Nick
Gentlemen, this is a $500 dollar a plate dinner. Good night.
In case we want seconds.
Lloyd
Jim Carrey · 43 quotes
Harry
Jeff Daniels · 24 quotes
Joe
Mike Starr · 4 quotes
Nicholas
Charles Rocket · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Lloyd & Harry (14), Joe & Nicholas (3), Harry & Joe (2)
Dumb and Dumber quotes
Page 2 of 4Yeah!
Ing!
Yeah!
Bird!
Yeah!
Head Detective
Did you get a make on the vehicle?
Detective
Yes, sir. They're driving an '84...sheep dog.
Woman That's right.
They yours?
Woman ..Uh huh.
Both of them?
Woman Yeah.
Cool!
That's a lot of luggage for a little vacation.
Beth
Oh, I'm moving to Aspen. I've gotta get away from my boyfriend. He's such a klutz! Plus, my astrologer told me that I really should stay away from accident-prone guys. So, you know.
Well, you know I--
[rests hand on Beth's car's side mirror, which breaks] [hands mirror to her]
Here. It's a little loose.
Isn't this incredible? What more could two single guys ask for?
How about some food?
I swallowed a big June Bug while we were driving. I'm not really hungry.
"Host", "annual".
An..u..el
"Annual".
T...t...t-heh...t...
"The".
I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this, then our friendship isn't worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now.
You just tell me where to sign, bud.
Right on my ass right after ya kiss it!
Kiss it?! You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips! Right here! Mwah, Mwah, Mwah!!
Which one of you wants to get it first?
Over here. I was the one who got us into this whole mess. C'mon, shoot me.
No! Wait. Do me first. I stole your girl, Lloyd, I deserve it.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't. No, you don't!
Yes, I do! Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life! Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg.
What's going on, Harry? Your name is "Harry", isn't it?
Yeah, she grabbed down at the lobby, explained what was up, then they slapped this bullet proof vest on me and gave me a gun.
But what if he shot you in the face?
Beth
That's a risk we were willing to take.
Bikini contestant
[bus pulls up, a girl comes out]
Hey, guys. We're going on a national bikini tour and we're looking for two oil boys who can grease us up before each competition.
You are in luck...there's a town about three miles that way. I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there.
Bikini contestant
Okay..thanks..
[bus stops, and opens doors for them]
Y-you'll have to excuse my friend. He's a little slow...the town is back that way!
Anti-quitsies. [nudges Lloyd] You're it! Quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
You can't do that!
Can too!
Cannot, stamped it!
Can too, double stamped it, no erasies!
Cannot, triple stamped it, no erasies, touch blue make it true. [puts his hands over his ears and sings]
No! No! You can't triple stamp a double stamp! You can't triple stamp a double stamp, Lloyd! You can't triple stamp a double stamp! LLOYD! LLOYD! You c--
GUYS!!! ENOUGH!!
Beth
The number's 555-...
Beth
905-- Wait a minute, that's my old number. (laughs) That is so weird how your mind just goes blank!
Beth
Okay, look. Uh, you're gonna get pushy, forget about it!
(she drives away)
(about a passing woman at the preservation society)
I'd like to eat her liver with some "farver" beans and a nice bottle of chianti! [he and Harry imitate Hannibal Lecter]
[leg is on fire while asking for Beth Jordan's phone number]
FOR GOD'S SAKES, JUST GIMME THE DAMN NUMBER!!!!
AH! Harry! Your hands are freezing!
Find a happy place, find a happy place!
Good bye my looooove!