Phil Dearly I was a battered husband.
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in Drowning Mona (2000): in 6 of its 27 quotes
A line from Phil DearlyDon't kiss the dog's ass!
More lines from Phil Dearly
1 quote Phil Dearly Scenes with Phil Dearly
4 scenes Phil Dearly [singing]
I'm a Wheel Watcher! I'm a Wheel Watcher!
My mother always used to say, "When life hands you potatoes, make potato salad."
Yeah? Well life handed me a whole pile of shit. What am I supposed to do with that?!
Phil Dearly Make shit salad?
Deputy Tony Carlucci
[to Phil Dearly, after informing him of his wife's death]
So, uh...you want to tell Jeff about his mom, or do you think we should do it, or...
Phil Dearly Yeah! Uh...
Deputy Jimmy D
I mean, we'd be more than happy to do it, Phil, you know, it's just that, coming from you it may cushion the blow.
Deputy Tony Carlucci
Being that, you know, he's your son and all.
Phil Dearly Well, in that case, it might be best if one of you did it.
Please, please, Phil, please, I beg you. Please tell me that I didn't spend all this time with you to end up like this.
[Phil tries to answer]
Don't do this! I'm a 33-year-old waitress at a frigging diner that doesn't encourage tipping!
Phil Dearly 33?
[suddenly, without warning, Jeff bursts in scaring both of them]
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!
Phil Dearly [nervously]
Well, that's uh... Well, me and Rona here are just...
Phil, Jesus Christ, be a man! Jeff, whatever you think is happening in here is happening.
Phil Dearly Mom's dead, son?
Phil Dearly Uh, excuse me, did you just say BABY?
Cubby
Keep it down over there! I'm paying by the hour!
HEY, YOU SHUT UP!
Shirley
[next to Cubby in a robe exposing a harness on him]
We're good people!
Cubby
PLEASE! Have some respect!
Shirley
What is the matter with you! You're going to get your whole...
Phil Dearly [Jeff storms off slamming the door]
I better get the hell out of this joint.
