Hop to! Hippity hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room immediately. SIT! [kids sit down]
[hits rod against left hand twice]
Bruce Bogtrotter. [students gasp as screen zooms to Bruce] Would little Brucey come up here, please?
Uh-oh. He lives on my block.
This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Cake. Chocolate cake. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate my personal snack! [its rod at Bruce] Do you deny it? Confess.
Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.
This one was mine, and it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world.
It is, is it? How can you be sure unless you have another piece? Sit down, Bog. [taunting him with the piece of cake] Here we go. Smells chocolatey, eh? Now, eat it.
I don't want any, thank you.
She wouldn't give him cake.
Girl It's poison.
[Bruce has eaten the piece of cake she gave him]
You look like you enjoyed that, Brucey.
But you'll hurt cook's feelings. Cookie. [Cookie uncovers the whole cake, from which a slice had been cut] She made this cake just for you to have on your very own. Her sweat and blood went into this cake. And you will not leave this platform until you have consumed the entire confection!
C Cookie
Entire confection. See ya at lunch.
C Cookie
Rotten kids. [walks away]
You wanted cake, you got cake. Now eat it!
[The children gasp]
Poor Brucey. He's going to puke. I can't look. Is he going to puke?
[stands up and encourages Bruce to finish the cake]
You can do it, Brucey!
[the other kids join in]
Yeah, you can do it!
S Students
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! [excited clamoring]
Silence! Stop! Silence! Stop!
YEEEEEAH! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
[Agatha puts her arms out, then breaks the plate on Bruce's head, making him burp and the kids laugh]
Shut up! The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Any children who object will go straight into the chokey together!
I need a car that is inexpensive, but reliable. Can you service me?
As a matter of speaking, yes. Welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.
Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. I warned you, sir. I want a tight car, because I'm on a tight ship.
My school is a model of discipline. "Use the rod, beat the child". That's my motto.
Do you have any brats for yourself?
Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.
They're all mistakes, children. Filthy and nasty things. I'm glad I never was one.
Uh-huh. Well, since you're an educator, I'm gonna make you a great deal.
Let's do business. Thank you. Enjoy it. [hands the Trunch the keys to the car]
Hey, you. You're going to school.
First thing tomorrow. [Matilda runs up to Harry and gives him a hug] Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. You'll get a real education at this place.
[on the phone]
Get back at Tiffany, when she was having that baby.
School was great. My teacher lets me do sixth grade work. Look. Algebra and geography,
[back on phone]
The thing with Valerie's brother. You're kidding? Hold on a minute. Can't you see I'm in the middle of an important phone call?
Well, you just asked me how school was.
Quiet! …Well, what else was she supposed to do? The baby wasn't his.
Well, it was really great.
No way. They've gotta be implants.
The principal is insane. She threw a girl over the fence by her hair.
It would change your life, too, if you waxed yours. I'm positive.
I have the most wonderful teacher.
Mine are driving me crazy. I'm telling you. Six hours a day at school is not enough.
It's nice to go out sometimes, isn't it?
Of course, I do. I took you to "The Flipper".
I don't remember any "The Flipper".
The fish joint. You found that comb in the bouillabaisse.
Oh, yeah. I liked that joint.
Waiter Bon jour. This way, please.
Harry, take your hat off.
This is a nice place. You can't wear a hat inside.
Harry, nobody cares what your hair looks like.
[trying desperately to get the hat off]
What's with this hat?
I can't get it off. I can't get it off.
Just a minute. I'm gonna get this hat off.
I think your head swelled up really bad.
You! You're such a baby. Stop it!
Fibers are fused to the head!
Fibers are fused... What is that supposed to mean?! [she pulls at the hat one last time, flying backwards and tumbling head over heels over a table also sending Harry into a waiter which sends 3 menus into the air. He then falls into a dessert cart which sends some dessert flying as another waiter catches the menus. A fourth menu hits the tines of a fork which lands in a cream tart in front of Matilda. Mikey gets splattered with another cream dessert. Matilda happily takes a forkful of the cream tart]
MO Man on the Radio
[As the background song "Little Bitty Pretty One" by Thurston Harris plays]
That was my personal favorite played especially for all you little bitty pretty ones moving and grooving on this sunny afternoon. Playing music to make you smile, so you'd better not touch that!
[in the garage searching for the stolen car parts]
Shouldn't we have a search warrant to do this?
Nah! This guy's dirty. Once we show this tape in court, Wormwood's goose is cooked. I'm sure that box is full of stolen car parts. [Matilda is using her powers to move the box as Bob moves the ladder to try and get the box]
You've been taping all week. How about letting me handle that camera for awhile?
Do you know how to use it? Do you know about the zoom and the white balance? Do you know how to adjust the eyepiece?
I can handle it. Besides, it's my turn.
Yeah. Your turn to drop it.
I won't drop it. Come on.
You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon.
Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady?
I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a constitutional law book I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or go to federal prison.
It's your father who's going to federal prison. And you know where you'll end up? In a federal orphanage. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage, the kind with food, teeny-weeny cockroaches. What do you say? [car starts rolling down the hill]
There's another crime in the making. Your car is about to run a stop sign. [She uses her powers to make the car roll down the hill. The agents run after the car as she removes the tape from the camera and throws it in the kitchen garbage]
So she bought a little time for her dad to come to his senses. But now, Matilda had bigger fish to fry, much bigger.
[light switch off at once] [laughing]
Hey, dip-face, where you are going?
Hey, dip-face, have a carrot.
[Mikey shoots a carrot with his spoon towards his sister. Michael gasps, Matilda uses her powers to make the carrot shoot back at her brother who chokes on it]
Chew your food! You're an animal!
[Matilda and Jenny walk past Trunchbull's house]
That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives.
A girl I know used to live in that house. [cut to a series of flashbacks] Her life was good and happy. When she was just 2 years old, her mother died. Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly.
Yes. And worst of all, when the girl was 5, her father died.
The police decided he killed himself.
Why would he do such a thing?
No one knows. [cut back to present] The end is happier. She found a small cottage. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom.
Do you know why I told you this?
You were born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you, but one day things are going to be very different. Shall we go inside and have tea and cookies?
[Matilda and Jenny arrive at the cottage]
Yes, please. This is the cottage from your story.
But then... [her eyes widen in realization] No.
Yes. Aunt Trunchbull. When I left my home Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind.
Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a China face. Liccy doll, I called her. Would you like some milk?
Yes, please. Why don't you run away?
I've often thought about it, but... I can't abandon my children. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all.
You're very brave, Miss Honey.
I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything.
Quite the contrary. All grown-ups get scared, just like children.
I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of.
[Matilda looks at the alarm clock on the side table. Then, she quietly sneaks over to the makeup salon. Matilda spots her father's hair tonic which is "Oil of Violets" and grabs it. Then, she looks around and sees her mother's peroxide bottle. She then pours out some of the hair tonic, but leaves enough in. She looks back to see if her parents are waking up, but they aren't. Matilda finishes placing some of the peroxide into the hair tonic. Just as she is screwing the cap back on, the alarm clock goes off. Harry turns it off and slowly gets up just as Matilda puts the hair tonic and the peroxide back. She looks to see if Harry notices her, but he didn't. Then, she crawls into another room unnoticed just as Harry begins to cough. Harry then walks from the bed and into the bathroom. Matilda sees if the coast is clear and then plans to make her escape, but Zinnia shoots up from the bed. Matilda makes a quiet gasp, but Zinnia still had her eye-mask on, and Matilda quietly sighs in relief and leaves the room, before Zinnia takes off her eye-mask. Harry grabs his bottle of hair tonic.]
Michael, come into my room!
[he sprinkles some hair tonic onto his scalp]
What?
My boy! Today's the day I take you to the shop. What do ya say?
I don't know. What do you say, Dad?
I say appearance is nine-tenths of the law. People don't buy a car. They buy me. Which is why I take such good care of myself. Well-oiled hair. Clean shaved. Snappy suit. Now run along and get ready for a big day of learning, kid. And it's gonna be a big day of learning, too. There's a sucker born every minute, and we're gonna take 'em for all they've got.
[Matilda puts peroxide in her father's hair tonic, bleaching his hair blonde]
OK, my boy! Heir to the throne. Today, we diddle the customer.
[Michael drops his cookie, astonished]
What's wrong with you? What are you looking at? Lovekins, where's my breakfast?
Here we are, my heartstrings. [sees her husband, shrieks, and throws two bowls of cereal in the air] Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair?
[confused]
My hair?! [goes to a mirror as Zinnia and Michael watch, he sees his hair dyed blonde. He screams, and falls sideways to the floor. Stifling a laugh, Matilda takes a drink]
[Miss Honey hides the doll behind her back]
I will be teaching your class today.
In the time it took Miss Honey to get very, very nervous, Matilda had formulated a plan.
She is really raving mad.
What is it your father used to call you? Hummingbird?
Bumblebee. I'm sure she knows the doll's missing.
And he called her Trunchbull?
No. I suppose he called her Agatha. Yeah.
And she called him Magnus? Right?
Yeah. Yes. …Maybe I could go back to the house and put the doll back while she's still at school. Oh, no. I can't do that.
Calm down, Miss Honey. Really. It's going to be okay. I promise.
Sweetheart, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house again.
I didn't. I was on the garage roof. I did it with my powers.
Okay. On the garage roof With your powers. I need to think. Let's see. Powers? [Matilda is making the water pitcher levitate; Miss honey keeps pushing it down]
Mm. Hmm. I think I've got them down. Watch this. [She makes it levitate once more as Miss Honey swipes her hand under it] No more Miss Nice Girl!
Get inside! Inside! Quickly, run! Run! Run! Get against the wall! Against that wall. Quickly! Don't make me wait. Water! And hold the newt. Join the ranks! Move! I am here to teach you all a lesson! Sometimes in life, horrible and unexplainable things happen. These things are a test of character, …and I have character! …Form a line across the room, quickly! Run! Run! Run! Don't keep me wait-ing! Fill this gap! I expect you're wondering what I'm talking about, hmm? Yes. A child came to my house. I don't know how. I don't know when. I don't know why. [Holding Matilda’s red hair ribbon]
No, you may not. But I know a child came. So, did you know it was illegal to enter someone's home without their permission?
S Students
Yes, Miss Trunchbull.
Stand up straight! Stomach in! Shoulders back!
[Nighttime, Zinnia watches a wrestling match on TV. Harry imitates to wrestle with Michael. Sitting in the arm-chair, Matilda does her homework]
Whack to the belly! A smack in the face. Another smack in the face! Burns is hurt! He's on the rope, ladies and gentlemen! [a doorbell is heard] Saved by the bell! [suddenly confused] The packages are at this hour?
Come here. [straightens her husband's hair with a hairbrush] Okay.
[Harry answers the door to Jenny]
Hello.
We don't give money, we don't like charities, and we don't buy raffle tickets. [goes to rudely shut the door in Jenny's face]
[stops him]
Mr. Wormwood, I'm Jennifer Honey, and I'm Matilda's teacher.
[Matilda looks up from doing her homework]
What has she done now? [to Matilda] You! Go to your room, right now! Right now! Beat it! [Matilda walks off; back to Jenny] Look, whatever it is, she's your problem now.
[stopping Harry from closing the door again]
No. There's no problem.
Then beat it. We're watching TV.
[stops Harry from closing the door once more, and glares at him]
Mr. Wormwood, if you think watching some rotten TV show is more important than your daughter, then maybe you shouldn't be a parent. Now, why don't you turn that darn thing off and listen to me?
[sighs in frustration and in defeat]
All right. Come on in. Let's get this over with. Mrs. Wormwood is not gonna like this. Come on, get it. [Jenny finally enters the house] Close the door.
Some teacher. Says she's gotta talk to you about Matilda.
[Harry shuts the TV off]
What did you do that for? He had Velasquez on the ropes.
I'm sure you're aware by now that Matilda has a brilliant mind.
Yeah. Right! Mikey, give me a beer.
[Michael throws Harry a beer]
Her math skills are simply extraordinary. She's reading material…
No thank you, dear. Material that I didn't see until my second year of college.
I really feel with private instruction that she'd be ready for college in just a few, short years.
Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent. I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books. I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband.… And you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You want Matilda to go to college? Ha, ha, ha ha...
College? I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Buncha hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha...
Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate.
Or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college too.
[Matilda is eavesdropping with a scared look on her face knowing she was the one who’s told Miss Honey about her dad’s shady business practices]
What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?
Nobody. …Oh, dear. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? No. …I'm sorry I burst in on you like this. Sorry.
We oughta sue her for interrupting our show.
Tell me about it! Why's he standing in the middle of the ring? [The fight is now over, Miss Honey leaves a copy of The Wind in the Willows by the front door]
He's standing in the middle of the ring 'cause it's over.
How do I know? You shut it off!
Was it my fault she came in the middle of the fight?
[Trunchbull is seen dragging her car to her house]
Uh, you! Uh... Uh! You! Uh... Crush the little weevil!
This is my room. That's my dad.
Magnus. I used to call him "King Magnus", and he called me "Bumblebee".
I don't think Magnus killed himself.
[on phone]
WORMWOOD!!!!!! [Matilda and Miss Honey gasp] You useless used-car salesman scum! I want you around here now with another car! Yes. I know what 'caveat emptor' means, you low-life liar! I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom, and I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BAZOOKA! When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! You what…? Haha! You...
[Screen pans to the box of chocolates, Trunchbull puts the lid back on then slides the lid under her nose to sniff it]
Come on.
Shouldn't we hide or something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go to the end of that hallway, down the stairs, and out the kitchen door. I'll distract her.
Who's in my house?! Hmph! Come on, fight like a man!
[gasps as she peeks out] [Matilda hears a rattling noise coming down the stairs leading into the kitchen and becomes nervous that the Trunch has caught her, Miss Honey comes down the stairs and Matilda breathes a sigh of relief]
Come on, come on. [they run into the basement and look for a way out, they try for the cellar doors, but the doors are locked with a chain and padlock] Come on, over there.
[in the basement wielding her shot put, looking for Miss Honey and Matilda]
Some rats are gonna die today. Huh? [hears a small window closing, runs to the cellar door and pulls the chain and padlock off, she then emerges from the basement swinging the shot put as Matilda ducks trying not to be seen, She swings the shot put at a statue and looks around, then turns around and screams in anger as she heads back into the house]
Feel my heart. Weren't you the most scared you've ever been in your whole life?
She shouldn't be allowed to treat people like that. Somebody's got to teach her a lesson. We'll wait until she leaves again, then we'll go get your doll.
Come here. Matilda, promise me you will never go back in that house again.
[We start with a close-up of a baby girl's face as the camera then pulls back from her. She's in a nursery room in a hospital] [first lines]
Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers or bakers or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making a Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. [a nurse picks up the baby girl and shows her to a man, who grumbles and walks off] Most parents believe that their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. Others take a less emotional approach.
[Outside, adults look at their newborns. The man, Harry Wormwood, walks beside his wife, Zinnia Wormwood]
What a waste of time.
And expensive! $9.25 for a bar of soap?
Well, I had to take a shower, Harry.
$5,000?! I'm not paying it! What are they gonna do, repossess the kid? [puts the baby girl in the back of his car. Looking back at her, a boy named Michael Wormwood, Harry and Zinna's son, waves a toy, making her anxious. Harry jerks the car forward, causing the baby girl to slide. He hits the gas pedal, causing the baby girl to slide back] There's no way out.
Make a U-turn. [as Harry makes different turns in every direction, the baby girl looks dizzy] Harry!
[The car speeds over speedbumps] [voice vibrating]
Harry!
[Later, in a neighborhood]
The Wormwood guy is back!
Harry and Zinnia Wormwood lived in a very nice neighborhood, in a very nice house. But they were not really very nice people.
[The Wormwoods arrive at their home]
Get outta the street, ya little dodos!
[As the family enter the house, the baby girl is still in the car]
The Wormwoods were so wrapped up in their own silly lives that they barely noticed that they had a daughter. Had they paid attention to her at all they'd have realized she was a rather extraordinary child.
[The baby girl is sitting on the night bar]
Oh, my gosh, Matilda, now look what you did!
[As Matilda writes her name on green baby food, Zinnia wipes it off]
You're supposed to eat the spinach. Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! [picks her up and puts her in the sink] Babies. You're better off raising tomatoes!
[Matilda, now older, wipes her face with a rag]
By the time she was 2 years old, Matilda had learned what most people learn in their early 30s: How to take care of herself. [Now 4 years old, Matilda gets dressed] As time went by, she developed a sense of style. Every morning, Matilda's older brother, Michael, went to school.
Her father went to work, selling used cars for unfair prices.
And her mother took off to play Bingo.
Soup's on the stove. Heat it up if you get hungry.
[As each of the Wormwoods leave, Matilda watches]
Matilda was left alone. That was how she liked it.
[As the background song "Send Me on My Way" by Rusted Root plays, she then turns to the can of soup and throws it away. Later, she cracks some eggs into a bowl, places some flour in and mixes them all together with a hand mixer. Next, she pours the mixture into pancake sizes on a pan on the stove. Once the sides of the pancakes are cooked, she flips them over. Later, she flips them out of the pan where they land on a plate. She lifts the plate up, places a flower in a small vase and begins to eat her nicely cooked pancakes whilst reading some magazines.]
By the time she was four, Matilda had read every magazine in the house. [The scene changes to the living room where the family are watching TV, Matilda walks up to her father] One night she got up her courage and asked her father for something she desperately wanted.
A book? What do you want a book for?
To read? Why would you wanna read when you got the television set sittin’ right in front of ya? There's nothin’ you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster.
[Michael, who is struggling to watch the TV because his sister is in his view, leans and drags her out of his view.]
Get out of the way!
[Matilda watches with displeasure as her family is not going to listen. Harry briefly belches.]
Matilda already knew that she was somewhat different from her family. She saw that whatever she needed in this world, she'd have to get herself.
[The scene changes where Matilda watches her family leave the house that morning.]
Bye!
Ciao! [to Matilda] There's fish fingers in the microwave. [leaves]
[Zinnia is talking to Bill and Bob]
So, he came home with 2,000 dollars cash, and he threw it up in the air, and we both swam in it like we were both on the "Million Dollar Sticky". Do you like that show?
That was the old days. Now we've got money in banks all over this planet, and does he give me a dime?
[Zinnia has been entertaining the FBI agents]
Matilda, this is Bob and Bill.
They're not cops, they're Ace powerboat salesmen.
[entering]
Baby-cakes, I'm starved.
[sees the agents and looks appalled]
Who are you? What is this, a hot tub party? Get the hell out of here! I slave all day, I come home, you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders!
You interested in timeshare?
[Harry slams the door on him]
You don't let me talk to people! I live in a cage, Harry! I need to talk to somebody besides those stupid kids!
Oh, yeah?! Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wade through a convention of male strippers!
Shut up and leave us alone!
Yell at you? I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! What do I have to do to gain respect around here?! I'm gonna give you a tanning like you've never had in your life! My word is my law! You understand?! Law! [Matilda magically closes the door]
No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice.
[A series of flashbacks are shown.]
You're a little cheat. (…You're a Wormwood. It's time you started acting like one! …) What are you, stupid?!? I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm big, you're little.
The apple never rots far from the tree.
I think there's something wrong with that girl.
I'm right, you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it.
Hey, dip face, here's your book. [Throws book at Matilda]
You're a Wormwood! It's time you started acting like one! (Time you started acting like one!)
