Max Keeble's Big Move quotes

View Quote Troy McGinty: I pound on kids. That's what I do, that's what I do! You know what they call me up there?
[the school nurse nods her head no]
Troy McGinty: The MacGoogler.
[Troy then sobs]
School Nurse: Troy, easy. Now, I'd like to take you through a childhood regression process. It may bring up some unpleasant memories... but I think you'll find it helpful in the end. All righty?
Troy McGinty: Mmm-hmm.
School Nurse: [reveals Troy the MacGoogles doll] Now, give Mr. MacGoogles a hug.
Troy McGinty: [acting frightened] Aah! Aah! He's gonna eat me!
[then sobs again]
School Nurse: We've got some work to do.

View Quote [last lines]
Megan: He did it!
Robe: All right, Max!
Max: [narrating] Yep, I did it. The animal shelter was safe; the bullies were cooked, and Jindraike got fired for fiddling with the budget. As for me and my friends, well, we were just happy the first week of school was over, now we could chill for the rest of the year.
[Max is riding his bike]
Evil Ice Cream Man: [to Max] I'll get you, Paper Boy!
Max: [narrating] Oh, man!

View Quote [Max is distracted seeing his crush, Jenna, when he gets hit by a door and falls to the ground. Jenna walks up to him]
Jenna: Are you okay?
Max: [straining] Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. [picks himself up]
Jenna: You look kind of familiar.
Max: I deliver your paper. Um, I'm Max, Jenna.
Jenna: Oh, yeah. So you go to school here now?
Max: You play the clarinet.
Jenna: [show her clarinet case] First chair.
Max: I'm in band, too. I play the bassoon.
Jenna: Hmm. Well, I'll see you later.
Max: I'll see you, uh, bassoon. [Jenna turns and gives him a sweet smile] [annoyed] "See you bassoon"? Ugh. Stupid.

View Quote [Max is on his way to Megan's house when he sees Jenna leaving her house]
Jenna: Hey, Max.
Max: Hi, Jenna.
Jenna: Do you want to hang out? I'm meeting some friends at Buddies.
Max: You know what? I actually gotta kinda be somewhere.
Jenna: Oh, come on. Stay for one milk shake. It'll be fun.
Max: Well...
[Jenna bends down to him and smiles sweetly]
Jenna: One milkshake.
Max: You know what? Okay. All right. One...milkshake.
[As Max and Jenna head to Buddies, Jenna wraps her arm around Max]

View Quote [teacher wants Max to write a long essay due Friday]
Max: Wait. Friday was the day I was moving. And this teacher was mean. She let Dobbs steal my money. She wanted to punish me when it wasn't my fault. But if I wasn't gonna be here, what could she really do to me, right? It was time to take a stand.

View Quote [Troy and Dobbs are surrounded by nerds]
Troy McGinty: [sarcastically] I'm so scared.
Megan: You should be. We're taking back our school.
Robe: Yeah. No more being pushed around. No more being stepped on. No more Mr. Not-Nice-Guy.
Slav #1: Your reign of terror over the student body has come to an abrupt halt!
[kids are surprised, until "slav" resumes fake accent]
Slav #1: Yes, please.

View Quote [Jindrake: You've acted like a criminal, so I'm going to treat you like a criminal.] [Jindrake points model cannon at Max] I'm not a criminal. People who do crimes are criminals, like you.

View Quote [first lines] Max: In a world where the messengers of truth... the couriers of justice, bravely go forth... to complete their appointed routes...
Computer Man in Voice: Your mission... complete paper route in 30 minutes.
Max: One lone hero stands out among the rest. One fearless rider has the fortitude... to deliver the goods. To stand up to the forces of darkness... the legions of doom, the armies of oppression... and the evil Ice Cream Man.
Evil Ice Cream Man: Paperboy. Welcome to the ice age, paperboy! [speaking into microphone] ♪I scream, you scream, We all scream for ice cream!♪ Oh, nuts! I forgot the sprinkles!
Tony Hawk: Hey, Max. Ohh!
Evil Ice Cream Man: Hmmm... A Tony Hawk sundae!
[gets hit by ice cream from the evil ice cream man]
Tony Hawk: Oh, that Ice Cream Man sure is evil.
Evil Ice Cream Man: [He jumps from his ice cream truck, and carries two ice cream scoopers, and starts talking as if he is in the old Chinese movies] Huh! Hah! I will defeat you... with my complicated fighting move.
Max: [the words don't match his mouth] We shall see whose kung fu is superior. Hyah!
Evil Ice Cream Man: Oh!
Max: Yah! Paperboy power!
Evil Ice Cream Man: Aah! Didn't hurt! You can run, but you can't hide, paperboy!
[after Max just escaped the evil ice cream man, he arrives at Jenna's. Jenna is on her swing and walks up to Max]
Max: Paper?
Jenna: What took you so long?
Max: I, uh, stopped to get an ice cream.

View Quote [On the School TV] Attention, students, this is Max Keeble speaking. First, I'd like to say to my friends, Megan and Robe, that I, I know that I acted like a jerk, and I'm sorry for ever getting you involved in this. I screwed up, but you guys are my best friends, and that's forever. [Jindrake is walking through the halls] I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. [Jindrake stops and backs up to see the TV] Probably doesn't matter to you anymore, but I'm not moving. [Jindrake: [Notices Max on the TV and runs to the office] KEEBLE!] And McGinty and Dobbs. It's me you want, so leave my friends alone. I may have run before, but I am all through running now. You want me, I'll be at the parking lot, 3:00.

View Quote [To his father] If you rise up and show that your not afraid...those people...will no longer have control over your lives.

View Quote [To Ms. Dingman] If you're ever in the windy city, [Kisses her hand] look me up. Anything.

View Quote And let me just remind the citizens of Curtis Junior High that we are now T-minus...several hours until the Superintendent Knebworth visit. That is all. Thank you.

View Quote And now, an announcement from your principal. This is Principal Jindrake. All students will report to the assembly hall during third period for a special presentation. Attendance is mandatory. All must attend. Not attending is prohibited. That is all. Thank you.

View Quote And now, without any further ado...what's that I hear? The pitter-patter of little feet? Allow me to introduce to you the newest addition to the Curtis Junior High School Cottontails! Three foreign exchange students from Eastern Europe and their names are...unimportant because they're here to lead us to gridiron glory! Why, all they need is a place to play! Students, I give you your new football stadium!

View Quote Because of yesterday's crimes against the school, instigated by your former classmate, Max Keeble, the following extracurricular activities are now suspended: Art! Music! P.E.! Fun!! Suspended! Discontinued! Defunct!!