Brad Stand How am I not myself? [repeated]
Played by Jude Law 
I Heart Huckabees (2004) · 60 quotes
I Heart Huckabees (2004) · 60 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in I Heart Huckabees (2004): in 11 of its 60 quotes
Most scenes with: Dawn Campbell (3)
Huckabees cornucopia of stuff we all want. But what happened to the gazelles? Were they squashed under the CD department?
More lines from Brad Stand
7 quotes Brad Stand Brad Stand Do I benefit from getting some great P.R. For Huckabees when we need it? Absolutely. But do I care about saving the open spaces?
Brad Stand Yes, I do.
Shania hates mayo all right, and she can't eat chicken salad, thats no joke. We gave it to her once, she threw up in the limo - the lady hates chicken salad. So I bring out a bunch of tuna fish sandwiches - she still doesn't believe me - I say, Shania, I'm allergic to mayo - which, by the way, is a lie. Shania still doesn't believe me so I eat two of the sandwiches in front of her to prove it. So she eats one and a half sandwiches, one and a half sandwiches... before she realizes, its chicken salad.
Brad Stand Shania cares!
Brad Stand Why is marriage and kids so important? I mean, there's an overpopulation problem!
Brad Stand [after Caterine snaps a photo of his sobbing]
NOBODY SEES THAT PICTURE!!!
Brad Stand Did you see that? Shania knew who I was.
Scenes with Brad Stand
3 scenes
Brad, do you love me?
Brad Stand I think so.
With the bonnet?
Brad Stand Ehhh...
There's glass between us. You can't deal with my infinite nature can you?
Brad Stand That is so not true. Wait, what does that even mean?
Oh please, I don't think of myself as being that pretty.
[Brad whispers in her ear]
Yes, that changed at Huckabees. You know, I was never the pretty girl.
Really?
No! I just have to keep up with this gorgeous hottie.
How's the sex?
How is the sex?
The sex?
Brad Stand Come on, guys.
Brad Stand [laughs]
Come on. That's private.
That's gross.
Our undercover surveillance shows it's been infrequent and short. Eight to nine minutes. Typically.
Surveillance? You've watched us?
No, just listened.
Brad Stand [laughs uncomfortably]
So your surveillance is wrong!
Yeah. It's quantity not quality.
Brad Stand She meant quality not quantity.
I know, I was only joking.
Were you joking when you said quantity and not quality?
We're private about our seven minutes of heaven!
Brad Stand It's longer than that, darling.
Brad Stand You should see her after a couple of margaritas.
Other characters in I Heart Huckabees
More Jude Law characters
Dr. John Watson
Dan
Pitch Black
Dr. John Watson
Dickie Greenleaf
Alfie
Gigolo Joe
Jerome Eugene Morrow