Princess, fancy meeting you here. What do you say we lose this crowd? Oh, me? You know, I... I wear many hats. I guess you'd have to call me a Renaissance ant.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
The precision. The order.
Princess Bala! Princess Bala! Hey. It's me. Remember Z from the bar? Princess Bala! Princess Bala! Princess...
Bala, you must encourage the troops. Wave.
Oh. She sees me. Excuse me, guys. I... Sorry. I just got a better offer. Could you excuse me?
[they all stand to halt]
Princess. Princess Bala!
Quiet there! Get back in rank.
Oh, yes, but I'm getting out soon. I got a trial membership.
Trial membership. [chuckling] That's a good one! Name's Barbatus.
[???]
Sacrifice. To some, it is just a word. To others, it is a code.
Jeez. I'm really bad at word games.
A soldier knows that the life of an individual ant doesn't matter. What matters is the colony. He's willing to live for the colony, to fight for the colony, to die for the colony.
At 0800 hours, we received word that the termite enemy has mobilized. We have no choice but to launch a preemptive strike. You are the queen's finest. I know you will all do you duty. I am proud to send you into battle.
Into... I'm sorry-I'm sorry, into battle?
Left face! Forward march!
Talk to me. You know, I think there's been a terrible mistake. [being shipped off to battle] You know, the truth is I just... I just came for the speech.
Don't worry, kid. I'll watch out for ya.
[singing]
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah!
A All
[singing]
We slaughter termites just for fun, hurrah, hurrah!
So these termites, they're, they're pushovers, right?
Not really, kid. They're five times our size, and they shoot acid from their foreheads.
Huh?! [stops marching, gaping in disbelief]
[gives Z a shove from behind]
Hey! Keep it movin', shorty!
[Later, as the ant army is marching towards the termites' nest]
So, what exactly does our platoon do? Are we gonna be serving beverages, or processing paperwork?
Our platoon has the best assignment of all. We're the first into battle.
[They marched up the termites' nest] [panicked]
Hey, wait a minute, let's not get...we're being too hasty here! These guys sound like bruisers! Just how were you figuring on beating them?!
Superior numbers, kid. Overwhelm their defenses, and kill their queen.
[stammering]
I, um...Hey, fellas, that's...you're being a little extreme, I feel. Why don't...Why don't we just try and influence their political process with campaign contributions?
[laughing]
I like you, kid. You got a sense of humor!
Come on! Let's kick some termite butt!
[???]
Something's not right.
AO Ant Officer
[One of the soldier ants looks up, the termite let out a roar and eats it. Many of termites storm out of Termite's hole]
ATTACK!!!
Barbatus, you saved my life.
Ah, don't get all sappy about it. [Barbatus attacks the termite, while the soldier ants catches up]
Hey, guys. Look out behind you! Hey... Hey, guys. Can somebody help me here? Can anybody... Hey.
Psst. Weaver. I figured it out. Weaver. Weaver.
What? What? [clears throat]
I got a great idea. You gotta switch places with me. Let me go to the inspection instead of you.
Weaver. The royal family will be there. This is the only way I can see her.
[getting out of bed]
Are you nuts? You want me to switch places with you? Do you know how much trouble you can get into for even talking about impersonating a soldier? You can get in trouble just for listening to someone talking about impersonating a soldier!
[Everyone who was listening in pretends to fall back asleep]
You have to help me. If I can't see her again, my life is just not worth living. Please, Weaver, please. Switch jobs with me just, you know, for a day. Think of all the things I've done for you.
[pauses]
Hm. I can't think of any.
Okay, so think of all the things that I'm gonna do for you!
[glances around, then leans in secretively]
Would I meet some worker girls?
Are you kidding? They always go after the new guy! It's like a sport for them! And believe me, they will definitely go for an adorable little insect like you.
Weaver, I... I have to see her again.
Z, what kind of chance do you have with a princess? I mean, she probably won't even remember you.
[sighs]
I... I know it sounds nuts, but I have to try.
[Cutter watches, as the Queen tells Mandible that she wants Bala back]
No more excuses, General. I want my daughter back. Frankly, I'm beginning to doubt your ability to handle this.
Believe me, Your Highness, we will spare no effort to bring her back. Princess Bala is essential to all our plans for the future.
So he kills himself a hundred termites, gets a few medals, then bada-ding, bada-bip, bags himself the princess.
He looks dead in the eye...
FA Female Ant
He said that to General Mandible?
Buddy. Hey, hey, buddy. You heard about the war hero named Z? Runs off the the princess, right? When they sent the guards after him, he just looks at 'em and boom! They burst into flames.
Z? [chuckling] You talkin' about Z? Hey, I know the guy. He's a friend of mine. I think your information...
Yeah. He's a worker. He used to dig around here.
A worker? That's impossible. A worker can't do anything, except work.
FA Female Ant
Yeah. It's not like we got a choice.
We do have a choice. Uh, I mean, look at Z. He decided he wanted something, and he went for it.
He's not alone. I used to be a soldier, and I switched places with him.
Wait a second. You're tellin' me, I don't have to be here?
FA Female Ant
We've got a choice?
The authorities don't want you to know, but we don't have to work on the tunnel any more.
It's the workers who control the means of production.
If Z don't dig, I don't dig.
People, what is this? An encounter group? Let's get back to work.
...on the tunnel anymore! This guy, Z, he's leadin' the revolution!
I'll get back to you.
[the worker ants chattering]
[first lines]
All my life, I've lived and worked in the big city, which now that I think of it, is kind of a problem since I always feel uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it, I-I have this fear of enclosed spaces. I-I-I, everything makes me feel trapped all the time. You know, I always tell myself, there's gotta be something better out there, but maybe I think too much. I-I-I think everything must go back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood. You know, my, my mother never had time for me. You know, when you're - when you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention. I mean, how's it possible? And I've always had these, these abandonment issues, which plagued me. My father was basically a drone like I've said, and, you know, the guy flew away when I was just a larva. And my job, don't get me started on, 'cause it really annoys me. I was not cut out to be a worker, I'll tell you right now. I-I-I feel physically inadequate. I, I, my whole life I've never, I've never been able to lift more than ten times my own body weight, And, and, when you get down to it, handling dirt is, you know, ew, is not my idea of a rewarding career. It's this whole gung-ho super-organism thing that, that, that I - you know, I can't get, I try but I don't get it. I mean, you know, I'm... What is it, I'm supposed to do everything for the colony, and, and what about my needs? What about me? I mean, I gotta believe there's someplace out there that's better than this! Otherwise, I'll just curl up in a larval position and weep! The whole system makes me feel... insignificant.
P Psychologist
[to Z]
Excellent. You’ve made a real breakthrough.
P Psychologist
Yes, Z. You are insignificant.
[The morning came and Bala woke up to see Z still sleeping. She heads off to see if there is any sign of Insectopia. She looked over the grass and notice something.]
Oh, my God! Z! Come here!
You were right. It really is here.
All right. All right! You're a genius.
[Z has been trying to feast on a sandwich at a picnic, only to be blocked by the clingfilm it's wrapped in]
Well, what's the problem?
There's some kind of force-field! [above them, two wasps, Chip and Muffy, arrive] Uh, excuse me? Excuse me? How...How do you get in?
[flying down to them]
Yes, yes, well, I'm afraid this is a private function.
M Muffy
Who are your friends, dear?
Crawling insects, poopsie.
M Muffy
Oh, the poor dears. [to Z and Bala, slowly] Uh, good...morning!
Darling, really? Greeting every insect that emerges out of the grass?
Pardon me? I guess you don't recognize me! [the wasps land in front of them] I've been travelling, and I'm all...schlumpy. I'm Princess Bala.
Oh! [to Muffy] It's even worse. They're Eurotrash!
M Muffy
Darling, they're poor, they're dirty, they're smelly. We have to help them. [leaning down, to Z and Bala] If you just wait right here, we'll get you a little something.
Ugh! Please, Muffy, not another crusade.
M Muffy
Chippy, we have a social obligation to the less fortunate. [Chip rolls his eyes] I know you laugh at my hobbies, but this is important to me!
[Z and Bala flinch as she stamps in frustration]
Hm. You have such a big heart. That's why you're my little cuddly-widdles...!
M Muffy
Oh, my big strong pheromone factory...!
[The wasps start kissing in an exaggerated manner]
Oh, brother. Suddenly I've lost my appetite. You know... I guess I had imagined Insectopia... I don't know, a little differently.
[A massive flyswatter came down on them, Z and Bala dodged in time in one of its holes as it lifted up in the air. Looking over, Bala gasped in horror when she and Z saw that the flyswatter had killed Muffy.]
Oh, Muffy! No! Oh, no! [starts crying]
Z, help me! Z! Don't let me... Don't let me go, Z. Get me out of here!
Bala! Whoa, this is not good. Whoa! Hi.
It looks like this is it, just when... I was starting to like you.
[the title card appears]
Ground floor.
A Ant
Uh, worker. Soldier. Worker.
Let's try it again. Firm grip. Swing hard. Back straight. Concentrate. Follow through.
Okay. I've got to keep a positive attitude. A good attitude, even though I'm utterly insignificant. [grabs an ax] I'm-I'm insignificant, um, but with attitude.
Oh, sorry, Z. I didn't see you.
Great, Azteca. It's working already. I'm so meaningless, I'm invisible. [he tries to get the ax out]
[laughing]
Now, you're getting it. [takes the ax out] After all, it's not about you. It's about us, the team. It's about this.
Uh, a giant hole in the ground?
Okay, people. Are we feeling good?
Great! Now, R-1734 through Z-7829, you guys are on wrecking ball.
All right, swing time! Let's get physical!
Now, remember, Azteca, "Be the ball." That's the main thing. Now, remember that. You know, got to be one with the ball.
Would you cut it out already? Jeez. I love my work. And you, well... You think too much. Come on, Z. Help us build a bigger, better colony. And, for crying out loud, try to be happy about it.
Sure, you know. [nervous chuckle] I mean, how could I possibly be unhappy being a piece of construction equipment?
Let the energy flow through you!
Grin and bear it. This is... This is for the colony. Ow! This is... This is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Did I happen to mention that heights make me nauseous?
Yes. Yes. I understand. I dropped the ball.
[Weaver is beaten up by soldiers in Mandible's office]
That's enough.
I ain't tellin' you nothin'.
Soldier, the princess is vital to the future of this colony. She must be returned to take their place as queen.
As for your friend, Z, why should I hurt him? [chuckling] He's not important. Now, soldier, we all know that one individual ant doesn't matter. Not you, not Cutter... not even her.
[Azteca is dragged in by more soldiers]
Azteca! [struggles, but is restrained]
Don't tell that tight-a** anything, Weaver!
I don't know where he is!
[He nods to the soldiers holding Azteca; one closes in on her, and she is heard crying out in pain]
Wait! Insectopia! I know it sounds crazy, but that's where he'd be going!
Soldier, you think this is a game? Insectopia does not exist.
As a matter of fact... it does.
I'll brief you on the coordinates. You're gonna bring the princess back. And as for Z... kill him.
[Azteca looks horrified]
But you said he didn't matter!
It's for the good of the colony. You made the right decision. Gentlemen, now you can see how dangerous individualism can be. It makes us vulnerable.
Take him back to the MegaTunnel. Put him on the front line. Dismissed.
L Ladybug
[Z and Bala sit with some other bugs around a campfire in Insectopia] [tasting a brown lump]
This stuff tastes like crap.
F Fly
Really? Let me try some. [tastes it] Hey, it is crap! Not bad. [continues eating] Somebody needs to feed that fire.
M Mosquito
Dude, I did it last time.
F Fly
Well, I'm not gonna get it. It's not my job.
L Ladybug
What about the new guy? He hasn't contributed yet.
[They observe Z and Bala talking by themselves] [about Barbatus]
And...you know, he just died in my arms like that. I...You know, I don't think he ever once, in his life, made his own choice.
[moved and saddened]
I never knew it was like that. I mean, up in the palace...Well, I guess we just let the General make all the decisions.
Let me ask you something - what made you come to the bar that night?
I guess I was looking for a little trouble.
Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but, uh, I don't want you spreading that around.
[chuckles]
You're pretty strange. You do know that, don't you?
Well, [clears throat] "strange" is...not exactly the word I would use, you know-
[smiling]
I like it. You're not like anyone else.
[stammering]
Actually, now that you mention it, I...there is a certain strangeness to me. I mean, it's a...you know, kind of a bizarre quality. Some have said "freak". But it's, uh, you know, complimentary.
F Fly
[Bala keeps smiling, leaning towards him, and they are about to kiss]
Hey, new guy! We need more wood.
[Bala shrugs disappointedly]
I'll be right back. Just hold that thought - whatever...whatever it is you were thinking. [to the other bugs, as he leaves] Hey, you ever wonder why they call you guys "pests"?
M Mosquito
What if, like, we're just these tiny things, and we're just, like, part of this whole other huge universe that's, like, so big we don't even know it exists?
L Ladybug
[chuckles]
Man, that is so deep.
Perfect. Nothing like a little manual labor on the most romantic night of my life.
Hi. I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop in. This is, uh, very bohemian.
B Bug
Aloha, dude. Welcome to Insec...
Sorry for interrupting. You see, our princess has, uh, gone missing, and we're just sick about it. She's about yea tall, fairly easy... [pause] ...on the eyes. Anybody seen her?
[All of the bugs pointed at Bala who tried to get away.]
Don't worry, Princess, you'll be back home soon.
Listen, Cutter, I'm... I'm not going back.
[sighs]
The thing is, Princess, I got orders.
Orders? Can't you just once think for yourself?
Well, that was very impressive. Where's Z?
Dead. Z's dead. You don't need to worry about him.
Z's dead. Well, he was an ant with ideas. Too bad for him. Princess, your colony needs you.
Cutter! Stop right now! Let go of me!
Bala! Stop, you... Oh, no. [muttering] What am I gonna do? All right, look. Let's be rational about this. You know, Bala and I, you know, she's a princess, and I'm a... I'm a soil-relocation engineer. So wha... You're no... Whew! On the other hand, uh, I've gotta go back for her.
I'll-I'll give you a lift. S-S-S... [falls to the ground] It's the least I can do. Besides, it's what my waddly-kittles would want. [he starts crying]
Uh, look... [clears throat] ...how about a cup of joe first?
Well, old boy, saddle up.
I think I saw a puddle of coffee over there. It... Whoa! Look out!
