Clark Griswold [singing]
Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time.
Most-quoted character in National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985): in 18 of its 21 quotes
Most scenes with: Rusty Griswold (7), Audrey Griswold (5), Ellen Griswold (3)
Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.
More lines from Clark Griswold
3 quotes Clark Griswold Clark Griswold Yeah country's eons old kids, that's centuries to you and me.
Clark Griswold [about Stonehenge]
Take a last look kids, At one of man's most curious creations, built to stand the test of time and the elements, the war, you name it, A thing of glory for a million in future generations to see, and we were here.
Scenes with Clark Griswold
14 scenes Clark [The Griswold's are checking out of the Royal Imperior Windsor Arms Hotel in London]
Don't I have to sign this? I think the Pig in a Poke people will take care of it.
Hotel Desk Clerk
It doesn't include telephone bill.
[Upon hearing this, Audrey gets shocked and slinks away.]
Oh, that's no problem. We just made a couple of local calls.
Hotel Desk Clerk
Okay, that'll be...(punches numbers in calculator) 253 American dollars.
Clark There must be some mistake.
How can that be?
Clark (reads bill)
Who the hell called Chicago?...........AUDREY!!
[cut to next scene with the family driving to Stonehenge. Audrey is crying.]
Audrey, don't cry. Your father didn't mean what he said.
Yes, he did!
Not really honey. He has nothing against Jack. He's not really going to cut off his balls. Aren't you Clark?...Clark?!
Clark Okay, I won't.
Stewardess
Can I get you anything to drink?
Clark Griswold Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.
Stewardess
Do you want that in the can?
Clark Griswold No, I'll have it right here.
Clark Griswold [In Germany; Clark peers down at a village in the hills and tears come to his eyes]
There it is, kids. My mother's land.
Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
Clark Griswold Shut up, Russ.
Clark Griswold Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
Clark Griswold Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.
What does she do?
Clark Griswold She queens. And she vacuums.
Look back there!
Clark Griswold Yeah, it's a hooker...
Look who she's with!
Clark Griswold [Clark looks back, Rusty is with the hooker, then Clark walks up and puts his hand on Rusty's shoulder]
Russell Griswold!
Oink-Oink my good man.
Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?
Clark Griswold That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.
[In England Rusty sees a man with a punk Mohawk haircut]
That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad!
Clark Griswold Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?
Clark Griswold There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.
The Bank of America.
Clark Griswold [In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house]
What are we looking for?
Sechs (pronounced sex) Dad.
Clark Griswold That'll do Audrey.
Dad that's German for six.
Clark Griswold Hello, my family and I were looking for sex.
German Neighbor
Schweinhund!
Clark Griswold [Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]
Get in.
What Happened?
Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?
Clark Griswold Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.
I'm not hungry. [shows that he received a letter from Jack and starts reading]
Jack (voiceover)
"Dear Audrey, I miss the shit out of you. But luckly, Debbie's been coming by to cheer me up."
THAT BITCH!
Is something wrong dear?
No, I'm fine.
Jack (voiceover)
"I think it's time to ask ourselves this question. Do you think this relationship is strong enough that we consider meeting other people? I think it is."
Clark Well it's nice to see you getting your appetite back.
Yeah, well who have I got to be thin for?
