Captain James Hook Revenge is Mine.
Played by Dustin Hoffman 
Hook (1991) · 89 quotes
Hook (1991) · 89 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Hook (1991): in 28 of its 89 quotes
Most scenes with: Peter Banning/Peter Pan (8), Mr. Smee (8), Jack Banning (5)
There's no stopping me this time, Smee. My finger is on the trigger. This is it! Don't try to stop me this time, Smee! Don't try to stop me this time, Smee! Don't you dare try to stop me, Smee, try to stop me. Smee... you'd better get up off your arse and get over here, Smee. This is not a joke! I'M COMMITTING SUICIDE! [Wrestles for the gun with Smee. Gun goes off, sinking a model ship.] Don't ever frighten me like that again!
More lines from Captain James Hook
12 quotes Captain James Hook Captain James Hook He'll crow. He'll fight. He'll fly. And then... he'll die.
Captain James Hook Oh, I hate being disappointed, Smee. And I hate living in this flawed body. And I hate living in Neverland. And I hate... I hate... I hate Peter Pan!
Captain James Hook [the pirates are playing baseball, and the catcher shoots the runner stealing second]
No, no, no! Now stop it! We're playing this game by Master Jack's rules. Bad form! Sit down, now. Let's resume the game. [to the lady next to him] Very violent sport, isn't it, baseball?
Captain James Hook Are you ready for me Peter... come on... humour the Hook!
Captain James Hook You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. When you wake up, you'll just be Peter Banning - a cold, selfish man who drinks too much, who's obsessed with success, and runs and hides from his wife and children.
Captain James Hook What would the world be like without Captain Hook?
Captain James Hook And wherever children read, it will say "Thus perished Peter Pan."
Captain James Hook Hello children. Comfy? Cozy?
Captain James Hook And you'd better deliver, Miss Bell, or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where I will send you.
Captain James Hook Fools, James Hook is Neverland! [Corners Peter and prepares to impale him with his hook] Whenever children read, it will say "Thus perished Peter Pan."
Captain James Hook [Last words]
I want my mommy!
Scenes with Captain James Hook
15 scenesI remember you being a lot bigger.
Captain Hook To a ten-year-old I'm Huge.
I've just had an apostrophe.
Captain Hook I think you mean an epiphany.
Lightning... just struck my brain.
Captain Hook That must've hurt.
Captain Hook I already have.
Captain Hook Peter Pan, prepare to meet thy doom.
Dark and sinister man, have at thee.
Captain Hook [to the pirates]
Remember the fires of hell that forged you, charge!
Captain Hook Peter. I swear to you wherever you go, wherever you are, I vow there will always be daggers buried in notes signed James Hook. They will be flung into doors of your children's children's children, do you hear me?
What do you want, old man?
Captain Hook Just you.
You've got me, James Hook.
Captain James Hook Hear me, men. For reasons of good form, I have decided that this so-called Pan will return in three days to commit the arbitrament of the sword. Smee, translate.
In three days, we're gonna have a war! A battle between good and evil to the death!
Uh... [whispers in Hook's ear]
Captain Hook I beg your pardon?
[whispers again]
Captain Hook You must be joking. [to other pirates] [laughing] Peter Pan has a real problem with heights.
Hook I want to die.
Oh, captain...
Hook There's no adventure here.
Hook Death is the only great adventure I have left.
What about the name Hook? Is that how you want to be remembered as a bully? Or as the great warrior who defeated a heroic Pan? [pause] One week and I'll get him in shape, and you can have your dirty old war!
It's a trick, Captain! Let me blast that buzzing vixen to Pixie Hell!
Captain Hook Smee.
You promised people the war of the century. Your whole life has been building to this. Mortal combat, glory. Hook versus Pan!
Captain Hook That is not Pan. Two days.
Four. Bare minimum for a decent Pan.
Captain Hook Three. Final offer.
Done.
Captain Hook And you'd better deliver, Miss Bell...... or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where I will send you.
Pirate Crew
Ohh.
Captain Hook Hear me, men. I've decided that the so-called Pan will return in three days to commence the arbitrament of the sword. Smee, translate.
In three days we’re gonna have a war. A battle between good and evil, to the death.
Pirates
[cheering]
Aah!
Peter!
Noodler Whoops.
Help me.
Peter!
Captain Hook Now pay attention, class. We have a lot to go over. Lesson One: Why parents hate their children. Anyone?
Captain Hook You! The cute little urchin in the front row. Won't you share your thoughts with the whole class?
Yes! I said Mommy reads to us every night, because she loves us very much!
Captain Hook Loves you? [To Smee] Isn't that the, uh, the, um...?
The 'L' word, Captain.
Captain Hook [grimly chuckles]
Ooh, yes! No, child! I think your mother reads to you every night in order to stupefy you to sleep, so that she and Daddy can sit down for three measly minutes without you and you mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive and nagging demands! "He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want! Me, me, me, me! Mine, mine, mine, mine! Now, now, now!" [inhales deeply] Can't you understand, child? They tell you stories to shut you up.
And conk you out.
Captain Hook Lie? Me? [laughs] Never. [inhales deeply again] The truth is far too much fun. Oh, my child, before you were born, your parents would stay up all night together. just to see the sunrise. Don't be frightened. Maggie, before you were born, they were happier. They were free.
Captain Hook Smee, flunk the maggot.
Abso-flogging-lutely.
Captain Hook Jack. Your father went to your sister's school play, did he not? But did he go to your baseball game?
How'd you know about that?
Captain Hook He missed the most important game on what might have been the most important day... of your young life.
I wanna tear your hook off!
Captain Hook Easy.
I hate, I hate you, Mr. Hook!
Captain Hook What did I tell you, Smee? No little children love me.
Of course they do. Come on, you. [grabs Maggie] You're depressing the Captain.
Captain Hook Get that little squidling out of here.
Jack, you listen to me! Never Land makes you forget! Never forget... Mommy or Daddy! Think of a way to run home, Jack! Run home!
Run home?
Captain Hook [to Jack]
Jack. [puts his hook in front of his face; Jack's eyes widen a bit] You are home. [laughs] Right?
Captain Hook What is it? I hear it. I hear it again. Smee, it's that crocodile back from the dead? Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock! Is that the clock?
You killed that croc years ago, Captain. We smash every clock we find. Little elf didn't know any better.
Captain Hook To the museum, at once.
Shine them up! Put a fresh coat of varnish on your peg, right here!
Treasure maps! Authentic treasure maps! Trade ‘em here!
Captain Hook Come on, Jack. Are you ready? Come to see. Ahh! Broken clocks. Each one ticked its last tock, and now all is well. Just listen.
I don't hear anything.
Captain Hook [laughs]
I know! Good form! Exactly. Jack, you see this? Come over here. You can take it. This is Barbecue's very own bedside clock. He was quite an infamous pirate. You see, Jack, I smashed this clock immediately after I gutted him.
And his ship made such a pretty bonfire on the waves.
Captain Hook Such a pretty, pretty……What is that I hear? A ticking. Smee, stop it! Stop the ticking! Stop that! Stop that "tick-tick"!
There's no ticking here. There's nothing left to tick.
Oh, my God.
Captain Hock
This is for the ticking that might have been.
Abso-flogging-lutely!
Captain Hook Get his father's watch!
All right.
Captain Hook Go on. [in the Museum where all clocks are destroyed. Hook hands Jack a hammer to destroy his father's watch] You know you want to. Give it a try. Go on.
This is for… never letting me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk!
Captain Hook Ha ha! Good form! Bravo!
There you go! In’t that wonderful?
This is for never letting me jump on my own bed.
Captain Hook [smashes another clock]
Make time stand still, laddie.
For always making promises and breaking them!
Captain Hook For a father who's never there, Jack. Jack, for a father who didn't save you on the ship.
Captain Hook Who couldn't save you, Jack.
He wouldn't. He didn't even try. He was there, we were there, and he wouldn't try.
Captain Hook Jack, he will try. And the question will be: When the time comes, do you want to be saved? Now, don't you answer now. No, no, no, no. Now it's time to be whatever you want to be. Put behind you any thoughts of home...that place of broken promises.
That what?
Captain Hook Have I ever made a promise, Jack.….. I have not kept? Have I, Son?
Come on. Let's go. I don't like this game.
“Steal Hook's hook as fast as you can.”
“It'll make you proud.”
“Then you crow like Pan.”
Captain Hook Confound it, Druscilla, glove me. The game is about to start. I need my bubbly. Give me my bubbly.
Pirates
Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook!
Captain Hook Jackie, boy! Jack! This is for all the games your daddy missed. Hook would never miss your game, Son.
You're almost there. Just take it.
What's he looking at?
Come on, you're this close.
Don't Ask: What's the matter? It's right here.
What's wrong?
Grab it, come on. Grab it, Peter.
Come on, Jack.
And one. and a-two.... And at toodle-loodle-loo!
Strike!
Wait for the good pitches. [pirate voice] Wait for the good pitches.
Pirates
Jack! Jack! He's our man. If he can't do it, no one can!
He's stealing second!
Captain Hook [Noodler pulls out a large flintlock pistol and shoots the player, who comically falls down dead. Smee, pats himself down to make sure he wasn’t shot.]
No, no, no! No, now stop it! We're playing this game according to Master Jack's rules! Bad form! it down now! Let's resume the game. [To the lady next to him] Very violent sport, isn't it, baseball?
Come on, Jack!
Pirates
[holding up a sign reading "Run Home Jack"]
Run home, Jack! Run home, Jack!
"Run home, Jack."
Captain Hook Smee, no, no, no! They've got it backwards! Tell them to turn it around!
Maggie?
Switch!
Pirates
[the pirates fix the sign to read "Home Run Jack." They read it]
Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack!
Home run, Jack. Home run, Jack. He can't hit the curve.
Jack!
Yeah!
Ohh!
Captain Hook My Jack!
My Jack.
Captain Hook You did it! Hoist him up! That's my boy! You did it, Son!
Prostitutes
Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Jack! Jack! Yay, Jack!
Captain Hook Jack, it's a very special time when a pirate receives his first earring. Such a very beautiful feeling. It's like the first time you run someone through with your blade.
[cheering]
Captain Hook Now, Jack.. I'm gonna ask you to bend your head ever so slightly A little more. That's it. And brace yourself, lad, because this....is really going to hurt. Smee, what is that?
Who is that, Captain?
Captain Hook It's Peter Pan. Has it been three days? 'Tis true, Peter...…time does fly. And so do you, I see. How did you ever manage to fit into those smashing tights again, Peter?
Hand over my son now and you and your men may go free.
Captain Hook Why don't you ask the lad yourself. Jack, someone to see you, Son.
Jack, give me your hand. We're going home.
I am home.
Captain Hook [laughing]
Good form. You see, Peter, he is my son He loves me dearly. And I'm prepared to fight dearly for him. I've waited long to shake your hand with this. Peter Pan, prepare to meet thy doom!
Peter Pan': You dark and sinister man, have at thee.
Captain Hook Don't you love it, laddie? Once you've shed blood, it's hard to stop! It's a pirate's life, my lad!
Jack, Jack!
Don't I know him?
Captain Hook No, you've never seen him before!
Jack, you won't believe this I found my happy thought. It took me three days, then guess what happened when I did? Up I went! You know what my happy thought was? It was you.
That's my dad, but...he hates to fly.
[Peter and Jack fly off the ship and toward the Lost Boys and Maggie. Peter embraces his kids and the Lost Boys cheer for him.]
Peter!
Lost Boys.
Victory Basquet! Victory Basquet!
Captain Hook [An enraged Hook storms over to the edge of his ship and yells to his mortal enemey.]
Peter! Where are you going? Come back here and fight me! Or I'll find you wherever you are! Bad form, Peter! Come back!!
[Peter ignores his immature attitude and walks away with his kids and the Lost Boys, holding Jack's hand and carrying Maggie who yells back at the evil pirate.] [upset]
You need a mother very, very badly!
Captain Hook [Smee, now full of treasure, tries to make his gateaway]
Smee! Follow me!
Just moving your personal, sir.
Captain Hook Peter, I swear to you, wherever you go, wherever you are.... I vow there will always be daggers bearing notes signed "James Hook." They will be flung at the doors of your children's children's children. Do you hear me?
What do you want, old man?
Captain Hook Just you.
You've got me, James Hook. [flies back] Pan "The Avenger" is back.
Captain Hook And the Hook is waiting, Peter Pan.
[Smee helps Hook take off his coat and fights Peter with sparks crackling from their swords, Peter backflips off the ship and Hook follows him in determation.]
Put up your swords, boys. It's Hook and me this time.
Captain Hook Prepare to die, Peter.
To die would be a great adventure.
Captain Hook Death is the only adventure you have left.
Captain Hook To a 10-year-old, I'm huge.
Pan!
Good form, old man.
Captain Hook [Hook brutally knocks Peter down and puts his hook on the grinding wheel to sharpen it. Hook grins with pure evilness and anger at the terrified Peter as he mocks him whilst ready to finish him off.]
You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. You'll wake up, you'll be Peter Banning... a selfish man who drinks too much... who's obsessed with success... and runs and hides from his wife and children.
I believe in you.
I believe in you, Peter.
I believe in you.
You are the Pan. You're Peter Pan.
I believe in you... Peter Pan.
[this gains Peter some courage and with mighty effort, he shoves Hook off with his feet, knocking him over and making him lose his sword. Hook was about to grab it when Peter stops him and picks it up for him. Peter offers Hook's sword back. Hook takes his sword but suddenly slices Peter's arm with his new sharpen hook. Peter yells in pain as his arm bleeds]
Bad form!
Other characters in Hook
Peter Banning/Peter Pan
Mr. Smee
Bob Hoskins
Jack Banning
Charlie Korsmo
Tinkerbell
Julia Roberts
Granny Wendy/Wendy Darling
Maggie Smith
Maggie
Amber Scott
Moira
Caroline Goodall
Rufio
Dante Basco
Moria
Tootles
Arthur Malet
Lost Boys
Thud
Raushan Hammond
Latchboy
Alex Zuckerman
Lost Boy
No Nap
Ahmad Stoner
Pockets
Isaiah Robinson
Too Small
Thomas Tulak
Liza
Laurel Cronin
Pirate
Jeff Bornstein
Umpire
Airplane Captain
Mr. Smee
Bob Hoskins
Jack Banning
Charlie Korsmo
Tinkerbell
Julia Roberts
Granny Wendy/Wendy Darling
Maggie Smith
Maggie
Amber Scott
Moira
Caroline Goodall
Rufio
Dante Basco
Moria
Tootles
Arthur Malet
Lost Boys
Thud
Raushan Hammond
Latchboy
Alex Zuckerman
Lost Boy
No Nap
Ahmad Stoner
Pockets
Isaiah Robinson
Too Small
Thomas Tulak
Liza
Laurel Cronin
Pirate
Jeff Bornstein
Umpire
Airplane Captain
More Dustin Hoffman characters
Benjamin Braddock
Shifu
Lenny Bruce
Enrico Salvatore 'Ratso' Rizzo
Carl Bernstein
Sam Daniels
Tucker
Raymond