Dr. Peter Venkman quotes from Ghostbusters II (1989)

Dr. Peter Venkman

Hi, welcome back to World of the Psychic, I'm Peter Venkman. I'm chatting with my guest, author, lecturer and psychic, Milton Anglund. Milt, your new book is called "The End of the World." Now can you tell us when it's going to be or do we have to buy the book?

Well I predict that the world will end at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.

Venkman

This year?

Mm-hmm.

Venkman

Well that's cutting it a little bit close, isn't it? I mean, just from a sales point of view, I mean your book is just coming out, you're not gonna see any paperback sales for at least a year. It'll be at least another year before you know whether you've got that mini-series or movie of the week kind of possibilities. I mean just Devil's Advocate Milty! I mean shouldn't you have said: Hey the worlds going to end in 1992! Or better yet 1994!

This is not just some money-making scheme! Alright! I have a strong psychic belief that the world will end on New Year's Eve. [begins to cry]

Venkman

Well, for your sake, I hope you're right. Okay. But I think my other guest may disagree with you. Elaine, now you had another date in mind?

According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14, in the year 2016.

Venkman

Valentine's Day. Bummer. Where did you get your date, Elaine?

I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband, it was in the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink, and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that's where he told me about the end of the world.

Venkman

So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramus.

It might have been a room on the spacecraft made up to look like a room in the Holiday Inn. I can't be sure about that, Peter.

Venkman

Of course not! And that is the whole problem with aliens; is you just can't trust them. Occasionally you meet a nice one; Starman, E.T., but usually they turn out to be some kind of big lizard. That's all the time we've got for this week on 'World of the Psychic'. Next week though . . . hairless pets. [holds up a hairless cat] Weird. Until then, this is Peter Venkman saying [puts a finger to his temple and sends out a thought to his viewers; laughs] See you then!

Dr. Peter Venkman

Do.

Re.

Dr. Egon Spengler

Egon. [Venkman and Stantz stare at him and he smiles back]

Dr. Egon Spengler

Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.

Dr. Peter Venkman

105 years old? He hung in there, didn't he?

Dr. Raymond Stantz

He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.

Venkman

Ouch.

Winston Zeddemore

Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?

Spengler

No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.

Venkman

Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?

Stantz

And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were "Death is but a door, time is but a window: I'll be back."

Dr. Egon Spengler

We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?

Ray Stantz

I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet!

Egon

I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.

Dr. Peter Venkman

Don't worry, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!

Sorry, my fault!

Judge Wexler: [wailing] Ohhh...

Dr. Peter Venkman

You're next, Bubbles.

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I rescind the order! Case dismissed!

Hooray, we won the case!

Now do something!

Dr. Raymond Stantz

We've been experimenting with the plasm we found in the subway tunnel. Careful.

Dr. Peter Venkman

Should I get spoons?

Dr. Egon Spengler

Don't bother. [Ray sets the container on the table for everyone to see] Watch this. Go ahead, Ray.

Stantz

You! You worthless piece of slime!

Stantz

You ignorant, disgusting blob! [slime reacts]

Spengler

You're nothing but an unstable, short-chain molecule! [slime reacts]

Stantz

You foul, obnoxious muck! [slime reacts]

Spengler

You have a weak electrochemical bond! [slime reacts]

Stantz

I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!

Winston Zeddemore

Whoa, whoa!

Stantz

You're a – You just –

Zeddemore

Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Venkman

This is what you do with your spare time?

Stantz

Peter, this is an incredible breakthrough. I mean, what a discovery! A psychoreactive substance! Whatever this stuff is, it responds to human emotional states.

Venkman

Mood slime. [to slime affectionately] Oh, baby...

Zeddemore

You mean this stuff actually feeds on bad vibes?

Stantz

Like a cop in a donut factory.

Spengler

We've been running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive reaction.

Venkman

What kind of tests?

Stantz

Well, we sing to it, and, uh, we talk to it, and say...supportive, nurturing things to it...

Venkman

You're not sleeping with it, are you, Ray?

Venkman

Oh, you!

Zeddemore

It's always the quiet ones.

Venkman

You hound!

Dr. Peter Venkman

Lenny. Big man.

The Ghostbusters.

Winston Zeddemore

Mr. Mayor? [holds out his hand, wanting to shake his hand]

What is this? A slumber party?

Dr. Ray Stantz

Well, that's why we wanted to see you.

Listen, I don't want to hear anything about it. You got two minutes. Make it good.

Dr. Ray Stantz

Well, first of all, Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and you'll be happy to know that almost fifty percent of us voted for you in the last election.

I appreciate that.

Dr. Peter Venkman

I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.

Dr. Ray Stantz

Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proportions is building up beneath the city.

Psycho-what?

Dr. Egon Spengler

Psychomagnatheric.

Dr. Peter Venkman

Big word, big word.

Dr. Egon Spengler

Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with *explosive* supernormal potential.

Can somebody speak English here?

Winston Zeddemore

Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this sludge. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.

Jack Hardemeyer

This is insane! Do we really have to listen to this?

Dr. Peter Venkman

Can't you stop your lips from flapping for 2 little minutes? [to the Mayor] Lenny, have you been out on the street lately, do you know weird it is out there? We've taken our own headcount, there seems to be 3 *million* completely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area.

Jack Hardemeyer

Please.

Peter Venkman

I beg your pardon, 3 million and one.

Jack Hardemeyer

Hey.

Dr. Ray Stantz

And what fudgy brain here doesn't realize, that if we don't do something fast this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.

Jack Hardemeyer

Yeah, right.

What do you want me to do, go on television and tell 3 million people they have to be nice to each other? [begins to walk off] Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right. Your two minutes are up. Good night, gentlemen. [leaves]

Winston Zeddemore

Hey fellas! You wanna take a look at this?

Dr. Ray Stantz

Wow!

Dr. Egon Spengler

Early Renaissance, I think. Raphael, or Piero della Francesca?

Dr. Peter Venkman

No, I believe it's one of the Fettuccinis.
[The painting now shows the Ghostbusters wearing togas and clustered around Oscar.]