Cranky Kong quotes from The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

View Quote Peach: You ready?
Peach: We are here to see the king.
[at Cranky Kong's throne]
Cranky Kong: What makes you think you're worthy of fighting alongside the greatest army in the world?
[All the guards tap their weapons to the ground]
Peach: Because we have heart. And with your strength, we can win.
Cranky Kong: Okay, fine.
Peach: That's it?
Cranky Kong: No, that's not it! The answer is No. Good bye!
Peach: If the Mushroom Kingdom falls, the Jungle Kingdom is next.
Mario: We're not leaving without your army.
[Beat]
Cranky Kong: Hahahahaha! Who is this guy? Oh, he makes me laugh. Hahahaha! All right, tough guy, you want my army so badly? Defeat my son in the Great Ring of Kong!
Peach: Give us a second. [to Mario] This is a really, really bad idea!
Mario: Well, do you have another way to save my brother?
Cranky Kong: [pops up from the floor] Are you two done whispering? It's a little rude.

View Quote [Donkey Kong enters the Great Ring of Kong; he dances to the DK Rap from "Donkey Kong 64", with the crowd cheering]
Donkey Kong: [raps along] I'm D.K.! I'm Donkey Kong!
Young Kong: Yeah! We love you!
Donkey Kong: Oh, yeah! [waves at his father] Hi, Dad! Hi!
Cranky Kong: No. No! Don't do that!
Donkey Kong: [dancing] Dad, wave back!
Cranky Kong: Enough with the showboating!
Donkey Kong: What do ya mean?! They like it! It's what they came here for! Dancin' pecs! [flexes his chest]
Cranky Kong: [to crowd] Okay, simmer down! [the crowd still cheers] I said, "Simmer down!" [the crowd stops cheering]
Diddy Kong: D.K.! D.K.! D.K.! D.K.!
Cranky Kong: That means you, Diddy Kong!
Diddy Kong: D.- [sits down] Sorry.
Cranky Kong: Now, since I want this fight to last more than five seconds, I put power-ups around the arena. You're welcome, Mario!
Donkey Kong: [smugly] I don't anything special to break every bone in your tiny body!

View Quote Peach: No! No, Mario!
Cranky Kong: [gasps] No! No! [The flying Clown Cars starts snatching him and the Kongs away] Get your clown claws off of me!
Bowser: [cackling] Goodbye, Mario.
Peach: We have to get home.
[From above Rainbow Road, Mario and Donkey Kong are falling]
Donkey Kong: [throws debris] HEY! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
Mario: My fault?! You're the one who-
Donkey Kong: STOP TALKING! I don't want the last thing I hear before I die to be your- [he and Mario crash into the ocean. Donkey Kong is knocked unconscious, but Mario manages to bring him up to the surface by pulling him by his tie. A large creature closes its jaws beneath them. They surface]
Donkey Kong: Mario... you saved my life.
Mario: Yeah, well...I won't tell anyone. But I don't know or remember what happened.
Donkey Kong: No, thank you. Good, please don't.
Mario: Okay. [hears bubbling sound from below] Uh...did you just...feel something?
[The Maw-Ray rises up out of the water behind them. Mario and Donkey Kong scream and start swimming away]
Donkey Kong: Swim!
[The Maw-Ray closes its jaws around them]

View Quote [Tanooki Mario swoops down and catches Luigi before he can drop into the lava]
Luigi: Huh?
Tanooki Mario: Lu!
Luigi: Mario?! [laughs]
Tanooki Mario: I told ya! See? As long as we're together, everything is gonna be okay!
Luigi: [laughs] Mario, why do you look like a bear? What is this?
[Donkey Kong frees Cranky Kong from his cage]
Cranky Kong: Ya did good, kid. Make your pecs dance, you deserve it.
Donkey Kong: No time now, definitely later.
[Bowser, trapped in ice, regains consciousness and sees Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, and Donkey Kong together; he breathes fire and sets his head free.]
Bowser: [bellowing] LAUNCH THE BOMBER BILL, AND DESTROY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!!!!
[Bomber Bill shoots out of the volcano-like opening in Bowser's Castle and speeds at Peach's Castle]
Peach: No...
[Tanooki Mario flies beside the Bomber Bill, trying to get its attention]
Tanooki Mario: Hey, hey...Hey, over here! [tries hitting the Bomber Bill's side, to no effect. He tries pushing the Bomber Bill's front, but ends up with his back against its tip.] You asked for it! [smacks the Bomber Bill's eye with his tail. The Bomber Bill stops in mid-air, bending the flagpole on top of Peach's Castle, glaring at him] Heh. Hello. [the Bomber Bill chases him through the Mushroom Kingdom. He crashes through a large mushroom] Ow! [gets the Bomber crashing into two more large mushrooms, getting some of the last one in his mouth before spitting it out] Really?! [spots the Warp Pipe that first brought him to the Mushroom Kingdom] Follow me! [starts leading the Bomber Bill to the Warp Pipe] Come on. [gets the Bomber Bill flying straight into the Warp Pipe's direction and speeds up] Little closer. [gets as close as possible to the Warp Pipe without going in it and flies upward at the last second; in slow motion] Mamma mia! [normal speed; Bomber Bill is sucked into the Warp Pipe with great force, but it explodes after floating into the Warp Zone, creating a visible disturbance on the outside of the Mushroom Kingdom's Warp Pipe] Huh?
[The Warp Pipe creates an explosion that throws Tanooki Mario against the wall of Bowser's Castle and powers him down. Mario falls before grabbing onto a ledge of Bowser's Castle. The Warp Pipe pulls Luigi, Peach, Toad, Bowser, and Donkey Kong in. Mario loses his grip on the ledge and is pulled after them]