N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Rachel Jansen: Welcome to Turtle Bay. What can I do for you?
Peter Bretter: I'm checking in. My name's Bretter. Peter Bretter. But actually, I don't have a reservation. Just thought I'd... take my chances. [smiles weakly]
Rachel Jansen: Oh! Wow. Bold! [she looks through the registrar] We are all booked up, but we do have the Kapua Suite available.
Peter Bretter: Um, okay. How much is that?
Rachel Jansen: $6,000 a night.
Peter Bretter: Wow.
Rachel Jansen: Beautiful views.
Peter Bretter: I can imagine... that's a little bit out of my price range. Sorry. [he looks around] That's a shame. This is such a beautiful... ([he jumps as he looks out the window and sees Sarah walking by] hotel.
Rachel Jansen: Oh, yeah, it's Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene. [laughs] People are excited that she's here.
Peter Bretter: She's my ex-girlfriend. We broke up three weeks ago.
Rachel Jansen: Oh. I'm sorry, sir.
Peter Bretter: Okay, like, this is fine, right?
Rachel Jansen: Sir?
Peter Bretter: It's totally fine. [looks over his shoulder and sees Sarah entering the lobby] Okay, there she is. Did she see me?
Rachel Jansen: Uh-huh.
Peter Bretter: Is she coming over here?
Rachel Jansen: Yup.
Peter Bretter: I wish I wasn't wearing this ****ing shirt.
Rachel Jansen: Fair enough. Why don't you try unbuttoning it? [Peter opens the top two buttons of the shirt and looks at her for approval] Button it back up.
Sarah Marshall: Peter?
Peter Bretter: Hey. Hi.
Sarah Marshall: What are you doing here?
Peter Bretter: I came here to murder you. [chuckles hysterically]
Sarah: Really, what are you doing here?
Peter Brenner: I have been having a tough time, you know, back in L.A. Uh, but then, I came here, and here you are. I just think that's too crazy to...
Aldous Snow: [enters the lobby] Hey there, little sex object! [slaps Sarah's rear and kisses her forehead, catching her off-guard] I've lost a shoe [holds up a black flip-flop] Have you seen it anywhere? It's like this one, but obviously it's, um opposite of um, excuse me, Misses? [to Rachel] I've lost a shoe. It's like this one. It's like, this one's fellow. Sort of like the exact opposite of this one, in fact.
Rachel Jansen: Uh-huh?
Aldous Snow: Not like, an evil version, but just, you know, a shoe, like this, but for the other foot, otherwise I'd have to...
Sarah Marshall: Aldous, this is Peter.
Aldous Snow: Hey! Alright, Peter! Nice to meet you, mate. [shakes hands with Peter and shoulder-bumps him] Aldous. Good to meet you, man.
Sarah Marshall: My ex-boyfriend.
Aldous Snow: Oh, right! Hey, I'm Aldous Snow.
Peter Bretter: I know who you are. Yeah, you're very, very famous.
Aldous Snow: Yeah, I am, I am... for my sins. So, are you, um, staying here as well?
Peter Bretter: I'm not, as a matter...
Rachel Jansen: I'm sorry. Excuse me, Mr. Bretter, Ms. Marshall. [to Peter] But, we were, um, able to book the Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights.
Peter Bretter: You were?
Rachel Jansen: [smiles and nods] Yes, sir.
Peter Bretter: Marvelous!
Aldous Snow: Perfect! Perfect amount of time. Listen, if you want to have dinner with us one of those nights, you're very...
Sarah Marshall: Aldous!
Peter Bretter: No. No, that's very gentlemanly of you, but, uh, you two enjoy your trip, and, uh, I'll be just fine on my own in my Kapua Suite.
Aldous Snow: Alright, Peter.
Sarah Marshall: Have a good trip, Pete.
Aldous Snow: I like your shirt. It's colorful. [he and Sarah walk away] Bye, ta-ta! [to Sarah] I was wearing two shoes this morning, wasn't I?
Peter Bretter: Bye, now. [to Rachel] Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out like that, but I still can't afford that room.
Rachel Jansen: Nobody can. It's for, like, Oprah, or like, Celine Dion. Really, it's not a big deal. So, you can stay in the suite, but since you're not technically a guest, you have to clean up after yourself. [hands him a key] Otherwise, here is your room key, and enjoy your stay!
Peter Bretter: Why are you doing this for me?
Rachel Jansen: She's here with some guy already? Kind of messed up.
Peter Bretter: Yeah, right?! Thank you.
Rachel Jansen: Really, it's not a big deal. Go, go enjoy yourself!
Peter Bretter: [tries to read her nametag] Rachel...
Rachel Jansen: Jansen.
Peter Bretter: Jansen. I mean, a thousand times, thank you! You know what I mean? I...
Rachel Jansen: Go. Go enjoy yourself!

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