Rufio quotes from Hook (1991)

Rufio

You are the Pan.

Tootles

Lost... lost... [to Peter] I've lost my marbles.

Tootles

Have to fly, have to fight, have to crow, have to save Maggie, have to save Jack... Hookie's back.

Moira Banning

Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? Soon Jack might not even want you to come to his games. We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast Peter. Just a few years, and it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.

Tinkerbell

You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting.

Pockets

Oh, there you are, Peter!

Rufio

Rufi-OHHH!!!!!!!

Bangarang!

I WANT TO SPEAK TO A GROWN-UP.

Rufio

All grown-ups are pirates.

Excuse me?

Rufio

We kill pirates.

I'm not a pirate. It so happens, I'm a lawyer.

Rufio

...Kill the lawyer!

Kill the lawyer!

I'm not that kind of lawyer!

Substitute chemistry teacher!

C'mon Rufio, hit him back!

Rufio

Mung tongue!

Math tutor.

Rufio

Pinhead!

Prison Barber.

Rufio

Mother lover!

Nearsighted gynecologist.

Rufio

In your face, camel cake!

In your rear, cow derriere!

Rufio

Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig!

You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food, dude!

Bangerang, Peter!!!

Rufio

Do you know what I wish?

What?

Rufio

I wish I had a dad... like you.

Snow! What...? What? Help. HELP! Get me down! Help! Help!

Tinker Bell

Oh, you're alive!

Oh, get me down! I believe!

Tinker Bell

Lost Boys! Lost Boys! Wake up! Pan's back! Lost Boys! Lost Boys! Wake up!

That was my pillow!
Don't Ask: [stammers] I'm.. I'm.. I'm up.

Tinker Bell

Wake up, you sleepyheads!

Pan’s back! Pan’s back! Pan!

Pan's back! Pan's back! Pan!

Latchboy

Pan! Pan!

Who's the shrub?

Bangerang! Pan?
Don't Ask: That ain't Peter Pan.

He's old.

Latchboy

He's fat!

Not so fat to me.

He's an old, fat grandpa man.

Rufio! Rufio! Rufio!

Oh, That is so dangerous. [Rufio lands] That's enough! [after Rufio draws his sword] Okay, mister. All right. The show's over. Now you put that thing away! Now put it down before you poke somebody's eye out. [the Lost Boys all laugh] You're not old enough to shave. What are you doing with a sword? Kids flying around! This is an insurance nightmare! What's this? Some sort of Lord of the Flies preschool? Where are your parents? Who's in charge here?

No. No, Mr. Skunkhead-with-too-much-mousse…you are just a punk kid. [facing a mob of the Lost Boys] I want to speak to a grown-up!

Rufio

All grown-ups are pirates.

Excuse me?

Rufio

We kill pirates.

I'm not a pirate. It so happens, I'm a lawyer.

Rufio

Kill the lawyer!

Kill the lawyer!

I'm not that kind of lawyer. [high pitch] I've been shot! [normal voice] Help! Help me, somebody! No- no! Please stop! Why are you doing this to me?! [falls in the flower garden]

Tinker Bell

Rufio, you're the best with a sword. Please teach him. We gotta make him remember.

Excuse me! [hits the daffodil, it sneezes] Help me!

Help me!

Not you.

Not you! [Peter Pan with arrow shot by rear end]

Helmet! Oh, my! A wall.

Tinker Bell

Lost Boys, stop! Stop it!

Play!
Don't Ask: Play.

Rufio

You're dead, jolly man.

Tinker Bell

He can't do those things. He can't even play simple games Hook has got his kids, and I've got three days.. three days to get him ready to fight. And I need everybody's help.

Peter Pan's gots kids?

Rufio

He can't fly, fight or crow. So.. if any of you says this here scug ain't Peter Pan.. ..cross the line.

Hi. What? I'll be right back. What?

Tinker Bell

You are embarrassing me.

Pockets

Oh, there you are, Peter!

But, Peter....you've grown up. You promised never to grow old.

Peter..
Don't Ask: His nose got real big.

Well, welcome back to Never Land, Pan the Man.

Rufio

Don't listen to that fairy and that brainless fungus. I got Pan's sword! I'm the Pan now! You think this guy's gonna take it from me? Rufio?

Pockets

Wait! If Tink believes, maybe he is.

Rufio

Are you gonna follow this drooler against Capitán Hook?

Pockets

What's he doing here if he's not Peter Pan, huh? He don't look happy here. And who are them kids Hook's got? Give him a chance!

Those are my kids... .and Hook is gonna kill them unless we do something. Help me. Please.

Tinker Bell

Yeah, come on! Give him a chance!

Pick 'em up.

Pick 'em up.

Move 'em up.

Move 'em down.

Pick 'em on up.

Pick 'en on up.

Move 'em on down.

Move 'em on down.

Ain't no time to celebrate.

Ain't no time to celebrate.

You are old and overweight

You are old and overweight
Don't Ask: Gotta lose a million pounds.

Gotta lose a million pounds. Get your fat butt off the ground.

Reach on down and touch your toes.

Reach on down and touch your toes.

How long since you looked at those?

How long since you looked at those?
Don't Ask: Shape up.

Shape up.
Don't Ask: Lose weight.

Lose weight.
Don't Ask: Get thin.

Get thin.
Don't Ask: Gotta win.

Jumping jacks are good for you.
Don't Ask: Now your face is turning blue.

Now your face is turning blue.

Swing your arms around your back.

Swing your arms around your back. Give yourself a heart attack.

Gotta train.

Gotta train.

In the rain.

In the rain.
Don't Ask: In the sun.

In the sun.
Don't Ask: In the snow.

In the snow. Ten below.
Don't Ask: Gotta move.

Gotta move.
Don't Ask: Gotta crow.

Gotta crow.

Go easy on me. I'm a beginner.

Low! High! High!

Rufio

All right, gramps. Give it your best shot.

Tinker Bell

Rufio's only trying to help, Peter. Listen. Learn.

Okay, you ready? I don't wanna hurt you.

Latchboy

Watch your skin! You don't have armor on.

Rufio

Be Bangerang, old man.

Be Bangerang!

What are you doing? How does this help me get my kids back? What do I have to do next?

Next, time to fly.

Just think happy thoughts. Come on, Peter, think happy thoughts.

Tinker Bell

All you need is one happy thought, Peter, just one happy thought and it'll make you fly.

I got it! Not being in this slingshot would make me very happy!

Latchboy

He's going up! He’s going up!

He's coming down!

Peter Pan!

Pan. Pan! He's back! He's back! He's back!

Play! Play!

Rufio

You are the Pan. You can fly, you can fight, and you can crow. [Peter crows]
[the lost boys crows and cheering, Peter crows, Rufio crows, Peter continues crows]