Oh my god! The Scoleri brothers!
Dr. Raymond Stantz
Friends of yours?
I tried 'em for murder! Gave 'em the chair! You've gotta do something!
Dr. Egon Spengler
Why don't you just tell them you don't believe in ghosts?
Dr. Peter Venkman
Do.
Re.
Dr. Egon Spengler
Egon. [Venkman and Stantz stare at him and he smiles back]
Dr. Egon Spengler
Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
Dr. Peter Venkman
105 years old? He hung in there, didn't he?
Dr. Raymond Stantz
He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.
Venkman
Ouch.
Winston Zeddemore
Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
Spengler
No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Venkman
Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
Stantz
And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were "Death is but a door, time is but a window: I'll be back."
Dr. Egon Spengler
We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?
Ray Stantz
I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet!
Egon
I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
Dr. Peter Venkman
Don't worry, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
Sorry, my fault!
Now we become one.
'Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and ne'er brought to mind...'
Where's that singing coming from?
Winston Zeddemore
The people outside!
'If auld aquaintance be forgot, remember Auld Lang Syne!'
Dr. Egon Spengler
He's weakening! The singing is neutralizing the slime!
I can move!
Spengler
He's back in the painting!
Dr. Raymond Stantz
We've been experimenting with the plasm we found in the subway tunnel. Careful.
Dr. Peter Venkman
Should I get spoons?
Dr. Egon Spengler
Don't bother. [Ray sets the container on the table for everyone to see] Watch this. Go ahead, Ray.
Stantz
You! You worthless piece of slime!
Stantz
You ignorant, disgusting blob! [slime reacts]
Spengler
You're nothing but an unstable, short-chain molecule! [slime reacts]
Stantz
You foul, obnoxious muck! [slime reacts]
Spengler
You have a weak electrochemical bond! [slime reacts]
Stantz
I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!
Winston Zeddemore
Whoa, whoa!
Stantz
You're a – You just –
Zeddemore
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Venkman
This is what you do with your spare time?
Stantz
Peter, this is an incredible breakthrough. I mean, what a discovery! A psychoreactive substance! Whatever this stuff is, it responds to human emotional states.
Venkman
Mood slime. [to slime affectionately] Oh, baby...
Zeddemore
You mean this stuff actually feeds on bad vibes?
Stantz
Like a cop in a donut factory.
Spengler
We've been running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive reaction.
Venkman
What kind of tests?
Stantz
Well, we sing to it, and, uh, we talk to it, and say...supportive, nurturing things to it...
Venkman
You're not sleeping with it, are you, Ray?
Venkman
Oh, you!
Zeddemore
It's always the quiet ones.
Venkman
You hound!
Dr. Peter Venkman
Lenny. Big man.
The Ghostbusters.
Winston Zeddemore
Mr. Mayor? [holds out his hand, wanting to shake his hand]
What is this? A slumber party?
Dr. Ray Stantz
Well, that's why we wanted to see you.
Listen, I don't want to hear anything about it. You got two minutes. Make it good.
Dr. Ray Stantz
Well, first of all, Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and you'll be happy to know that almost fifty percent of us voted for you in the last election.
I appreciate that.
Dr. Peter Venkman
I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.
Dr. Ray Stantz
Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proportions is building up beneath the city.
Psycho-what?
Dr. Egon Spengler
Psychomagnatheric.
Dr. Peter Venkman
Big word, big word.
Dr. Egon Spengler
Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with *explosive* supernormal potential.
Can somebody speak English here?
Winston Zeddemore
Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this sludge. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.
Jack Hardemeyer
This is insane! Do we really have to listen to this?
Dr. Peter Venkman
Can't you stop your lips from flapping for 2 little minutes? [to the Mayor] Lenny, have you been out on the street lately, do you know weird it is out there? We've taken our own headcount, there seems to be 3 *million* completely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area.
Jack Hardemeyer
Please.
Peter Venkman
I beg your pardon, 3 million and one.
Jack Hardemeyer
Hey.
Dr. Ray Stantz
And what fudgy brain here doesn't realize, that if we don't do something fast this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.
Jack Hardemeyer
Yeah, right.
What do you want me to do, go on television and tell 3 million people they have to be nice to each other? [begins to walk off] Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right. Your two minutes are up. Good night, gentlemen. [leaves]
Winston Zeddemore
Hey fellas! You wanna take a look at this?
Dr. Ray Stantz
Wow!
Dr. Egon Spengler
Early Renaissance, I think. Raphael, or Piero della Francesca?
Dr. Peter Venkman
No, I believe it's one of the Fettuccinis.
[The painting now shows the Ghostbusters wearing togas and clustered around Oscar.]
