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I Heart Huckabees

I Heart Huckabees quotes

56 total quotes

Albert Markovski
Bernard Jaffe
Brad Stand
Dawn Campbell
Multiple Characters
Tommy Corn




View Quote 'Betrayed' by Albert Markovski. Is it possible for anybody in this world to work together to make it better? I don't think so.
View Quote Albert Markovski: No, I'm not. I'm talking about not covering every square inch with houses and strip malls until you can't remember what happens when you stand in a meadow at dusk.
Bret: What happens in the meadow at dusk?
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: It's beautiful.
Tommy Corn: It's beautiful.
View Quote Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real.
Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is!
Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!
Tommy Corn: It's amazing!
Albert Markovski: I know.
Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special
Albert Markovski: Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.
View Quote Albert Markovski: What, is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?
Vivian Jaffe: Albert, have you ever been in love?
Albert Markovski: What kind of question is that?
View Quote Bernard Jaffe: [points to zipper bag] All right, get in.
Albert Markovski: You want me to get in?
Bernard Jaffe: Mm-hm.
Albert Markovski: So get in here?
Bernard Jaffe: Yeah.
Albert Markovski: What's gonna happen to me in there?
Bernard Jaffe: You're gonna see.
View Quote Cricket: Jesus is never mad at us if we live with Him in our hearts!
Tommy Corn: I hate to break it to you, but He is - He most definitely is.
View Quote Dawn Campbell: Brad, do you love me?
Brad Stand: I think so.
Dawn Campbell: With the bonnet?
Brad Stand: Ehhh...
View Quote Dawn Campbell: Oh please, I don't think of myself as being that pretty.
Dawn Campbell: [Brad whispers in her ear] Yes, that changed at Huckabees. You know, I was never the pretty girl.
Bernard Jaffe: Really?
Dawn Campbell: No! I just have to keep up with this gorgeous hottie.
Vivian Jaffe: How's the sex?
Bernard Jaffe: How is the sex?
Dawn Campbell: The sex?
Brad Stand: Come on, guys.
Brad Stand: [laughs] Come on. That's private.
Dawn Campbell: That's gross.
Vivian Jaffe: Our undercover surveillance shows it's been infrequent and short. Eight to nine minutes. Typically.
Dawn Campbell: Surveillance? You've watched us?
Vivian Jaffe: No, just listened.
Brad Stand:[laughs uncomfortably] So your surveillance is wrong!
Dawn Campbell: Yeah. It's quantity not quality.
Brad Stand: She meant quality not quantity.
Dawn Campbell: I know, I was only joking.
Bernard Jaffe: Were you joking when you said quantity and not quality?
Dawn Campbell: We're private about our seven minutes of heaven!
Brad Stand: It's longer than that, darling.
Dawn Campbell: [laughs hysterically] Eight minutes of heaven! It's quantity not quality!
Brad Stand: You should see her after a couple of margaritas.
View Quote Dawn Campbell: There's glass between us. You can't deal with my infinite nature can you?
Brad Stand: That is so not true. Wait, what does that even mean?
View Quote Mr. Hooten: God gave us oil! He gave it to us! How can God's gift be bad?
Tommy Corn: I don't know. He gave you a brain too and you messed that up pretty damn good.
Mr. Hooten: I want you sons of bitches out of my house now!
Tommy Corn: If Hitler were alive, he'd tell you not to think about oil.
Mrs. Hooten: *You're* the Hitler! We took a Sudanese refugee into our home!
Tommy Corn: You did. But how did Sudan happen, ma'am? Could it possibly be related to dictatorships that we support for some stupid reason?
Mr. Hooten: You shut up! You get out!
Tommy Corn: You shut up.
Tommy Corn:[to Albert] Come on. Let's get out of here.
View Quote Mr. Hooten: Stevo, I'm so disappointed.
Mrs. Hooten: It's all right. Look, he's sad. He's sad.
Mr. Hooten: I'm sorry Stevo. My bad. You didn't know.
Tommy Corn: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Mr. Hooten: I should be what?
Tommy Corn: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Mr. Hooten: And why's that? Why whould I be ashamed of myself?
Tommy Corn: You're a hypocrite.
Mr. Hooten: I'm a what?
Tommy Corn: You're misleading these children. 'Cause you're the destroyer, man.
Mr. Hooten: How am I the destroyer?
Tommy Corn: I saw that S.U.V. out there.
Mr. Hooten: My car's the destroyer? You wanna know how many miles per gallon I get?
View Quote Mr. Hooten: What happened to the cat, Albert?
Albert Markovski: How'd you know about my cat?
Mr. Hooten: The cat was killed by curiosity.
Albert Markovski: Oh, that cat.
View Quote Mrs. Hooten: Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club?
Albert Markovski: You mean the existential detectives?
Mr. Hooten: Sounds like a support group.
Cricket: Why can't he use the church?
Mrs. Hooten: Sometimes people have additional questions to be answered.
Cricket: Like what?
Albert Markovski: Well, um, for instance - if the forms of this world die, which is more real: the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?
View Quote Mrs. Hooten: So Tommy, what do you do?
Tommy Corn: I'm a firefighter.
Mr. Hooten: Congratulations, you're a hero.
Tommy Corn: I'm no hero. We'd all be heroes if we stopped using petroleum!
View Quote Tommy Corn: [after being hit in the face with a rubber ball] Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?
Caterine Vauban: Don't call it the ball thing. Call it pure being.
Tommy Corn: Okay... so can we do the pure being ball thing everyday?