Look Who's Talking 1989 quotes

Mollie

Look at all those daddies down there. They are making goofball faces and taking pictures. Well, you will not find your father here. I really messed things up for you. I do not want you to be upset, because I am going to go out there and find you a daddy, and this time I am going to be smart about it. I am not going to go for some handsome guy just because I am in love with him. You are the only thing that matters to me, and I am going to go out there and I am going to get you the best daddy there is.

Beth has finally agreed to a divorce. Oh Mollie, I am so glad you waited.
Albert pours champagne for Mollie. She puts down glass to show she is aged with gray hair

Mollie

I knew if I was patient, this day would come.

I will contact your husband for you.

I do not have a husband. I was artificially inseminated.

Are you a lesbo?
[Molly looks at James with anger and shock]

It says here that at the fourth month of pregnancy the baby's sexual organs become visible so depending on the gender it can identify the vulva or penis.

Hey, what is that that just came out? Is that like my hands? If so I wonder if that could go in my mouth?

Mollie's apartment. James is babysitting whilst Mollie is out. Doorbell rings; James answers the door and is greeted by Albert

May I help you?

I am here to see my son.

Sorry about that sir, I think you have the wrong apartment.

Is this Mollie and her son? I am the father.
James stammers for a moment, believing that Mollie was artifically inseminated, but goes along with it

So you say you are the boy's father?

Yes, and I would like to see my son! The law is on my side, buddy boy!

OK, if you are the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. When was he born?

July 3rd.

What is his favorite cereal?

I don't know.

Cheerios! What was his favorite stuffed animal, Fred or Barney? It's Fred right?

Uh yeah it's Fred.

No it's Barney, how many diapers does he go through in one day?
Albert stares at James like a dog staring at its reflection in water

About six! Who is his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson! Seriously, do you not think a father ought to know some of these things about his children?

OK, how much is she paying you? Five dollars an hour?
Albert produces $20 bill from his wallet and presents it to James

Here, go have some fun at the video arcade!

Do not give me that shit!
James and Albert start brawling

Hey, it is the Bear Show! This guy is great.