Kirstie Alley movie quotes

View Quote When he gets nervous, he gets completely honest. That is a major business liability.

View Quote Mollie: [opening pay envelope] Pink! Mine's pink today... how festive! [reads paper, faints]

View Quote Mollie: James.
James: What?
Mollie: Don't tell jokes.
James: I'm funny!
Mollie: You *are* funny, honey, in sort of a...
James: Corny.
Mollie: Corny, kind of funny.

View Quote [Alyssa and Diane arrive at the front steps of the church]
Alyssa: Aren't you coming?!
Diane: [stammers] Uh, no, I think I'm just gonna wait for Amanda out here.
Alyssa: Diane Barrows! Get your butt up here this... instant!
Diane: Okay. Okay. Maybe I'll just stand in the back and take a little look-see.

View Quote Clarice: This is all YOUR fault!
[she is about to slap Amanda (posing as Alyssa) but is stopped by Vincenzo]
Vincenzo: [furiously] Lady, if you touch that child, I'll POP you one, so help me God!
[Clarice storms off and sees the real Alyssa, then Amanda, and she does a double take]
Clarice: Oh, my God! There's two of them! It's a conspiracy! [laughs and smiles] Well, at least I'll get to hit one of you.
[she reaches over to slap Alyssa, but Diane stops her]
Diane: HEY! Back off, "Barbie". And by the way, you have a little, tiny bit of something right here on your teeth.
[she points to Clarice having lipstick on her teeth]
Clarice: I have never been more humiliated in my LIFE!
[she heads out the door, when...]
Alyssa: Wanna bet?
[she steps on the hem of Clarice's wedding gown, pulling her skirt down and exposing her underpants in front of the guests; they all laugh and take photographs]
Clarice: Oh, my God! [shrieks] Daddy! [runs out in humiliation] Oh, my God!

View Quote [after the macaroni spills on Roger's head, Diane laughs and snorts as quietly as she can]
Roger: Excuse me, ma'am. Did you just snort?
[Diane shakes her head, snorts, and laughs again]
Roger: I suppose you think this is funny? [picks up a butterknife w/a bit of butter on it] Well, maybe you'll get a little chuckle outta this.
Diane: You wouldn't dare.
[Roger flings the butter on her; Diane yelps]
Diane: FOOD FIGHT!!!
[a food fight breaks out]

View Quote Saavik: By the Book?
James T. Kirk: By the Book. Regulation 46A: "If communications are being monitored during battle..."
Saavik: "... no uncoded messages on an open frequency". (To Spock) You lied.
Spock: I exaggerated.

View Quote Saavik: What happens if Reliant fails to follow us into the nebula?
Spock: I think we can guarantee she'll follow us, Lieutenant. Remind me to explain to you the concept of the human ego. [This line in a deleted scene was restored for the Director's Edition, an extended cut of the film.]

View Quote James T. Kirk: Time.
Saavik: Three minutes, thirty seconds.
James T. Kirk: Distance from Reliant
Chekov: Four thousand kilometers.
Sulu: We're not going to make it, are we...
[Kirk looks at David Marcus; David shakes his head.]

View Quote Hello Father Donnagan, sidewalks? sidewalks? Iris, stop it, it's not his fault. The communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them.

View Quote Oh my God! My baby. That swan ate my baby. Baby, please, get out, we gotta go to State!

View Quote Gladys: You-betcha, Rebecca's ready. She's been singin' and dancin' since she was knee high to a pig's eye.
Lester: Yah-she's damn near as good as that little black fella - with the glass eye.
Gladys: Sammy Davis, Jr., honey.
Lester: Yeah, yeah, the Jew.
Becky: Nice one, Dad. He's dead.

View Quote Albert: Beth has finally agreed to a divorce. Oh Mollie, I am so glad you waited.
Albert pours champagne for Mollie. She puts down glass to show she is aged with gray hair
Mollie: I knew if I was patient, this day would come.

View Quote (After Mikey gets born, she sees married men looking at the baby ward congratulating their wives and passing out cigars celebrating their newborns) Look at all those daddies down there. They are making goofball faces and taking pictures. Well, you will not find your father here. I really messed things up for you. I do not want you to be upset, because I am going to go out there and find you a daddy, and this time I am going to be smart about it. I am not going to go for some handsome guy just because I am in love with him. You are the only thing that matters to me, and I am going to go out there and I am going to get you the best daddy there is.