Here boy. Take these bags up to my room, and here's a dime for yourself.
Mrs. Upjohn Oh, no, no, no. This is Mr. Whitmore, our business manager.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Here's a quarter!
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in A Day at the Races (1937): in 6 of its 26 quotes
Most scenes with: Dr. Hackenbush (5), Whitmore (3), Steinberg (2)
I'm going to someone who understands me, I'm going to Dr. Hackenbush!…Why, I didn't know there was a thing the matter with me until I met him.
Scenes with Mrs. Upjohn
5 scenes Mrs. Upjohn At the age of fifteen I got a job in a drugstore filling prescriptions.
Don't you have to be twenty-one to fill prescriptions?
Well, uh, that's for grown-ups. I just fill them for children.
No, no, Doctor. I mean, where did you get your training as a physician?
Oh, well, uh, to begin with I took four years at Vassar.
Mrs. Upjohn Vassar? But that's a girls' college.
I found that out the third year. I'd 've been there yet, but I went out for the swimming team.
The doctor seems reluctant to discuss his medical experiences.
Well, medically, my experiences have been most unexciting. Except during the flu epidemic-
Ah, and what happened?
I got the flu.
[Dr. Hackenbush hands a large pill to Mrs. Upjohn]
Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me.
Oh, you've taken them before.
Mrs. Upjohn Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?
You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby.
May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?
Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.
Mrs. Upjohn Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.
There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
You don't look like as though you ever met a healthy woman.
WHAT?!!
May I present to you, Dr. Leoplod X. Steinberg of Vienna. And this is Dr. Hackenbush.
Ah, doctor. I have a few questions I would like to ask you.
I would have a few questions I would like to ask you. Steinberg, what do you do with your old razorblades?
HUH!!?
I've been telling Dr. Steinberg about your unusual case.
Yes, and I would like to hear more about this ailment, "double blood pressure?" [looks scornfully at Hackenbush.]
Mrs. Upjohn Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.
Hah! There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
You don't look like as though you ever met a healthy woman.
WHAT?!!
