Rasputia Damn it, Norbit! How many times I gotta tell you, don't be messin' with my car seat?!
Played by Eddie Murphy 
Norbit (2007) · 38 quotes
Norbit (2007) · 38 quotes
Most-quoted character in Norbit (2007): in 19 of its 38 quotes
Most scenes with: Norbit (8), Kate Thomas (2), Mr. Wong (2)
I'ma show you how a bitch go down a slide!
More lines from Rasputia
9 quotes Rasputia Rasputia Bitch! That's MY wine cooler!
Rasputia [repeated line]
How YOU doin'!
Rasputia [Norbit singing "Tuesday" in the shower]
Say Tuesday again, and you ain't gonna see Wednesday!
Rasputia It's your birthday?! Oh you think it's your birthday, huh?
Rasputia That's what your stupid black ass get!
Rasputia KATE, BITCH!!
Rasputia KATE, FOOL!!
Rasputia Hell to the no!
Scenes with Rasputia
9 scenes
Narrator
But I never lost hope. I knew that someday I'd find another somebody to share my life with. All I had to do was just be patient.
One of the Bullies
'Cause we felt like it.
Both Bullies
What are you gonna do about it?
10-Year-Old Rasputia [The bullies pick on Norbit, by one of them simply shaking him on his side and the other beating him up. Suddenly, a 10-year-old Rasputia comes over and lifts the bullies up by the shirts] [to the bullies]
Leave him alone!
Both Bullies
Says who?
[Rasputia knocks the bullies' heads together and throws them off sideways]
Who are you?
10-Year-Old Rasputia Rasputia. What's your name?
Norbit.
10-Year-Old Rasputia "Norbit"? That's a stupid name.
Why'd you beat those boys up?
10-Year-Old Rasputia To protect you. You got a girlfriend, Nesbitt?
Uh, Norbit. No...
10-Year-Old Rasputia Well, you do now. Get your ass up and hold my hand.
Okay. [the source of Rasputia's catchphrase] How you doing?
Rasputia [After seeing Norbit, trying to get out of the house]
NORBIT!!
Oh! Good Morning, Rasputia! Good Morning! How are you this morning?
Rasputia Where the hell YOU going?!
Oh... ummmm. Nowhere special. I was just going to Raging Waters.
Rasputia Raging Waters?
Rasputia, we took vows. I'm your husband. RASPUTIA!! WE TOOK VOWS, AND YOU CHEATED ON ME!!
Rasputia IT NEVER HAPPENED!!
YES IT DID!! [Rasputia stops and gasps] AND THAT MAKES YOU... THE QUEEN OF WHORES!!!
Rasputia Aagh!! [Rasputia suddenly turns back and runs towards Norbit]
Rasputia If say Tuesday again, you ain't won't see Wednesday.
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Rice.
Rasputia "Mrs. Rice?!" My name ain't no damn Mrs. Rice!
Well, I just though that you were married to Norbit...
Rasputia Who the hell are you?
Ummm... Kate, I want you to meet my wife. This is Rasputia Latimore and Rasputia, this is Kate.
Nice to meet you!
Rasputia Hello.
Kate's an old friend of mine from the orphanage.
Latimore... as in "Latimore Construction?"
Rasputia Yeah, that's right. As in "Latimore Construction." That's right. Why?
Well, this is perfect. Because I came to see you guys about a renovation... of-
WHALE, HO!!
Rasputia Did somebody just call me a whale?
Yeah! And a ho!
Ohh... Lloyd, what am I gonna do...?
Lloyd the Dog
Kill the bitch!
Excuse me? What'd you say?
Lloyd the Dog
You heard me. Rub 'er out. Take 'er down. Ice the bitch!
Hey. Lloyd, you're talkin'.
Lloyd the Dog
She took my legs, Norbit. She took my legs! You know what it's like bein' a dog with no legs?! I can't raise one up to pee. And I can't even hump no more, Norbit! Humpin' was my THING!
Rasputia What is this, Norbit?
Rasputia Mm-mm.
Rasputia [Rasputia takes out a container of acid]
What's this?
Looks like the acid, we used down at the quarry.
Rasputia [stomps foot]
RIGHT! But this is Miss Pretty Little Thang's little face. And Norbit, if you ever see her again, if you ever *talk* to 'er again, if you ever to so much as to think about the girl again, this is what's gonna happen to 'er.
Rasputia [Rasputia pours the acid on the potato art of Kate]
How YOU doin'! You get the picture, Norbit?
[Scared, Norbit nods his head]
Deion Hughes [screaming]
THAT'S ENOUGH!! THAT'S ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! Stop the music!
Pope Sweet Jesus Hold on...
Deion Hughes [cuts Pope off]
Shut up! You two, shut up! That's it. This is husband-and-wife time. Now, let's go. Let's go. Husband-and-wife stuff.
Preacher [The ceremony resumes]
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...
I object!
Preacher [congregation gasps and murmurs] [frustrated]
Oh, for Christ sake!
Pope Sweet Jesus, Lord Have Mercy
[cheers]
Norbit!
Choir
[singing]
Norbit-t-t-t!
This wedding's a sham and I'm here to stop it.
Norbit, what are you doing?
I'm bein' a man for the first time in my life. Kate... Kate, I love you.
Rasputia [Rasputia, Big Jack, and Earl stormed into the church]
What the hell did you just say?
You heard what I said, strumpet! I love Kate! That right! I love you, Kate! And the last two weeks I spent with you have meant more to me than my whole entire miserable life with you, Rasputia! It's over! Norbit Albert Rice is no longer your bitch!
Rasputia [laughs when Kate doesn't believe Norbit's story on Deion, a corrupt goldigger/cheater]
Well, well, Norbit. You lose again! Once a loser, always a loser. Now, come on! Let's go!
[to Kate]
Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way about it, Kate. And that's why I took the liberty of inviting some of Deion's ex-wives down so maybe they can tell you for themselves. LADIES!
Ex-Wife #1
[Deion is shocked and frightened to see his three exes and their children walk in the church]
Hello, Antoine! I've been looking everywhere for you.
Children
Daddy!
Ex-Wife #2
Antoine? He told me his name was Luther!
Rasputia Who is that ho?
Ex-Wife #3
Luther? he told me he was gay!
Deion Hughes No, no, no. Y'all got me confused with my gay twin brother, Antoine Luther.
Ex-Wife #1
[angry]
You dead, goldigger!
Deion Hughes [the wives and children are going towards him]
I'm out!
Pope Sweet Jesus Look's like the wedding's off, bro.
Lord Have Mercy Church!
Big Jack God Dammit, Norbit!
Oh, snap!
