Cousin Eddie Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?
Most-quoted character in National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation (1997): in 13 of its 44 quotes
Most scenes with: Clark Griswold (2)
I'll have some of the yellow. And don't get cheap on me.
More lines from Cousin Eddie
10 quotes Cousin Eddie Cousin Eddie [to Wayne Newton]
Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you!
Cousin Eddie Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.
Cousin Eddie My garden's spittin' out 50-lb tomatoes.
Cousin Eddie Hey, kids. Round-up time!
Cousin Eddie Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark.
Cousin Eddie Ahh Uban Coffee you know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything, ice cream, mashed potatoes or just eat it straight out of the can for a quick pick me up.
Cousin Eddie It's a bust, Las Vegas fun police, hand over your chips. ha ha ha ha
Cousin Eddie Whoa man it is a blazer out there. You're lucky you got air conditioning in here {Casino} - like mother nature intended.
Cousin Eddie I gotta warn ya Clark – they don’t play the same games that they do at them regular casinos
Scenes with Cousin Eddie
2 scenes
Eddie, did anyone ever tell you, you're bad luck.
Eddie You know, those were my mother's dying words. Course, when you're covered in third degree burns and your leg's caught in a bear trap, you're bound to say weird things.
Clark. Are you feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?
Not right now, honey. They're teaching me baccarat.
Here, make the seats good.
Maitre d' [begins pouring coins into the Maitre d's hand]
No...gratuity...necessary, sir. Right this way.
Jilly Kid, you made me a lot of money tonight. Hey, you like gettin' massages?
By who?
Jilly [sarcastically]
By who...by me. Meet me in the spa tomorrow at 10 o'clock.
You need any help with the grill, Eddie?
Eddie No thanks, Clark. Don't have one. [throws chicken onto a rock]
Audrey OK, what happened to you last night?
[giggles]
Audrey [Audrey and Rusty sit down to breakfast]
Coffee
Me, too.
Make it three.
Kids!
Audrey Daddy, don't shout.
What do you say we each have an 'alone day', where each of us can go out and explore the city of Las Vegas in their own way.
Clark, I don't think that's such a good...
Thanks
Audrey See, ya.
Don't worry, honey. You're gonna love it. See ya.
Security
Have you seen a guy named Nick Papagiorgio?
Yes, he took my wallet. He's over there.
[at Club Areola] 'Security: Your usual table, Mr. Papagiorgio?
Not today, Jimmy.
You're in big trouble, mister.
Clark. Are we lost?
Yeah, dad. What block are we on?
Very funny, Rus.
I wanna gamble.
Russell. I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Gambling is a very serious business.
You need any help with the grill, Eddie?
Eddie No thanks, Clark. Don't have one. [throws chicken onto a rock] I'll get the tongs
Other characters in National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation
More Randy Quaid characters
Colonel Tom Parker
Cousin Eddie
Russell Casse
Cousin Eddie
Seaman Laurence M. "Larry" Meadows
Tim Daland
Mr. Briggs
Ishmael