Nick
[on being stuck in the 80's]
How am I supposed to get a job?
More lines from Nick
4 quotes
Nick
It must be some kind of hot tub time machine... [deadpans into camera]
Nick
[upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years]
Mutha****a.
Nick
[pretending to speak Russian]
D-d-do svidanya! Do svidanya! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Priviet! Na zdorovie!
Scenes with Nick
4 scenes
Nick
[Nick is having sex with Tara in the bathtub in order to keep the events of the past unchanged. Nick is crying about cheating on his wife]
Courtney.
Tara
Tara.
Nick
Courtney.
Tara
Tara.
Nick
Courtney.
Tara
No, seriously, my name is Tara.
Nick
No, my wife, my wife.
Tara
You're married?
Nick
No, I'm not married. Not now, anyway. I will be. She's nine right now.
Lou
[On his knees]
Oh, wow, good for you.
Nick
[Eyes closed, crying]
I know, right?
Lou
It's like Gary Coleman's **** forearm. It's so black, so impossibly black. Oh God, I love you, buddy.
Nick
Don't say that!
Lou
I'm sorry, I do!
Nick
Excuse me, miss, what color is Michael Jackson?
Girl At Bar
...black?
Nick
AAHHH!
Lou
Woah, woah, woah. Webber ****in' Agnew? You took your wife's last name? You're a ****in' hyphenate?
Nick
Lots of dudes are doin' it. It's progressive.
Lou
No, no dudes are doing it. It's not progressive. [to Cashier] You look like a pretty progressive guy. Would you do that?
Cashier
Nooo.
Lou
[to Nick]
You see that? He wouldn't do it. And he's got a goatee!
