Zoolander quotes

101 total quotes

Derek Zoolander
Hansel
Mugatu
Multiple Characters

View Quote There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."

View Quote [Derek sees his reflection in a puddle] Who am I? [the reflection speaks back] I don't know.

View Quote [Talking about the files] They're in the computer?

View Quote Announcer: Oh, you hate to see something like that at an event like this; ugly protesters bothering beautiful people.

View Quote Maury Ballstein: You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb going on up there.

View Quote Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: ... you can read minds?

View Quote Derek: Look, you can't just come into people's lofts, wanting sex, then changing your mind, then telling them they've been at a day spa for a week...
Matilda: You have been at a day spa for a week.
Derek: So what?!

View Quote David Bowie: [a judge is needed for the "walk-off"] If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service.

View Quote You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

View Quote Maury Ballstein: I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

View Quote Maury Ballstein: Watch out Tushie squeeze!

View Quote Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.

View Quote Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me Derek. You're deader to me than your dead mother. I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man! [high-pitched cough] Mer-man!

View Quote Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, Ese? Don't you know I'm loco?

View Quote Katinka: I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.