3rd most-quoted character in National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985): in 6 of its 21 quotes
Most scenes with: Clark Griswold (5), Rusty Griswold (2)
Scenes with Audrey Griswold
6 scenes
[The Griswold's are checking out of the Royal Imperior Windsor Arms Hotel in London]
Don't I have to sign this? I think the Pig in a Poke people will take care of it.
HD Hotel Desk Clerk
It doesn't include telephone bill.
[Upon hearing this, Audrey gets shocked and slinks away.]
Oh, that's no problem. We just made a couple of local calls.
HD Hotel Desk Clerk
Okay, that'll be...(punches numbers in calculator) 253 American dollars.
There must be some mistake.
(reads bill)
Who the hell called Chicago?...........AUDREY!!
[cut to next scene with the family driving to Stonehenge. Audrey is crying.]
Audrey, don't cry. Your father didn't mean what he said.
Audrey Yes, he did!
Not really honey. He has nothing against Jack. He's not really going to cut off his balls. Aren't you Clark?...Clark?!
Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswold What does she do?
She queens. And she vacuums.
[In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house]
What are we looking for?
Audrey Griswold Sechs (pronounced sex) Dad.
Dad that's German for six.
[Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]
Get in.
Audrey Griswold Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
[Audrey arrives at the breakfast table]
Hi Audrey, would you like something to eat?
Audrey I'm not hungry. [shows that he received a letter from Jack and starts reading]
J Jack
(voiceover)
"Dear Audrey, I miss the shit out of you. But luckly, Debbie's been coming by to cheer me up."
Audrey THAT BITCH!
Audrey No, I'm fine.
J Jack
(voiceover)
"I think it's time to ask ourselves this question. Do you think this relationship is strong enough that we consider meeting other people? I think it is."
Audrey (heartbroken)
Would you pass the croissants please? And the butters and jams?
Well it's nice to see you getting your appetite back.
Audrey Yeah, well who have I got to be thin for?
Audrey (calling Debbie on the phone in Rome)
Hello Debbie? Audrey! Listen you and I have a big score to settle and you know exactly what I mean! So if you want to save this last shred of friendship between you and me, you'll do me this favor! I want you to book me on a Pan-Am flight out of Rome into Chicago today!...Yeah, I'll hold!.............Bitch!
Other characters in National Lampoon's European Vacation
More Dana Hill characters
