Max Keeble [To his father]
If you rise up and show that your not afraid...those people...will no longer have control over your lives.
Played by Alex D. Linz 
Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) · 63 quotes
Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) · 63 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Max Keeble's Big Move (2001): in 18 of its 63 quotes
Most scenes with: Jenna (3), Evil Ice Cream Man (3), Principal Jindrake (2)
If you're ever in the windy city, [Kisses her hand] look me up. Anything.
More lines from Max Keeble
3 quotes Max Keeble [On the School TV]
Attention, students, this is Max Keeble speaking. First, I'd like to say to my friends, Megan and Robe, that I, I know that I acted like a jerk, and I'm sorry for ever getting you involved in this. I screwed up, but you guys are my best friends, and that's forever. [Jindrake is walking through the halls] I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. [Jindrake stops and backs up to see the TV] Probably doesn't matter to you anymore, but I'm not moving. [Jindrake: [Notices Max on the TV and runs to the office] KEEBLE!] And McGinty and Dobbs. It's me you want, so leave my friends alone. I may have run before, but I am all through running now. You want me, I'll be at the parking lot, 3:00.
[Jindrake: You've acted like a criminal, so I'm going to treat you like a criminal.] [Jindrake points model cannon at Max]
I'm not a criminal. People who do crimes are criminals, like you.
Scenes with Max Keeble
14 scenes Max [first lines]
In a world where the messengers of truth... the couriers of justice, bravely go forth... to complete their appointed routes...
Computer Man in Voice
Your mission... complete paper route in 30 minutes.
Max One lone hero stands out among the rest. One fearless rider has the fortitude... to deliver the goods. To stand up to the forces of darkness... the legions of doom, the armies of oppression... and the evil Ice Cream Man.
Paperboy. Welcome to the ice age, paperboy! [speaking into microphone] ♪I scream, you scream, We all scream for ice cream!♪ Oh, nuts! I forgot the sprinkles!
Tony Hawk Hey, Max. Ohh!
Hmmm... A Tony Hawk sundae!
Tony Hawk [gets hit by ice cream from the evil ice cream man]
Oh, that Ice Cream Man sure is evil.
[He jumps from his ice cream truck, and carries two ice cream scoopers, and starts talking as if he is in the old Chinese movies]
Huh! Hah! I will defeat you... with my complicated fighting move.
Max [the words don't match his mouth]
We shall see whose kung fu is superior. Hyah!
Max Yah! Paperboy power!
Aah! Didn't hurt! You can run, but you can't hide, paperboy!
Max [after Max just escaped the evil ice cream man, he arrives at Jenna's. Jenna is on her swing and walks up to Max]
Paper?
What took you so long?
Max I, uh, stopped to get an ice cream.
Keeble! Caught your act in the assembly! Looks like you could use some help with managing your portfolio.
Max Hey, that's my lunch money!
And you have it all in cash. Kid, let me hold this for a while and I'll set you up with a nice mutual fund.
What is the meaning of this?
Max Hey, I didn't do that.
So you want to save the filthy little beasts, eh? Perhaps you want me to give the animals my car. Do you want me to give my car to the smelly goat?
Max Goats don't drive, sir.
I don't care what you want me to do. The smelly goat will never get my car. Ever.
Max The animals have nowhere to go. Some creep's closing down the shelter.
I'm closing down the shelter, silly boy.
Max What?
All I need now is the right bulldozer. I'm thinking big and yellow. Where did you think I was going to build Knebworth stadium? In your house? [sarcastically] Ha, ha. Your house. That's rich. There wouldn't be room.
Max Whoa.
Max Do you mind if I hang here for a while, because there's some people after me. I did some stuff. Yeah, you probably... Yeah I'm really sorry about the cafeteria. But Jindraike has no right to do what he's doing, and now my friends are gonna get whaled on because of me, and I can't do anything about it.
Janitor Any kid can make a mess. Takes a man to clean it up.
Max [leaves, Max sits alone in the janitor's office] [narrating]
It took a man with a plunger to make me realize that I had to do something. I thought I'd stood up to the bullies, but all I'd really done was hit and run. That's not courage. That's ex-courage.
[Max is distracted seeing his crush, Jenna, when he gets hit by a door and falls to the ground. Jenna walks up to him]
Are you okay?
Max [straining]
Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. [picks himself up]
You look kind of familiar.
Max I deliver your paper. Um, I'm Max, Jenna.
Oh, yeah. So you go to school here now?
Max You play the clarinet.
Max I'm in band, too. I play the bassoon.
Hmm. Well, I'll see you later.
Max I'll see you, uh, bassoon. [Jenna turns and gives him a sweet smile] [annoyed] "See you bassoon"? Ugh. Stupid.
Max [leaves class after insulting his teacher he passes Jenna and her friend the hallway]
Well, hello, sweetheart. [Jenna and her friend turn and Jenna smiles at Max]
Keeble! Caught your act at the assembly. Looks like you can use some help with managing your portfolio.
Max [he takes Max's money]
Hey, that's my lunch money!
And you have it all in cash. Kid, let me hold this for a while and I'll set you up with a nice mutual fund.
Mrs. Talia What's going on here?
He's taking Max's lunch money!
Mrs. Talia Is this true, Mr. Dobbs?
No. I'm just spreading some investment wisdom. Speaking of which, how did Biomorph Systems work out for you?
Mrs. Talia Best money I ever spent. By the way, what do you think of Handspring?
Handspring? It's moving today. I'd say buy.
Max [teacher wants Max to write a long essay due Friday]
Wait. Friday was the day I was moving. And this teacher was mean. She let Dobbs steal my money. She wanted to punish me when it wasn't my fault. But if I wasn't gonna be here, what could she really do to me, right? It was time to take a stand.
You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarkey. I don't encourage it. I ex-courage it.
Max Ex-courage?
It means the opposite of encourage. Look it up.
Max Hi, Jenna.
Do you want to hang out? I'm meeting some friends at Buddies.
Max You know what? I actually gotta kinda be somewhere.
Oh, come on. Stay for one milk shake. It'll be fun.
Max Well...
Max You know what? Okay. All right. One...milkshake.
[As Max and Jenna head to Buddies, Jenna wraps her arm around Max]
Max [laughs] [narrating]
Okay, Evil Ice Cream man, me - You're wondering why, right?
Max [Max throws a paper at the Evil Ice Cream Man and pedals off with the Evil Ice Cream Man speeding behind him]
Well, I found a cockroach in my snowcone, my Mom called the Health department and he got nailed. He's been trying to nail me ever since.
[as a policeman on a motorcycle follows him]
Drat, the Fuzz! This isn't over, paperboy!
Entire Class
[after Troy shows who his latest victim will be]
Freak with Robe?
Max [Lets Robe out of the barrier]
Now, he's a little claustrophobic, so he might... [watches Robe throw up] Hurl!
What a waste of a perfectly good chili omelet...
[continues throwing up]
Max [talking to Jindraike with voiceover effect and pretending to do kung fu]
I do not fear your dark powers, bald one.
All right, Max!
Max [narrating]
Yep, I did it. The animal shelter was safe; the bullies were cooked, and Jindraike got fired for fiddling with the budget. As for me and my friends, well, we were just happy the first week of school was over, now we could chill for the rest of the year.
Max [narrating]
Oh, man!
