Peter Klaven Totally... Totes McGotes.
Played by Paul Rudd 
I Love You, Man (2009) · 17 quotes
I Love You, Man (2009) · 17 quotes
Most-quoted character in I Love You, Man (2009): in 13 of its 17 quotes
Most scenes with: Sydney Fife (8)
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon! Slappa de bass mon!
More lines from Peter Klaven
1 quote Peter Klaven Scenes with Peter Klaven
11 scenes
Joyce Klaven
Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Oh come on!
Zooey Good to know.
Oswald Kid had a Speedo full of Brillo.
Peter So what do I do? How do I make friends?
Robbie If you see a cool-looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter A what?
Robbie A man date.
Peter Okay.
Robbie You know what I mean?
Peter No.
Robbie By that I mean casual lunch or after-work drinks, okay? No dinner and no movies. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter Ohhhh, God I love that movie. [Robbie gives him a look] No, I won't.
Peter I'm Peter Klaven, I'm the realtor.
Hey, check out these two. That guy needs to fart.
Peter He does seem to be clenching.
Watch the leg. Boom!
Peter He farted in my open house.
He sure did. Look at him, crop dusting across your open house.
Peter Muscle Beach. Half an hour. I will see you there or I will see you on another time.
That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not.
Peter No, I'll be there. I'll be there.
Peter Alright. Laters on the menjay. [Hangs up] What did I just say?
Society tells us we're civilized, but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out. Try it.
Peter Blaaah!
Good. Now gently remove your tampon and try again.
You get home safe, Pistol.
Peter You got it, Joben.
I'm sorry, what?
Peter Er...nothing.
No, what did you say?
Peter Nah, I don't know. You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you..."Joben". It means nothing. I don't...I'm drunk, I'm gonna call a cab.
Wait, you jerked off to a picture of your own girlfriend? You - that - wow, that is sick! Oh my God, what is wrong with you?
Peter What's wrong with that?
Pedro, there is so much wrong - I don't even know where to begin...That is sick, man!
Doug I just wish I could take back that kiss...
Woah!
Doug ...because now I know it was the taste of betrayal.
Peter It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug It was the taste of betrayal.
Peter It wasn't the ta...
Doug It was the taste of betrayal...you **** whore!
Peter [Storms off]
I can actually explain that.
I would love to hear that!
Peter Look man, you told my fiancée she needs to give me blowies, in front of my whole family. Alright? You owe me.
You make a valid point.
Peter Hey Mel? Do you have any plans on June 30th?
Mel
I'm 89 years old, what the **** kind of plans would I have?
Peter I love you, man.
I love you, too, bud.
Peter I love you, dude.
I love you, Bro Montana.
Peter I love you, Holmes.
I love you, Broseph Goebbels.
Peter I love you, muchacha.
I love you, Tycho Brohe.
