(The car is stuck in a traffic circle)
Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.
Clark Griswold
Chevy Chase · 18 quotes
Rusty Griswold
Jason Lively · 7 quotes
Audrey Griswold
Dana Hill · 6 quotes
Ellen Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Clark Griswold & Rusty Griswold (7), Clark Griswold & Audrey Griswold (5), Clark Griswold & Ellen Griswold (3)
National Lampoon's European Vacation quotes
Page 1 of 2(calling Debbie on the phone in Rome)
Hello Debbie? Audrey! Listen you and I have a big score to settle and you know exactly what I mean! So if you want to save this last shred of friendship between you and me, you'll do me this favor! I want you to book me on a Pan-Am flight out of Rome into Chicago today!...Yeah, I'll hold!.............Bitch!
Bike Rider It's just a flesh wound, honestly!
Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.
What does she do?
She queens. And she vacuums.
Hello, my family and I were looking for sex.
German Neighbor
Schweinhund!
There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.
The Bank of America.
Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?
Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.
Look back there!
Yeah, it's a hooker...
Look who she's with!
[Clark looks back, Rusty is with the hooker, then Clark walks up and puts his hand on Rusty's shoulder]
Russell Griswold!
Oink-Oink my good man.
Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?
That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.
Stewardess
Can I get you anything to drink?
Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.
Stewardess
Do you want that in the can?
No, I'll have it right here.
I'm not hungry. [shows that he received a letter from Jack and starts reading]
Jack (voiceover)
"Dear Audrey, I miss the shit out of you. But luckly, Debbie's been coming by to cheer me up."
THAT BITCH!
Is something wrong dear?
No, I'm fine.
Jack (voiceover)
"I think it's time to ask ourselves this question. Do you think this relationship is strong enough that we consider meeting other people? I think it is."
Well it's nice to see you getting your appetite back.
Yeah, well who have I got to be thin for?
[The Griswold's are checking out of the Royal Imperior Windsor Arms Hotel in London]
Don't I have to sign this? I think the Pig in a Poke people will take care of it.
Hotel Desk Clerk
It doesn't include telephone bill.
[Upon hearing this, Audrey gets shocked and slinks away.]
Oh, that's no problem. We just made a couple of local calls.
Hotel Desk Clerk
Okay, that'll be...(punches numbers in calculator) 253 American dollars.
There must be some mistake.
How can that be?
[cut to next scene with the family driving to Stonehenge. Audrey is crying.]
Audrey, don't cry. Your father didn't mean what he said.
Yes, he did!
Not really honey. He has nothing against Jack. He's not really going to cut off his balls. Aren't you Clark?...Clark?!
Okay, I won't.
[In England Rusty sees a man with a punk Mohawk haircut]
That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad!
Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?
Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.