Gord Brody Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Played by Tom Green 
Freddy Got Fingered (2001) · 34 quotes
Freddy Got Fingered (2001) · 34 quotes
Most-quoted character in Freddy Got Fingered (2001): in 27 of its 34 quotes
Most scenes with: Gord (9), Jim (5), Betty (2)
Eh, hmm. Investments. Eh, I do investments. Consulting in the business, eh, business, eh, analysing, stocks, eh, NASDAQ, eh, Dow Jones, Wall Street Journal, eh, New York City, CNN.
More lines from Gord Brody
16 quotes Gord Brody Gord Brody Japan four!
Gord Brody He's a molester... He's a CHIIIILD molester!!!
Gord Brody You're **** fired, Bob! Clean out your locker at the club, Bob. You're **** FIRED!
Gord Brody You can't hurt me, not with my cheese helmet!
Gord Brody I see the problem here! There's a baby in your BOOOODDDYYY!
Gord Brody Get inside the animals!
Gord Brody [singing]
Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausages? Daddy, would you like some sausage? Sausages? Sausages?
Gord Brody Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer!
[narrating his cartoon, "Zebras In America"]
Gord Brody You'll love how simple misunderstandings get us into a whole heap of trouble. It's crazy. Listen to my hooves! Listen to my hooves! Listen to them. Cloppety-clop. Listen to them. Cloppety-clop.
I'm a 28 year old man! I can eat a chicken sandwich if i want!
Gord Brody I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, the backwards man. I can walk backwards fast as you can. I can walk backwards fast as you can
Gord Brody Hey, can I borrow 50 bucks or something? For supplies, for, like, pens or Liquid Paper or a Trapper Keeper or one of those little compasses that you put the pencil in and you can make a circle, a perfect circle.
Gord Brody I hope I get a jobby, Freddy. I got my fingers crossed!
Gord Brody THIS IS FANCY RESTAURANT! THIS IS A FANCY RESTAURANT!!
Gord Brody I wanna try the horsey! I wanna try the horsey!
Scenes with Gord Brody
10 scenes Gord Brody He's driving me insane.
Freddy Brody
No, no, you're driving him insane. You're older than me and you still live at home. I have a job, you know? I pay my own way.
Gord Brody You work at a bank. Am I suppose to be dazzled?
Freddy Brody
Well at least I don't live at home.
Gord Brody Yeah, you live in a tiny shithole and you can't afford breakfast so you come here and you eat for free.
Where are you going?
Bye bye daddy! Bye bye daddy! I'm going to get a jobeee!!!
You must think I'm a damn idiot!
Ummm... yes?
You can't have complaints there's not enough cheese in the cheese sandwiches. I mean, if there's no cheese in a cheese sandwich, that's basically just two slices of bread, and if word of that were to get out, well, I could lose my job! I could lose all of this! And we wouldn't want that, would we? Would we?! WOULD WE! HUH?!
Customer What the **** am I gonna do with that?
Well, you could stick it in your bum-bum.
Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya? [turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet]
Don't tell me you're so goddamn stupid you can't even tell the difference between hot and cold. [opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in scuba gear]
What the **** is going on?
I'm underwater! Look! I found a treasure.
A treasure? That's soap on a rope!
SHHHHHH!!! I'm pretending it's a treasure!
Get outta my goddamn scuba gear you imbecile!
I'm gonna make you so proud.
Make your daddy proud.
You're gonna be so proud. Proud? Proud.
[pulls out of parking space and honks at a pedestrian] Get the **** outta the way!
If I were you, I would go out. I'd have sex.
Julie Oh, honey. No.
If I were you, I'd go out. I'd have sex with strange men. I'd have sex with basketball players. I'd have sex with Greeks. Men from Greece. I'd satisfy my urges. I'd satisfy my sexual desires.
I'm gonna give you a blowjob.
Oh Betty. It's only our first date. Don't you think we should go do some romantic stuff first? Maybe take a walk in the park or something?
No, I can't walk.
Maybe I can take you for a roll.
Wait a minute, you're crippled.
Dad..
Wha--what?
Dad..
You got a problem with my legs?
No, you've got a problem with your legs. Either that or you're just lazy.
[Gord is building his skateboard ramp early in the morning]
Shh! Gord! Gord! Don't hammer 'em so loud. Geez, it's late, you're gonna wake up your parents.
You're right. I should probably use the electric nail gun.
Yeah.
What?
Oh, boys. Will you two ****s stop making so **** much noise? We're sleeping.
Goddamnit! IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING! Stop the **** hammering!
Mr. Malloy Gordy! I got a kid over here, okay! Gord, are you guys almost done over there?
Yeah, nearly, Mr. Malloy.
Andy Hey, Gord. Can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
Sure, Andy. Any time.
[Jim screams out of rage then goes back into the house]
Does your dad got, like, bowel problems?
Therapist
Jim, do you hear what Gord is saying here?
I hear him boohooing about his broken wheelie-board ramp. Is that what you mean?
Therapist
Yes, Jim. But do you understand what he's saying? Sounds to me like he just wants you to accept him as your son. To approve of him and what he wants to do with his life. How does that make you feel?
First of all, I don't give a rat's ass what this punk wants. As long as he lives in my house and eats my food, I make the rules.
I wanna eat chicken burgers!
Julie [Jim stands up]
Jim, don't hurt my baby. Now, sit down.
You're an embarrassment to my family.
Oh, yeah? Well, at least I don't touch Freddy.
Say what?
Therapist
Excuse me?
Yeah, he touches my little brother. He takes him behind the furnace and touches him.
See the insanity I put up with?
He's embarrassed.
Julie Jim!
He touches my little brother. He...he...[looks at his fingers] he fingers him.
You're a goddamn liar.
Julie Jim! Do you touch him? Do you finger our boy?
Don't you get wacky on me. What the **** are we talking about?
Therapist
Mr. Brody, this is very serious. Based on what I've heard here today, I am required by law to notify the authorities.
You hear that, Dad? You're gonna pay! He's a molester. He's a chiiild molester!
