Albert Markovski Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock. The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.
Most-quoted character in I Heart Huckabees (2004): in 20 of its 60 quotes
Most scenes with: Tommy Corn (6), Vivian Jaffe (4), Bernard Jaffe (2)
'Betrayed' by Albert Markovski. Is it possible for anybody in this world to work together to make it better? I don't think so.
More lines from Albert Markovski
7 quotes Albert Markovski Albert Markovski [about the body bag exercise]
I can't go back in there. It's all hating faces that I have to chop up with a machete!
Albert Markovski We're not in Infinity, we're in the suburbs
Albert Markovski Everything is the same, even if it's different.
Albert Markovski Mother**** **** mother**** shit ****er what am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can. I know that's all I can ask of myself. Is that good enough? Is my work doing any good? Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things? The African guy is a sign, right? Because if he isn't, than nothing in this world makes any sense to me. I'm ****! Maybe I should quit. Don't quit! Maybe I should just **** quit. Don't **** quit! I don't know what the **** I'm supposed to **** do anymore! ****er! **** shit!
Albert Markovski [to Vivian Jaffe]
I can't believe you guys actually exist.
Albert Markovski What?! Is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?!
Scenes with Albert Markovski
12 scenes
Have you ever transcended space and time?
Albert Markovski Yes. No. Uh...time, not space. No, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Albert Markovski The interconnection thing is definitely for real.
It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is!
Albert Markovski I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!
It's amazing!
Albert Markovski I know.
But it's also nothing special
Albert Markovski Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.
What happened to the cat, Albert?
Albert Markovski How'd you know about my cat?
The cat was killed by curiosity.
Albert Markovski Oh, that cat.
Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club?
Albert Markovski You mean the existential detectives?
Sounds like a support group.
Cricket
Why can't he use the church?
Sometimes people have additional questions to be answered.
Cricket
Like what?
Albert Markovski Well, um, for instance - if the forms of this world die, which is more real: the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Albert Markovski I was thinking about chaining myself to a bulldozer. Do you want to come?
What time?
Albert Markovski Mmm... one, one-thirty.
Sounds good. Should I bring my own chains?
Albert Markovski We always do.
Why don't you just tell me what your situation is?
Albert Markovski Look, I'm not really sure I know exactly what you guys do around here, all right?
Well, we'll investigate and solve your case.
Albert Markovski How?
If you sign a contract we'll follow you.
Albert Markovski You'll spy?
Yes.
Albert Markovski On me?
Yes.
Albert Markovski Will you be spying on me in the bathroom?
Yes.
Albert Markovski In the bathroom?
Yes.
Albert Markovski Why?
There's nothing too small. You know when police find the slightest piece of DNA and build a case on it? If we might see you floss or masturbate that could be the key to your entire reality.
Albert Markovski No, I'm not. I'm talking about not covering every square inch with houses and strip malls until you can't remember what happens when you stand in a meadow at dusk.
Bret What happens in the meadow at dusk?
Albert Markovski Everything.
Nothing.
Albert Markovski Everything.
Nothing.
Albert Markovski It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
Albert Markovski You want me to get in?
Mm-hm.
Albert Markovski So get in here?
Yeah.
Albert Markovski What's gonna happen to me in there?
You're gonna see.
Ah, here he comes!
Albert Markovski Oh, boy.
The man-poet who banged France's dark lady of philosophy. The parking lot crusader of truth... who turned his back on his other like a cold-blooded gangsta.
Albert Markovski What, is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?
Albert, have you ever been in love?
Albert Markovski What kind of question is that?
Albert Markovski Yeah, and if I weren't pro bono, I'd want MY money back!
You live all the time with things you can't see. You can't see electricity, can you? You can't see radio waves, but you accept them.
Trust.
Albert Markovski just trust!
You better stay away from Caterine, Albert, 'cause she's gonna lead you down the path of darkness.
She was our prize graduate student until she went astray.
Albert Markovski No, I think that I am going to stay with her, and the cracks and the pain and the nothingness, because THAT's more real to me, THAT's what I feel.
Word.
Okay, we're not sweatin' it.
No, we're gonna work with Brad.
It'll all come back to you and interconnection.
Albert Markovski Brad? Are you kidding me? I'm gonna work on that prick and it's all gonna come to pain and no connection!
No.
It's on.
