Now, listen, normal kids would have been stoked to slack off, but not you guys, because you're not normal, you're special. And because I think you guys have the right attitude, I think it's time we started our new class project.
No. It's called... "Rock Band".
Is this a school project?
Yes. And it's a requirement. And it may sound easy, but nothing could be harder. It will test your head [points to his head], and your mind [points to his jaw], and your brain too [points to his forehead].
Will other schools be competing?
You could say that. You could say that every school in the state will be competing for the top prize.
Billy What's the prize?
A win will go on your permanent record. Hello Harvard, Yo?
Look, the first thing you do when you start a rock band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band to be. So who do you like? Blondie?
Who? No! Come on. What? You, Shortstop.
Billy Liza Minnelli?
What are you...? You guys! This project is called "Rock Band". I'm talking about bands that rock. Led Zeppelin. [the class gives him blank stares] Don't tell me you guys have never got the Led out. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant? Ring any bells? What about Sabbath? AC/DC? Motörhead?! OH, WHAT DO THEY TEACH IN THIS PLACE?!
If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at The Man, and right now I'm The Man. That's right, I'm The Man, and who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's gonna tell me off?
That's it, Freddy. That's it! Who can top him?
A Alicia
Get outta here, stupid.
You're a joke. You're the worst teacher I've ever had.
Summer, that is great. I like the delivery because I felt your anger.
You're a fat loser, and you have body odor.
All right. All right! Now is everyone nice and ticked off?
Good! Time to write a rock song! Now what makes you mad more than anything in the world? Billy?
Billy You.
Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on.
Billy You're tacky and I hate you.
Okay, you see me after class.
[Billy has just showed off his completed stage outfits for Katie and Freddy]
I dunno... They might be a little distracting...
Billy It's glitter-rock, and it's glam, and it's fabulous!
Billy, it's just not the right style.
Billy Style? You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself! Look at that bow tie!
Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie!
Billy You know what? I give up, they can just wear their uniforms.
[The kids have arrived to find No Vacancy, Dewey's old band, on stage]
Guys, you don't have to listen to those hacks! Come on, band meeting, right now, gather round. Alright. Frankie, how's security?
Gordon, what about the lights?
G Gordon
The light board's up in the balcony. I'll patch it up there.
Alright. Okay, now, Billy, how's beautification?
Billy Are you kidding?
Okay, listen up, you guys, we only have one song to let these guys know who we are...so I think we should play Zack's.
But why? I mean...really?
Yes! The thing is, you guys, I ain't that good. I'm not, I can admit it, but, dude, you're ten years old, you're already better than me, your song rocks harder, so let's play it! But hey, you know what? That's just one guy's opinion. This ain't my band, it's our band, we all have a say.
We haven't practiced that one as much. I mean, we might not win.
Hey. We didn't come here to win, we came to play one great show. And on Zack's song, you guys really rock. You know my vote, who else is with me?
(He lowers his hand into the middle of the circle, and the kids place theirs atop it)
Alright, let's pray. God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick butt. We are your humble servants, please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Now let's get out there and MELT SOME FACES!
