Alfie quotes from Alfie (2004)

Alfie

In every doomed relationship there comes what I like to call the "oh oooh"-moment. And a certain little something happens and you know you've just witnessed the beginning of the end. Suddenly you stop and you think: "oh oooh"... iceberg ahead.

Alfie

What happens with me is ? I don't know ? I get? when it gets too? not close, but something like that, I start to feel? not stifled? not trapped? but, but? something like that and I ? you know, you know what I mean.

Alfie

When I look back on my little life and all the women I've known. I can't help to think about all that they've done for me, I hadn't left up for them, how they looked after me, and cared for me, and I would pay them by never returning the favor. Yeah, I used to think I had the best end of the deal. What have I got? really? some money in my pocket, some nice threads, a fancy car at my disposal, and I am single? unattached, free as a bird. I don't depend on nobody. Nobody depends on me. My life's my own. But I don't have peace of mind. And if you don't have that, you have nothing. So.. so what's the answer, I keep asking myself. What's it all about. You know what I mean.

Alfie

Well, no, I've never done it. But it might be worth a try.

Alfie

I myself subscribe more to the European philosophy of life, my priorities leaning towards wine, women and... well that's about it.

Alfie

Whenever you meet a beautiful woman, just remember somewhere there's a man who's sick of shagging her.

Alfie

Anyone in the mood for a little Alfie, straight-up?

Alfie

It seems to me the problems you worry yourself sick about never seem to materialize. It's the ones that catch you unexpectedly on a Wednesday afternoon that knock you sideways.

Alfie

The problem is, she doesn't have enough of the superficial things that really matter.

Alfie

I give her my highest grade: A minus. Look at her - legs like racehorse, perfect yoga bum

Alfie

For us boys its all about FBB, Face-Boobs,Bum