Mona Dearly Don't call yourselves BJ Landscaping. You don't want people to go around calling you "Blow Job Landscaping."
Played by Bette Midler 
Drowning Mona (2000) · 27 quotes
Drowning Mona (2000) · 27 quotes
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in Drowning Mona (2000): in 6 of its 27 quotes
Most scenes with: Jeff Dearly (2), Chief Wyatt Rash (2), Lt. Feege Gruber (2)
BJ? [laughs] Well, I think "JB" has a nicer ring to it. Besides, you don't want anyone goin' around calling ya "Blow Job Landscaping" - Do ya?
Scenes with Mona Dearly
5 scenes Mona Dearly 
My mother always used to say, "When life hands you potatoes, make potato salad."
Mona Dearly Yeah? Well life handed me a whole pile of shit. What am I supposed to do with that?!
Make shit salad?
Mona Dearly Why'de you pull us over Feege?
Oh let me think about that Mona, you're riding on rims and you pulled an 1107 on an officer of the law. [to Jeff] What the hell is the matter with you son?
Mona Dearly What did you hurt him for?
He's drunk!
Mona Dearly No he ain't! [to Jeff] It's OK baby. [to Feege] You're gonna pay for this Feege! You just lost your lawn service pal!
[after grabbing the golf club Mona is using to damage Bobby's Yugo]
God... this is. I mean, enough's enough. All I ever wanted was a nice professional business so that Ellie and I could have a...
[Cuts off Bobby and begins tapping his thumb and middle finger together]
Yeah, yeah, yeah... You know what this is? This is the world's smallest tambourine, and it's, and it's playing some sort of song or something.
Mona Dearly Shut up! Shut up! That's a violin, you asshole! Give me that thing, give me that!
We don't think you killed anybody!
Yeah? Well, you're full of shit! Everyone knows I've been wanting to get back at her ever since that night...
[a flashback shows Mona cleaving a sausage]
Hey, Ma, there's no more beer. Give me some of yours.
Mona Dearly Don't touch that beer, Jeff.
Mona Dearly I SAID...
You bet your ass.
Yeah, but, I didn't kill her. Look, don't get me wrong: I'm glad she's dead and all, but I sure as hell didn't do it.
Jeff, I know you didn't kill her.
I didn't kill my dad neither.
Then why don't you give me the gun.
