Where are you going?
Gord
Bye bye daddy! Bye bye daddy! I'm going to get a jobeee!!!
You must think I'm a damn idiot!
Gord
Ummm... yes?
2nd most-quoted character in Freddy Got Fingered (2001): in 10 of its 34 quotes
Most scenes with: Gord Brody (9), Jim (5), Betty (2)
Japan 4!
Scenes with Gord
9 scenes
Gord
You can't have complaints there's not enough cheese in the cheese sandwiches. I mean, if there's no cheese in a cheese sandwich, that's basically just two slices of bread, and if word of that were to get out, well, I could lose my job! I could lose all of this! And we wouldn't want that, would we? Would we?! WOULD WE! HUH?!
Customer
What the **** am I gonna do with that?
Gord
Well, you could stick it in your bum-bum.
Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya? [turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet]
Don't tell me you're so goddamn stupid you can't even tell the difference between hot and cold. [opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in scuba gear]
What the **** is going on?
Gord
I'm underwater! Look! I found a treasure.
A treasure? That's soap on a rope!
Gord
SHHHHHH!!! I'm pretending it's a treasure!
Get outta my goddamn scuba gear you imbecile!
Gord
I'm gonna make you so proud.
Make your daddy proud.
Gord
You're gonna be so proud. Proud? Proud.
[pulls out of parking space and honks at a pedestrian] Get the **** outta the way!
Gord
If I were you, I would go out. I'd have sex.
Julie
Oh, honey. No.
Gord
If I were you, I'd go out. I'd have sex with strange men. I'd have sex with basketball players. I'd have sex with Greeks. Men from Greece. I'd satisfy my urges. I'd satisfy my sexual desires.
I'm gonna give you a blowjob.
Gord
Oh Betty. It's only our first date. Don't you think we should go do some romantic stuff first? Maybe take a walk in the park or something?
No, I can't walk.
Gord
Maybe I can take you for a roll.
Wait a minute, you're crippled.
Gord
Dad..
Wha--what?
Gord
Dad..
You got a problem with my legs?
No, you've got a problem with your legs. Either that or you're just lazy.
[Gord is building his skateboard ramp early in the morning]
Shh! Gord! Gord! Don't hammer 'em so loud. Geez, it's late, you're gonna wake up your parents.
Gord
You're right. I should probably use the electric nail gun.
Yeah.
Gord
What?
Oh, boys. Will you two ****s stop making so **** much noise? We're sleeping.
Goddamnit! IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING! Stop the **** hammering!
Mr. Malloy
Gordy! I got a kid over here, okay! Gord, are you guys almost done over there?
Gord
Yeah, nearly, Mr. Malloy.
Andy
Hey, Gord. Can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
Gord
Sure, Andy. Any time.
[Jim screams out of rage then goes back into the house]
Does your dad got, like, bowel problems?
Therapist
Jim, do you hear what Gord is saying here?
I hear him boohooing about his broken wheelie-board ramp. Is that what you mean?
Therapist
Yes, Jim. But do you understand what he's saying? Sounds to me like he just wants you to accept him as your son. To approve of him and what he wants to do with his life. How does that make you feel?
First of all, I don't give a rat's ass what this punk wants. As long as he lives in my house and eats my food, I make the rules.
Gord
I wanna eat chicken burgers!
Julie
[Jim stands up]
Jim, don't hurt my baby. Now, sit down.
You're an embarrassment to my family.
Gord
Oh, yeah? Well, at least I don't touch Freddy.
Say what?
Therapist
Excuse me?
Gord
Yeah, he touches my little brother. He takes him behind the furnace and touches him.
See the insanity I put up with?
Gord
He's embarrassed.
Julie
Jim!
Gord
He touches my little brother. He...he...[looks at his fingers] he fingers him.
You're a goddamn liar.
Julie
Jim! Do you touch him? Do you finger our boy?
Don't you get wacky on me. What the **** are we talking about?
Therapist
Mr. Brody, this is very serious. Based on what I've heard here today, I am required by law to notify the authorities.
Gord
You hear that, Dad? You're gonna pay! He's a molester. He's a chiiild molester!
