I'm not the type of person who will disrupt things just so I can shit comfortably.
Dante Hicks
Brian O'Halloran · 31 quotes
Randal Graves
Jeff Anderson · 31 quotes
Jay
Jason Mewes · 13 quotes
Customer
6 quotes
Veronica
Marilyn Ghigliotti · 4 quotes
Silent Bob
Kevin Smith · 1 quote
Most scenes together: Dante Hicks & Randal Graves (15), Dante Hicks & Customer (5), Dante Hicks & Jay (4)
Clerks quotes
Page 4 of 4I've had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit.
Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement.
My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when it was destroyed by the Rebels.
Oh, and Caitlin. Break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal.
Salsa Shark. We're gonna need a bigger boat! Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa, shark's in the salsa, our shark.
Shit, my mom's been **** a dead guy for 30 years. I call him Dad.
Some guy came into the store refusing to pay late fees. Said the store was closed for two hours yesterday. I tore up his membership.
This job would be great if it wasn't for the **** customers.
What the **** you looking at? I'll kick your **** ass! [to Silent Bob] Didn't that mother****er owe me like ten bucks? Tonight, we'll rip that ****er's head, take out his **** soul. Remind me next time he buys something to shit in the mother****er's bag.
What's up, baby? What's up, sluts?
Yeah. Silent Bob, you're one rude mother****er, you know that? But, you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal. [a horn beeps] Ew, you **** ****. I hate guys! I love women! [Willam approaches them] Whatchoo want, Grizzly Adams?
You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.
You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.