Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby quotes

View Quote You have spilled my macchiato.

View Quote Dear Tiny, Infant, Jesus...

View Quote [Getting thrown out of Ricky's school] You people are in the wrong on this one! So in the wrong! This is egregious! You hear me? Egregious!

View Quote You're gonna break us like wild horses, ain't you?

View Quote [when asked about what French people are famous for] We invented democracy, existentialism, and the m?nage-à-trois.

View Quote What has America ever given the world, apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the Thighmaster?

View Quote Lucius: Now, Ricky, the doctor told us we should let you work it out on your own sweet time, but...Ricky, you can walk.
Ricky: What'd you just say?
Cal: He's tellin' you the truth, man.
Ricky: You sick...sons of bitches! You walk in here, on your two legs, all fat, and ****y, and lookin' at me in my chair, and you tell me it's all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons! Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented, and star athletes, and they have their legs taken away! I mean, I pray you know that pain and that hurt!
Lucius: DON'T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME, RICKY BOBBY! DON'T YOU PUT THAT ON US! YOU are NOT paralyzed!
Ricky: I am SO paralyzed!
Lucius: NO, NO!
Cal: Don't be rough on him, now.
Lucius: No, he needs to know!
Cal: Okay.
Lucius: He's always cryin' !
Cal: Alright, tough love it is, tough love. [to Ricky] Wake up, idiot!
Ricky: [pulls out a knife] You wanna know what I am?! You wanna see what my life is?!
Lucius: Don't do it!
Ricky: You wanna see what's goin' on here?!
Cal: Don't you stick that knife in your leg...
Ricky: [he sticks the knife in his leg] [pause] AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!

View Quote Abracadabra, homes.

View Quote Grandfather, can't we resolve this conflict without anger?

View Quote Hakuna Matata, bitches!

View Quote There's a god damn cougar in the car!

View Quote Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

View Quote Speed News Announcer: Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his prize-winning horses, who are also gay.

View Quote One of you Turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth

View Quote By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. It was shit!