[After Peter has gone to visit Dana in her state of being the Gatekeeper]
She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers.
Played by Harold Ramis 
Ghostbusters (1984) · 73 quotes
Ghostbusters (1984) · 73 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Ghostbusters (1984): in 14 of its 73 quotes
Most scenes with: Dr. Peter Venkman (11), Janine Melnitz (11), Dr. Ray Stantz (5)
Scenes with Dr. Egon Spengler
14 scenes...human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!
What did you do, Ray?!
Hey Egon, you know, this reminds me of the time that you tried to drill a hole through your head.
Dr. Egon Spengler That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
Are you guys serious about this catching a ghost?
Dr. Egon Spengler I'm always serious.
(pause)
Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you. (Takes out a candy bar and hands it to Egon) Here...you've...you've earned it.
(Ray chuckles at both of them)
Man at Elevator
What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?
[chuckles]
No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelfth [the twelfth floor].
Man at Elevator
That's gotta be some cockroach.
Bite your head off, man.
Man at Elevator
I'll take the next one.
(Inside the elevator.)
You it' just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Dr. Egon Spengler I blame myself.
So do I.
Well, no sense worrying about it now.
Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
Yeah. Well, let's get ready. Switch me on.
(Egon turns on Ray's pack. It emits a strange sound and begins humming. Egon backs away from it.)
Dr. Peter Venkman [nervously staring down Slimer]: Come in... Ray.
Dr. Rawmond Stantz
Venkman? I saw it, I saw it, I saw it!!
It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.
Ugly little spud, isn't he?
I think he can hear you, Ray.
Don't move, it won't hurt you.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
VENKMAN!!! Venkman!! Venkman!! Pete! Are you okay?
He slimed me.
That's GREAT!!! ACTUAL PHYSICAL CONTACT!!! Can you move?
Dr. Egon Spengler [over walkie-talkie]
Ray, come in please.
I feel so funky!
Dr. Egon Spengler There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
What?
Dr. Egon Spengler Don't cross the streams.
Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler It would be bad.
I'm a little fuzzy on the whole "good/bad" thing here. What do you mean, "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Total protonic reversal!
That's bad. Okay. All right, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
Would you like some coffee, Mr. Tully?
Dr. Egon Spengler Yes, have some.
Yes, have some!
Walter Peck
Captain, I want these men arrested! They're in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is the direct result of it!
Dr. Egon Spengler YOUR MOTHER!!!
Hey, wait a minute. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hold it! Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city?!
Dr. Egon Spengler Sumerian, not Babylonian.
Yeah. Big difference.
No offense, guys, but I've gotta get my own lawyer.
This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor
What do you mean, "biblical"?
What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - MASS HYSTERIA!
Mayor
Enough! I get the point! And what if you're wrong?
If we're wrong, then nothing happens. We'll go to jail. Peacefully. Quietly. We'll enjoy it. But if we're right, and we can stop this thing... Lenny... you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
[while seeing Stay-Puft walk towards the building and the Ghostbusters]
Well, that's something you don't see every day.
I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something that I loved from my childhood. Something that would never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay-Puft.
Nice thinking, Ray.
We used to roast Stay-Puft Marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Waconda.
Dr. Peter Venkman [looks at Egon]: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left?
Dr. Egon Spengler Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
Don't look directly at the trap!
Dr. Egon Spengler I looked at the trap, Ray!
