Doug Hi Peter, I saw your billboards, they're spectacular. I'm sorry for calling you a whore. Best of luck with Sydney, if you're not still together... you can Facebook me.
Peter Klaven
Paul Rudd · 13 quotes
Sydney Fife
Jason Segel · 11 quotes
Most scenes together: Peter Klaven & Sydney Fife (8)
I Love You, Man quotes
Page 1 of 2 Doug Doug I just wish I could take back that kiss...
Woah!
Doug ...because now I know it was the taste of betrayal.
It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug It was the taste of betrayal.
It wasn't the ta...
Doug It was the taste of betrayal...you **** whore!
I would love to hear that!
Joyce Klaven
Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Oh come on!
Zooey Good to know.
Oswald Kid had a Speedo full of Brillo.
Man In Open House
[after trying to discreetly fart at an open house]
I like it, but I'm not sure about the space...I'm thinking it might be a little bit small.
Totally, and it smells like fart. Make sure you roll down the windows on the way home, sweetheart.
Hey Mel? Do you have any plans on June 30th?
Mel
I'm 89 years old, what the **** kind of plans would I have?
I love you, man.
I love you, too, bud.
I love you, dude.
I love you, Bro Montana.
I love you, Holmes.
I love you, Broseph Goebbels.
I love you, muchacha.
I love you, Tycho Brohe.
I'm Peter Klaven, I'm the realtor.
Hey, check out these two. That guy needs to fart.
He does seem to be clenching.
Watch the leg. Boom!
He farted in my open house.
He sure did. Look at him, crop dusting across your open house.
Look man, you told my fiancée she needs to give me blowies, in front of my whole family. Alright? You owe me.
You make a valid point.
So what do I do? How do I make friends?
Robbie If you see a cool-looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
A what?
Robbie A man date.
Okay.
Robbie You know what I mean?
No.
Robbie By that I mean casual lunch or after-work drinks, okay? No dinner and no movies. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Ohhhh, God I love that movie. [Robbie gives him a look] No, I won't.
Muscle Beach. Half an hour. I will see you there or I will see you on another time.
That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not.
No, I'll be there. I'll be there.
Alright. Laters on the menjay. [Hangs up] What did I just say?
Society tells us we're civilized, but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out. Try it.
Blaaah!
Good. Now gently remove your tampon and try again.
Wait, you jerked off to a picture of your own girlfriend? You - that - wow, that is sick! Oh my God, what is wrong with you?
What's wrong with that?
Pedro, there is so much wrong - I don't even know where to begin...That is sick, man!
You get home safe, Pistol.
You got it, Joben.
I'm sorry, what?
Er...nothing.
No, what did you say?
Nah, I don't know. You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you..."Joben". It means nothing. I don't...I'm drunk, I'm gonna call a cab.
Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon! Slappa de bass mon!
Totally... Totes McGotes.