[standing on the cliff, looking down at the water and all the college kids partying]
Look at this. Beers on ice, hot ladies everywhere, this is how we used to do it.
FG Frat Guy
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property, so you might wanna quit pervin' on our ladies and get back to your trailer homes.
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
KM Kurt McKenzie
I haven't been around this many arrogant white college kids since Eminem played Duke.
OF Other Frat Guy
At least we got into college, skinny Danny Glover.
[two fray guys perform a silly multi-step "handshake" that the Grown Ups disapprove of]
Hey, fellas, that was a good handshake, we've got a good one too, it goes like this.
KM Kurt McKenzie
[they shake hands in a traditional, polite manner]
How are you doing, sir?
Eric Lamonsoff Very good, nice to see you.
RF Roxanne Feder
[the Frat boys have arrived at the Feder's who are ready to get revenge]
Excuse me, why are you here? What's the matter?
FB Frat Boy Milo
[mocking Roxanne]
I tell you what is the matter. [frat boys laugh, speaking in normal accent] These old townies trashed our frat house! And nobody treats our good-times headquarters with disrespect! [all frat boys yell "Yeah!"]
BH Braden Higgins
They didn't do it. Me do it.
FB Frat Boy Milo
Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog!
FB Frat Boy Andy
We know they're trying to get back at us for making them do the naked plunge in our swimming hole.
DM Deanne McKenzie
Your swimming hole? I've been swimming at the quarry since I was eight years old.
FB Frat Boy Andy
Apparently, everybody in this crap town has been swimming there since they were eight years old. I guess nobody wants to leave this dump because they're too busy sucking! [all frat boys cheer, Andy and Milo do their handshake, but stop in the middle] We'll finish later.
FB Frat Boy Milo
You promise?
FB Frat Boy Andy
[touching Milo's cheek]
I promise.
DB Dickey Bailey
Hey, smart guy! Lenny Feder left this town, moved to Hollywood, made big bucks, probably more money than all you brainiacs put together ever will. But guess what? He came back here. 'Cause this beautiful town is his home. And it always will be his home. [looks at Lenny, who nods of approval, Dickey raises his beer, and takes a drink]
FB Frat Boy Milo
Well, that was just a moving testament to this community, bro! But we didn't come here to hear any lame speeches. We came here to kick some old, smelly ass! [frat boys cheer, Milo turns around and bends over, and Andy slaps his butt three times]
MH Marcus Higgins
We may be smelly.
DM Deanne McKenzie
We may have a penis. [she, Roxanne, and a drunk woman point at Beefcake Kitty]
Eric Lamonsoff But the only ones getting their ass kicked around here is gonna be you spoiled, privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags.
KM Kurt McKenzie
You hear that? Now let's get BUSY!! [everyone starts fighting]
