Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008): in 6 of its 22 quotes
Most scenes with: Peter Bretter (5), Aldous Snow (3), Rachel Jansen (2)
Sarah Marshall Peter... as you know, I love you very much...
Sarah Marshall Pete? Are you, um...?
I just need a minute. [turns away, then hunches over and starts whimpering to himself]
Sarah Marshall Okay?
...
Sarah Marshall Do you want to put some clothes on?!
Sarah Marshall I feel... I've been feeling... that, for a long time, we've been growing apart. We're leading different lives.
Who's the dude? [stands up] Who's the dude?
Sarah Marshall What?! No, that's not what this is about! There's no one else. [stands up]
I know what's happening here. I really do. You've been working so much lately, that we haven't got to spend much time together and you're forgetting what it's like to be with me. But maybe if we just held each other or something, you would remember what it's like to be with me.
Sarah Marshall No.
Please hold me. [Sarah hesitates] Please. [he comes over to her and hugs her, still naked. Sarah hugs him back reluctantly]
Sarah Marshall There's someone else. [Peter pulls away from her and looks at her in shock] I'm sorry. [she walks out in tears]
Welcome to Turtle Bay. What can I do for you?
I'm checking in. My name's Bretter. Peter Bretter. But actually, I don't have a reservation. Just thought I'd... take my chances. [smiles weakly]
Oh! Wow. Bold! [she looks through the registrar] We are all booked up, but we do have the Kapua Suite available.
Um, okay. How much is that?
$6,000 a night.
Wow.
Beautiful views.
I can imagine... that's a little bit out of my price range. Sorry. [he looks around] That's a shame. This is such a beautiful... ([he jumps as he looks out the window and sees Sarah walking by] hotel.
Oh, yeah, it's Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene. [laughs] People are excited that she's here.
She's my ex-girlfriend. We broke up three weeks ago.
Oh. I'm sorry, sir.
Okay, like, this is fine, right?
Sir?
It's totally fine. [looks over his shoulder and sees Sarah entering the lobby] Okay, there she is. Did she see me?
Uh-huh.
Is she coming over here?
Yup.
I wish I wasn't wearing this **** shirt.
Fair enough. Why don't you try unbuttoning it? [Peter opens the top two buttons of the shirt and looks at her for approval] Button it back up.
Sarah Marshall Peter?
Hey. Hi.
Sarah Marshall What are you doing here?
I came here to murder you. [chuckles hysterically]
Sarah Really, what are you doing here?
I have been having a tough time, you know, back in L.A. Uh, but then, I came here, and here you are. I just think that's too crazy to...
Hey there, little sex object! [slaps Sarah's rear and kisses her forehead, catching her off-guard] I've lost a shoe [holds up a black flip-flop] Have you seen it anywhere? It's like this one, but obviously it's, um opposite of um, excuse me, Misses? [to Rachel] I've lost a shoe. It's like this one. It's like, this one's fellow. Sort of like the exact opposite of this one, in fact.
Uh-huh?
Not like, an evil version, but just, you know, a shoe, like this, but for the other foot, otherwise I'd have to...
Sarah Marshall Aldous, this is Peter.
Hey! Alright, Peter! Nice to meet you, mate. [shakes hands with Peter and shoulder-bumps him] Aldous. Good to meet you, man.
Sarah Marshall My ex-boyfriend.
Oh, right! Hey, I'm Aldous Snow.
I know who you are. Yeah, you're very, very famous.
Yeah, I am, I am... for my sins. So, are you, um, staying here as well?
I'm not, as a matter...
I'm sorry. Excuse me, Mr. Bretter, Ms. Marshall. [to Peter] But, we were, um, able to book the Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights.
You were?
Marvelous!
Perfect! Perfect amount of time. Listen, if you want to have dinner with us one of those nights, you're very...
Sarah Marshall Aldous!
No. No, that's very gentlemanly of you, but, uh, you two enjoy your trip, and, uh, I'll be just fine on my own in my Kapua Suite.
Alright, Peter.
Sarah Marshall Have a good trip, Pete.
I like your shirt. It's colorful. [he and Sarah walk away] Bye, ta-ta! [to Sarah] I was wearing two shoes this morning, wasn't I?
Bye, now. [to Rachel] Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out like that, but I still can't afford that room.
Nobody can. It's for, like, Oprah, or like, Celine Dion. Really, it's not a big deal. So, you can stay in the suite, but since you're not technically a guest, you have to clean up after yourself. [hands him a key] Otherwise, here is your room key, and enjoy your stay!
Why are you doing this for me?
She's here with some guy already? Kind of messed up.
Yeah, right?! Thank you.
Really, it's not a big deal. Go, go enjoy yourself!
Jansen.
Jansen. I mean, a thousand times, thank you! You know what I mean? I...
Go. Go enjoy yourself!
Sarah Marshall So... just so we're clear, and so that I can kinda hone in on your, your central thesis of the night, wade through all the bullshit, you're telling me you think you have the right to just **** anyone, anywhere, anytime? That's what you're saying?
Yes! That's right, there it is! Not so eloquently as you just put it, sweetheart, but... [spills his cranberry juice over the Tommy Bahama shirt Sarah bought him, and doesn't notice] Ultimately, that is... [notices the spill and laughs] Oh, no! Not the shirt! [laughing] Take my eyes, but not the shirt! Mmm, yeah, that's pretty much what I believe, Sarah.
Sarah Marshall When you're done making jokes, are you gonna get a napkin?!
D'you know what, I think I've improved it, actually! Against all odds, I think I deserve a design award!
Sarah Marshall Just please get some seltzer water.
Um, garcon, could we get some... [Matthew rushes over and tries vigorously to clean off Aldous' shirt, while Aldous tries to fend him off; Rachel laughs]
I saw it from farther away. Okay, just lean back for a sec. Let me...
No, it's all right, it's not there. You're very diligent, and I appreciate it, but, let go of the glass now, you're gonna have to walk away, bless you. [Matthew reluctantly backs off as a waitress brings dessert]
Oh, good! [they both laugh; Rachel feeds Peter some of her dessert.]
I love Hawaii.
Sarah Marshall Yeah, it's nice, but I think, for like a week, tops. Any more than that, and I know I'd go crazy, because I think that Hawaii is a place to escape for people who can't deal with the real world.
Yeah, you know, there's so few personal shoppers and pet therapists. Gosh, it's such a hard life. [she feeds Peter another bite of dessert, then grabs his face and kisses him.] I like living here.
Yeah, alright, that's enough!
Sarah Marshall What?
I made a mistake, coming here with you. You're still involved with 'im next door, in't ya?
Sarah Marshall Excuse me?
You should have seen yourself at dinner, Sarah. Then, we come back here, and you put on that... ghastly performance. I mean, I've heard that women fake orgasms, but I've never actually seen one. It really, deeply upset me.
Sarah Marshall You should have seen yourself at dinner! [mocking Aldous's accent] Oh, I'm Aldous Snow... bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. No, no drinks for me thanks... bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
That's a really reductive impression. If I wanted to see you act badly, I'd just watch your TV show. Which, obviously, I can't now, 'cause it's canceled.
Sarah Marshall Oh my God, you're such a prick! And, you know what?! Lemme tell you something about these tattoos, okay?! That is Buddhist, that is Nordic, that is Hindu, that's just gibberish. They are completely conflicting ideologies, and that does not make you a citizen of the world, it makes you full of shit!
Was that genuine, or did you fake that as well? Right, I'm gonna probably clear off, now. I'll have a little sleep for a couple of hours, but then, uh, I'm gonna probably go in the morning, okay?
Sarah Marshall I hate your music.
Yeah, well I **** the housekeeper the other day.
Sarah Marshall What's wrong with you?
Nothing is wrong with me, okay? I just don't feel right.
Sarah Marshall Okay, okay! I didn't mean... well, you know what? Did you drink today? Because, sometimes when you drink...
Excuse me. No, I haven't had anything to drink today. Maybe the problem is that you broke my heart into a million pieces and so, my **** doesn't want to be around you anymore, Okay?! EVER! 'Cause you know what I just realized, huh? You're the goddamn Devil! [walks past a wedding service on the lawn] Oh, yeah, wedding in Hawaii. Real original!
