Welcome to Turtle Bay. What can I do for you?
I'm checking in. My name's Bretter. Peter Bretter. But actually, I don't have a reservation. Just thought I'd... take my chances. [smiles weakly]
Oh! Wow. Bold! [she looks through the registrar] We are all booked up, but we do have the Kapua Suite available.
Um, okay. How much is that?
$6,000 a night.
Wow.
Beautiful views.
I can imagine... that's a little bit out of my price range. Sorry. [he looks around] That's a shame. This is such a beautiful... ([he jumps as he looks out the window and sees Sarah walking by] hotel.
Oh, yeah, it's Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene. [laughs] People are excited that she's here.
She's my ex-girlfriend. We broke up three weeks ago.
Oh. I'm sorry, sir.
Okay, like, this is fine, right?
Sir?
It's totally fine. [looks over his shoulder and sees Sarah entering the lobby] Okay, there she is. Did she see me?
Uh-huh.
Is she coming over here?
Yup.
I wish I wasn't wearing this **** shirt.
Fair enough. Why don't you try unbuttoning it? [Peter opens the top two buttons of the shirt and looks at her for approval] Button it back up.
Peter?
Hey. Hi.
What are you doing here?
I came here to murder you. [chuckles hysterically]
Really, what are you doing here?
I have been having a tough time, you know, back in L.A. Uh, but then, I came here, and here you are. I just think that's too crazy to...
[enters the lobby]
Hey there, little sex object! [slaps Sarah's rear and kisses her forehead, catching her off-guard] I've lost a shoe [holds up a black flip-flop] Have you seen it anywhere? It's like this one, but obviously it's, um opposite of um, excuse me, Misses? [to Rachel] I've lost a shoe. It's like this one. It's like, this one's fellow. Sort of like the exact opposite of this one, in fact.
Uh-huh?
Not like, an evil version, but just, you know, a shoe, like this, but for the other foot, otherwise I'd have to...
Aldous, this is Peter.
Hey! Alright, Peter! Nice to meet you, mate. [shakes hands with Peter and shoulder-bumps him] Aldous. Good to meet you, man.
My ex-boyfriend.
Oh, right! Hey, I'm Aldous Snow.
I know who you are. Yeah, you're very, very famous.
Yeah, I am, I am... for my sins. So, are you, um, staying here as well?
I'm not, as a matter...
I'm sorry. Excuse me, Mr. Bretter, Ms. Marshall. [to Peter] But, we were, um, able to book the Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights.
You were?
Marvelous!
Perfect! Perfect amount of time. Listen, if you want to have dinner with us one of those nights, you're very...
Aldous!
No. No, that's very gentlemanly of you, but, uh, you two enjoy your trip, and, uh, I'll be just fine on my own in my Kapua Suite.
Alright, Peter.
Have a good trip, Pete.
I like your shirt. It's colorful. [he and Sarah walk away] Bye, ta-ta! [to Sarah] I was wearing two shoes this morning, wasn't I?
Bye, now. [to Rachel] Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out like that, but I still can't afford that room.
Nobody can. It's for, like, Oprah, or like, Celine Dion. Really, it's not a big deal. So, you can stay in the suite, but since you're not technically a guest, you have to clean up after yourself. [hands him a key] Otherwise, here is your room key, and enjoy your stay!
Why are you doing this for me?
She's here with some guy already? Kind of messed up.
Yeah, right?! Thank you.
Really, it's not a big deal. Go, go enjoy yourself!
Jansen.
Jansen. I mean, a thousand times, thank you! You know what I mean? I...
Go. Go enjoy yourself!
