Mollie's apartment. James is babysitting whilst Mollie is out. Doorbell rings; James answers the door and is greeted by Albert

May I help you?

I am here to see my son.

Sorry about that sir, I think you have the wrong apartment.

Is this Mollie and her son? I am the father.
James stammers for a moment, believing that Mollie was artifically inseminated, but goes along with it

So you say you are the boy's father?

Yes, and I would like to see my son! The law is on my side, buddy boy!

OK, if you are the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. When was he born?

July 3rd.

What is his favorite cereal?

I don't know.

Cheerios! What was his favorite stuffed animal, Fred or Barney? It's Fred right?

Uh yeah it's Fred.

No it's Barney, how many diapers does he go through in one day?
Albert stares at James like a dog staring at its reflection in water

About six! Who is his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson! Seriously, do you not think a father ought to know some of these things about his children?

OK, how much is she paying you? Five dollars an hour?
Albert produces $20 bill from his wallet and presents it to James

Here, go have some fun at the video arcade!

Do not give me that shit!
James and Albert start brawling