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Drowning Mona

Drowning Mona quotes

18 total quotes

Jeff Dearly
Rona Mace

View Quote Lt. Feege Gruber: They found him this morning...dead in the water, so to speak.
View Quote Mona Dearly: Don't call yourselves BJ Landscaping. You don't want people to go around calling you "Blow Job Landscaping."
View Quote Phil Dearly: [singing] I'm a Wheel Watcher! I'm a Wheel Watcher!
View Quote Bobby Kalzone: Dude, she's like 13.
Jeff Dearly: Finally!
View Quote Bobby Kalzone: It's been different since Jeff killed Peaches.
Chief Wyatt Rash: Jeff killed Peaches? I thought it was the other way around.
Bobby Kalzone: Peaches killed Jeff?
Chief Wyatt Rash: No, I heard you killed Peaches.
View Quote Bobby Kalzone: Mona Dearly's dead.
Ellen Rash: What?
Bobby Kalzone: She's dead- It was just a- car accident.
Ellen Rash: You gotta be kiddin' me. Well- We gotta celebrate!
Bobby Kalzone: Jesus, God, Ellie she's a human being. Have a little respect.
Ellen Rash: I don't gotta have respect for no one in that family. Think how they treated you.
Bobby Kalzone: How did they treat me?
Ellen Rash: Badly, they're a houseful of freaks.
View Quote Chief Wyatt Rash: My mother always used to say, "When life hands you potatoes, make potato salad."
Mona Dearly: Yeah? Well life handed me a whole pile of shit. What am I supposed to do with that?!
Phil Dearly: Make shit salad?
View Quote Chief Wyatt Rash: Tell me something Cubby, you notice anything odd lately?
Cubby: You mean other than the fact that no one seems to care about this woman's death?
Chief Wyatt Rash: Along those lines.
Cubby: Hell Wyatt, I've seen people more upset over losing change in a candy machine.
View Quote Deputy Tony Carlucci: [to Phil Dearly, after informing him of his wife's death] So, want to tell Jeff about his mom, or do you think we should do it, or...
Phil Dearly: Yeah! Uh...
Deputy Jimmy D: I mean, we'd be more than happy to do it, Phil, you know, it's just that, coming from you it may cushion the blow.
Deputy Tony Carlucci: Being that, you know, he's your son and all.
Phil Dearly: Well, in that case, it might be best if one of you did it.
View Quote Ellen Rash: Bobby! Sheesh I can't believe you killed somebody!
[she walks off]
Bobby Kalzone: Where ya goin?
Ellen Rash: Home!
Bobby Kalzone: [quietly] We need milk.
View Quote Ellen Rash: You're supposed to have that thing in your head that says, "BAD ****ING IDEA, BOBBY!"
Bobby Kalzone: I do have it! It just didn't work!
View Quote Jeff Dearly: Where's my car?
Deputy Jimmy D.: Well Jeff, it's a little bit more serious than you're car.
Jeff Dearly: Would someone mind tellin me what the hell's goin on?
Deputy Tony Carlucci: Your mother drove her car into the lake Jeff, I'm afraid she's dead.
Jeff Dearly: What was she doing in my car?
View Quote Mona Dearly: Why'de you pull us over Feege?
Lt. Feege Gruber: Oh let me think about that Mona, you're riding on rims and you pulled an 1107 on an officer of the law. [to Jeff] What the hell is the matter with you son?
Mona Dearly: What did you hurt him for?
Lt. Feege Gruber: He's drunk!
Mona Dearly: No he ain't! [to Jeff] It's OK baby. [to Feege] You're gonna pay for this Feege! You just lost your lawn service pal!
View Quote Good luck doesn't happen to people like us. Good luck happens to Madonna.
View Quote I could wind up floating on the bottom of the Hudson.