Jacob [about Blaine]
Hey look, it's the douchebag from Karate Kid 3.
Played by Clark Duke 
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) · 40 quotes
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) · 40 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Hot Tub Time Machine (2010): in 14 of its 40 quotes
Most scenes with: Lou (7), Adam (5)
Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?
More lines from Jacob
2 quotes Jacob Jacob [to Lou]
I knew I hated you for a reason! I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father!
Scenes with Jacob
11 scenesGoddamn it, who the **** are you texting with?
Jacob Just a friend.
Male or **** female?
Jacob For your information, I have had lots of girlfriends. Hot ones.
No, you have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.
Jacob [to Lou]
I have some adavain, but it's different.
Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob It's not a suppository!
It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!
Jacob [Referring to Lou]
Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me.
Yeah, but you had that coming.
One little change has a ripple effect, and it affects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami in like, you know, somewhere.
Jacob Yes, exactly. You step on the bug and the **** internet is never invented.
Oh, then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth.
Jacob Yeah, no. I was more concerned about bigger consequences, like not being born.
Yeah, no. I don't care about that.
It's the **** 80's, guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love!
Jacob That was the 60's, dipshit.
We had like Reagan and AIDS. Get the **** outta here, okay? Do the right thing, Violator!
Jacob I'm kinda right in the middle of a thing right now, but can I text you later?
Girl at Club
Can you what?
Jacob Are you online at all?
Girl at Club
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jacob How do I get a hold of you?
Girl at Club
You come find me.
Jacob That sounds... exhausting.
Jacob Nice to see you too, Lou.
[mimicking]
Nice to see you too, Lou. **** you, Jacob! You suck and you know it! You just ruined my **** weekend.
Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend?
Jacob What should I do out of the house this weekend, Uncle Adam?
Something in the course of reality. Get a job. Go to college.
Jacob That all sounds overrated.
Why do you waste your time with that Second Life bullshit? Look at you. You're still in jail. You were in jail last week.
Jacob Yeah, I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time".
Can't you be like a warrior or shaman or orc or some shit like that?
Every young man's fantasy is to have a three-way.
Jacob Yeah, not with another **** guy!
It's still a three-way!
I love you, Jacob!
Jacob **** you!
