John Lithgow movie quotes

View Quote [his first words] That's enough! He's ready to talk.

View Quote Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

View Quote Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him!

View Quote Home! Home is where you hang your hat! I feel so broke up... I want to go HOME!

View Quote History is'a made at night! Character is what you are in the dark!

View Quote It'a makes the ganglia TWITCH!

View Quote Don't bother to buckle up - you may not want to survive this.

View Quote Kill a few people, they call you a murderer. Kill a million and you're a conqueror.

View Quote Travers: Tucker and Walker! We're missing 3 bags.
Gabe Walker: What's in them?
Travers: None of your **** business!
Eric Qualen: Suits, socks, 100 million dollars - the usual stuff.

View Quote I'm standing up here before you today with a very troubled heart. You see, my friends... You see, my friends, I've always insisted on taking responsibility for your lives. But, I'm really like a first-time parent who makes mistakes and tries to learn from them. And like that parent I find myself at that moment when I have to decide. Do I hold on, or do I trust you to yourselves? Let go and hope that you've understood at least some of my lessons. If we don't start trusting our children how will they ever become trustworthy? I'm told that the senior class at the high school has got use of the warehouse in Bayson for the purpose of putting on a senior dance. Please join me to pray to the Lord... to guide them in their endeavors.

View Quote [first line] And he is testing us! Every, every day, our Lord is testing us. If he wasn't testing us, how would you account for the sorry state of our society? For the crimes that plague the big cities of this country? When he could sweep this pestilence from the face of the earth with one mighty gesture of his hand. If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the proliferation these days of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality? If our Lord wasn't testing us, why, he could take all these pornographic books and albums, and turn them into one big fiery cinder like that! But how would that make us stronger for him? One of these days, my Lord is gonna come to me and ask me for an explanation for the lives of each and every one of you. And what am I gonna tell him on that day? That I was busy? That I was tired? That I was bored?! No!! I can never let up! I welcome his test! I welcome this challenge from my Lord so that one day I can deliver all of you unto his hands, and when that day dawns, I don't wanna have to do any explaining! I don't want to be missing from your lives!

View Quote Reverend Moore: [discusses his daughter] We're losing her, Vi. Don't you see that?
Vi: No. I see you chasing after her and I see her running from you.
Reverend Moore: She's become so willful, so obstinate.
Vi: She's like her father. The two of you were so wonderful once. You had so much to talk about. I was almost jealous.
Reverend Moore: It's not as if we don't talk. It's just that sometimes people run out of things to say.
Vi: [pause] Shaw? It's 20 years now I've been a minister's wife. And I've been quiet, supportive, unobtrusive and after 20 years I still think you're a wonderful, a wonderful preacher. You can lift a congregation up so high they have to look down to see heaven. But it's the one to one where you need a little work.

View Quote B.Z.: When you've got a hit like we have, Patch, the people don't wanna wait a whole year, they're dying for a sequel! A sequel. That's it. We'll bring it out on March 25, and we'll call it... Christmas II!
Patch: Christmas II?

View Quote [Towzer has revealed the dangers of the candy canes]
Towzer: B.Z., this stuff can kill people!
B.Z.: Are you going soft on me?

View Quote Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?
B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.
Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.
B.Z.: Yes. I guess I was... no angel.

View Quote Dr. Walter Curnow: Look at it closely. Tell me I'm nuts. Are those cloud formations going toward the spot?
Dr. Floyd: You're not nuts.
Dr. Vasili Orlov: It looks like the thing is eating the planet.
Dr. Floyd: I think it is.
Dr. Walter Curnow: It's reproducing exactly like a virus!

View Quote [after the first conversation with HAL, who professes to having no memory of Bowman and Poole leaving the ship]
Dr. Vasili Orlov: What was that all about?
Dr. Chandra: I've erased all of HAL's memory from the moment the trouble started.
Dr. Vasili Orlov: The 9000 series uses holographic memories, so chronological erasures would not work.
Dr. Chandra: I made a tapeworm.
Dr. Walter Curnow: You made a what?
Dr. Chandra: It's a program that's fed into a system that will hunt down and destroy any desired memories.
Dr. Floyd: Wait... do you know why HAL did what he did?
Dr. Chandra: Yes. It wasn't his fault.
Dr. Floyd: Whose fault was it?
Dr. Chandra: Yours.
Dr. Floyd: Mine?
Dr. Chandra: Yours. In going through HAL's memory banks, I discovered his original orders. You wrote those orders. Discovery‍'‍s mission to Jupiter was already in the advanced planning stages when the first small Monolith was found on the Moon, and sent its signal towards Jupiter. By direct presidential order, the existence of that Monolith was kept secret.
Dr. Floyd: So?
Dr. Chandra: So, as the function of the command crew - Bowman and Poole - was to get Discovery to its destination, it was decided that they should not be informed. The investigative team was trained separately, and placed in hibernation before the voyage began. Since HAL was capable of operating Discovery without human assistance, it was decided that he should be programmed to complete the mission autonomously in the event the crew was incapacitated or killed. He was given full knowledge of the true objective... and instructed not to reveal anything to Bowman or Poole. He was instructed to lie.
Dr. Floyd: What are you talking about? I didn't authorize anyone to tell HAL about the Monolith!
Dr. Chandra: Directive is NSC 342/23, top secret, January 30, 2001.
Dr. Floyd: NSC... National Security Council, the White House.
Dr. Chandra: I don't care who it is. The situation was in conflict with the basic purpose of HAL's design: The accurate processing of information without distortion or concealment. He became trapped. The technical term is an H. Moebius loop, which can happen in advanced computers with autonomous goal-seeking programs.
Dr. Walter Curnow: The goddamn White House.
Dr. Floyd: I don't believe it.
Dr. Chandra: HAL was told to lie... by people who find it easy to lie. HAL doesn't know how, so he couldn't function. He became paranoid.
Dr. Floyd: Those sons of bitches. I didn't know. I didn't know!

View Quote Dr. Walter Curnow: You know what I miss? I miss green. Trees, and grass...I love green.
David Floyd: I'd love a hot dog.
Dr. Walter Curnow: The Astrodome. Good hot dogs.
Dr. Floyd: The Astrodome? You can't boil good hot dogs indoors...Yankee Stadium, September. Hot dogs have been boiling since the opening day in April. That's a hot dog.
Dr. Walter Curnow: Yellow mustard, or the darker one?
Dr. Floyd: Darker.
Dr. Walter Curnow [nodding]: It's important.
Dr. Floyd: Darker.
[a contemplative pause]
Dr. Walter Curnow: You really think we're gonna get out of this alive?
Dr. Floyd: We have a chance.
Dr. Walter Curnow: A man of few words. I like it.

View Quote "As for Caesar, kneel down, kneel down and wonder!"

View Quote It's okay. He didn't mean it.

View Quote Oh, he's a smart one, isn't he?

View Quote Jean-Claude: [bursts in the church, being bruised up] Madame! [falls on the floor then gets up] Our kidnapping plot has failed!
Coco LaBouche: [about Chas] Ignore zat unemployed fool!
Chas: [angrily] Coco, the wedding is off! You are not the woman I thought you were!
Angelica: [enters the church with Tommy, Phil, Lil, Dil, Kira, Kimi, Spike, and Fifi as Jean-Claude moves out of the way] Hey, lady! Looks like your plan to trick Mr. Yummysushi didn't work after all.
Coco LaBouche: Pretty flowers girls should be seen, not heard!
Mr. Yamaguchi: [rising from his seat] I would like to hear what the little one has to say.
Angelica: Okay, but listen good. 'Cause I'm tired of telling this story! That cuckoo lady told her boss she had a kid's heart in a jar, and she was gonna marry Mr. Chuckie's daddy just so she could be president!
Coco LaBouche: [enraged] Listen, you traitor--
Mr. Yamaguchi: Now, Ms. LaBouche. You are dismissed. [walks out of the church]
Coco LaBouche: Dismissed? But no one fires Coco LaBouche. Coco LaBouche fires others?! Coco LaBouche is EuroReptar! [Tommy, Phil, and Lil step on her gown] Off ze gown, you revolting carpet mice! [knocks them off]
All: [gasping]
Angelica: Listen, lady! Nobody messes with my dumb babies, except me!
[Coco scoffs and storms out of the church, but Angelica purposely steps on her dress and tears it.]
Jean-Claude: [in a sing-song voice] I see London, I see France, I see Coco's underpants.
Coco LaBouche: [covers her butt, and walks backwards out of the church] Well, take a picture. Zis is the last time you will see Coco on her underpants! [throws down her wedding hat, turns around, sees people taking pictures of Coco's underpants and runs away, screaming in despair]
Jean-Claude: [Spike attacks him as he stumbles out of the church] Bad dog! Bad dog! [Spike pulls his boot off and chases him] Coco, wait!
Stu: Go get him, Spike.

View Quote Angelica: Hi, Mr. Chuckie's dad's girlfriend. How's my float coming along?
Coco LaBouche: Fabulous, we're just waiting for the matching ponies.
Angelica: And I still get the float if Mr. Chuckie's dad marries a princess instead of you, right?
Coco LaBouche: What?! Why do you ask?
Angelica: 'Cause, um... well, um... The Finster kid is planning on getting a princess for a mom... and let's face it, lady. You're no princess!
Coco LaBouche: Not a princess? Well! If the tiara fits, wear it.
Jean-Claude: Ooh, I smell trouble.

View Quote [Later, in Paris, France like The Aristocats, The Hunchback of the Notre Dame and Gay Purr-ee.]
Coco LaBouche: [First Words; to actors on stage] What are you waiting for? Get off your derrieres and get the show on the road. Tout de suite! [to Jean-Claude] I love the sound of panicked scurrying feet in the morning. Don't you Jean-Claude?
Jean-Claude: [First Words] It moves me deeply, Madame.
[The mechanical Reptar starts moving as a woman runs away screaming]
Man: [singing] That Reptar's a nuisance. He's a thorn in our side.
Woman: [singing] The way things are going our village will be fried.
[Reptar breathes fire. He then short circuits and his head falls off]
Coco LaBouche: That Stu Pickles. I want that nincompoop here within 24 hours or another head will roll.
Jean-Claude: I'll take care of it personally. Kira! Madame LaBouche wants her pickles now!

View Quote [telling Garp he cannot go to his mother's feminist memorial] They're not going to allow any men. A man killed her! They're very upset!

View Quote Roberta: I mean, I had mine removed surgically under general anesthesia. But to have it bitten off in a Buick...
Jenny Fields: It's lust!

View Quote Randy: Hey you! Dildo. Is this the nut house where you're keeping my Laurel?
Roberta: Laurel's here but we're not exactly keeping her.
Randy: Bullshit, ya big ****.
Roberta: I'm not a ****. Is Laurel expecting you?
Randy: I'll kill you douchebag.
Roberta: That's all you men understand is violence.
Randy: Now look. I know what sort of freaks hang around here. It's a big lesbian scene.
[Garp walks onto the porch]
Randy: Ooooh, oooh, what are you the man of the house or the court eunuch. Laurel, you in there you bitch?!
Jenny Fields: Hello.
Randy: Oh, I know who you are. My Laurel's not your type sweetie.
Jenny Fields: Perhaps she's not your type either.
Randy: Listen, goddammit. If you don't get Laurel's ass out here I'm gonna...
[Randy is knocked down by Roberta]
Laurel: Randy!
Jenny Fields: Are you alright?
Laurel: Baby, you found me.
Randy: Oh, I don't think I can drive the ****in' car.
Laurel: That's alright. I can drive you just never let me. [to Jenny] I guess Randy needs me.
Randy: Easy!
[In pain as Laurel helps him to the car]
Laurel: Sorry baby, I'm sorry.
Randy: Crazy **** blind-sided me.

View Quote Ambulance Driver: So, you had a pretty big scare up there, huh?
John Valentine: [chuckles embarrassingly] Oh yeah!
Ambulance Driver: [smiles] You wanna see something really scary?

View Quote John Valentine: [just saw the weird creature on the wing of the plane] There's a man on the wing of this plane!
[Everyone looks out the windows on his side, but the creature has disappeared]
John Valentine: There was somebody out there. You gotta believe me!
Old Woman: I saw him. Green and slimy.
Old Man: Leave the poor man alone.
Old Woman: I'm only trying to help. You've got to humor them.
John Valentine: It was lightning. At first I thought it was animal. Some kind of bird or something. But it was a man! There were flames coming out of the engine, and a flash of smoke. Maybe it was a technician who was caught on the side of the plane when it took off. How could he survive out there? The air's so thin, the blast of the wind. It's so cold. [begins to think it was only his imagination and feels embarrassed] It's impossible, isn't it? Oh my god, I feel so stupid! [takes sedatives to sleep. Then laughs nervously] Can you imagine? A naked man crawling along the wing of an airplane at 35,000 feet?

View Quote Co-Pilot: Mr. Valentine, what do you think's wrong with this aircraft?
John Valentine: [tries to think of something else, since no one will believe him about the creature] There's an engine out.
Co-Pilot: Which one?
John Valentine: The one on the outside. Outboard No. 1. It's out, isn't it?
Co-Pilot: What makes you think that?
John Valentine: Never mind about that. It's true, isn't it?
Co-Pilot: Nine minutes ago, Outboard No. 1 was struck by lightning, there was a flame out, we lost it.
John Valentine: Lightning?
Co-Pilot: Lightning. Mr. Valentine, this aircraft has four engines. The possibility of us losing one, remaining three, is remote in the extremes.
John Valentine: You sure it was just lightning?
Co-Pilot: Absolutely. Listen, we're gonna be landing in about twenty minutes. There is the highest probability that we will survive this flight.
John Valentine: [laughs in fear and disbelief] Okay.