Raymond quotes

View Quote I'm an excellent driver

View Quote Uh oh, fifteen minutes to Wapner.

View Quote Uh oh fart.

View Quote Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definitely not wearing my underwear.

View Quote Are you taking any prescription medication?

View Quote Look at this studio...

View Quote Qantas never crashed.

View Quote One for bad, two for good

View Quote Susanna: How was that?
Raymond: Wet.

View Quote Dr. Bruner: Wouldn't you be more comfortable in your K-mart clothes, Raymond?
Charlie: Tell him, Raymond.
Raymond: K-mart sucks.

View Quote Doctor: Are you autistic?
Raymond: I don't think so. No. Definitely not.

View Quote Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you, Raymond?
Raymond: Yeah.
Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago!

View Quote Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart.
Charlie: [Pulls over, gets out of the car and yells] I'm going out of my mind! Out of my mind! WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CINCINNATI OR WHEREVER!
Raymond: K-Mart!
Charlie: You know what I think, Ray? I think this autism is a bunch of shit! Because you can't tell me that you're not in there somewhere!
Raymond: Boxer shorts. K-Mart!

View Quote Charlie: I'll see you in two weeks, okay Raymond?
Raymond: One for bad, two for good.
Charlie: Well, bet two then, Raymond.
Raymond: Yeah.