Margaret Dumont movie quotes

View Quote Firefly: Oh, uh, I suppose you would think me a sentimental old fluff, but, uh, would you mind giving me lock of your hair?
Mrs. Teasdale: A lock of my hair? Wh-why, I had no idea that you...
Firefly: I'm letting you off easy: I was going to ask for the whole wig.

View Quote Mrs. Teasdale: The government has been mismanaged. I will lend the money, but only on condition that His Excellency withdraw and place the government in new hands.

View Quote Mrs. Teasdale: I thought you left.
Chicolini (impersonating Firefly): Oh no. I don't leave.
Mrs. Teasdale: But I saw you with my own eyes.
Chicolini: Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?

View Quote I'm going to someone who understands me, I'm going to Dr. Hackenbush!…Why, I didn't know there was a thing the matter with me until I met him.

View Quote Hackenbush: Here boy. Take these bags up to my room, and here's a dime for yourself.
Mrs. Upjohn: Oh, no, no, no. This is Mr. Whitmore, our business manager.
Hackenbush: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Here's a quarter!

View Quote Mrs. Upjohn: Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.
Steinberg: There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
Hackenbush: You don't look like as though you ever met a healthy woman.
Steinberg: WHAT?!!

View Quote Driftwood: You see that spaghetti? Now, behind that spaghetti is none other than Herman Gottlieb, director of the New York Opera Company. Do you follow me?
Mrs. Claypool: Yes.
Driftwood: Well stop following me or I'll have you arrested!

View Quote Mrs. Claypool: I've been sitting right here since 7 o'clock.
Driftwood: Yes, with your back to me. When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

View Quote Gottlieb: If you pardon my saying so, Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Driftwood seems hardly the person to handle your business affairs?
Mrs. Claypool: I'm beginning to think the same thing.
Driftwood: Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Well, I made it. How soon does the curtain go up?
Gottlieb: The curtain, Mr. Driftwood, will go up again next season.
Mrs. Claypool: You've missed the entire opera.
Driftwood: Well, I only missed it by a few minutes. Then, I can go then, huh?
Gottlieb: Mrs. Claypool, was I right? Isn't Lassparri the greatest tenor that ever lived?
Mrs. Claypool: He's superb. What would you have to pay him?
Gottlieb: What's the difference? He must sail with us tomorrow no matter how much we pay him. Why, he wouldn't be worth $1,000 a night.
Driftwood: How much?
Gottlieb: $1,000 a night.
Driftwood: A thousand dollars a nacht? What does he do?
Gottlieb: What's he do? He sings!
Driftwood: So, you're willing to pay him $1,000 a night just by singing? Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. For a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.
Gottlieb: If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Claypool, I think I had better arrange to see Lassparri immediately. You are agreed-- $1,000 a night?
Mrs. Claypool: Just as you think.
Driftwood: [To himself] Thousand dollars a night? There must be something I have to get a piece of this? [To Gottlieb] Wait a minute! Why don't I sign Lassparri? I represent Mrs. Claypool.
Gottlieb: But, I represent the New York Opera Company. My boy? Will you give my card to signor Lassparri, please?