Criswell Can your heart stand the true facts of the shocking story... of Edward D. Wood, Junior? [from opening monologue]
Played by Jeffrey Jones 
Ed Wood (1994) · 56 quotes
Ed Wood (1994) · 56 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Ed Wood (1994): in 5 of its 56 quotes
Scenes with Criswell
5 scenes Criswell Criswell And who may you be?
Edward D. Wood, Junior.
Criswell Ah — the director of "Glen or Glenda".
How'd you know?
Criswell I am Criswell. I know all.
[To secure funding from a Baptist church, Ed's cast and crew must get baptized in a swimming pool.] [whispering]
Why couldn't we do this in the church?
Criswell [whispering]
Because Brother Tor wouldn't fit in the sacred tub.
Criswell Greeting my friends, we are all interested in the future because that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. [narrating for Plan 9 from Outer Space]
Criswell And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future! [narrating for Plan 9 from Outer Space]
