I apologize for our methods of getting you there.
I don't! I'd do it again in a heartbeat! And I am not gonna lie, I enjoyed that. Every second of it. Gave me a bit of a buzz, actually...
[interrupts Lucy]
That's enough, Agent Wilde.
Okay, this is bogus! [peels the starfish off his head and drops it onto Stuart's, who is made fun by Dave a second later] I don't know who you people think you are, but...
We are the Anti-Villain League. An ultra-secret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. Rob a bank? We're not interested. Kill someone? Not our deal. But if you want to melt the polar ice caps? Or Vaporize Mount Fuji? Or even [points his golden tea spoon at Gru] steal the moon? Then we notice.
First of all, you got no proof that I did that. Second, after I did do that, I put it back!
We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru. That's why we brought you here. I am the league's director, Silas Ramsbottom.
Stuart [smirks]
Bottom. [starts laughing along with Dave]
[unamused]
Hilarious. [sighs; to Lucy] Agent Wilde...
Oh, me now? [turns to the screen, which reveals the crime being commited earlier at the beginning] Um, recently an entire top secret lab disappeared from the Artic Circle. Yeah, the entire lab. Just whoosh. Voom. Gone. Where did it go?
[uninterested]
I don't care.
Hmm, the lab was devoted to experiments involving PX-41. A transmutation serum. What is PX-41, you ask? Mmm, It's pretty bad... Look.
[One of the scientists on the monitor injects a bunny with PX-41 serum. Once he does, Gru, Dave and Stuart lightly wince with disgust, but become interested once they see the injected bunny mutate into a purple monster. But when the mutated bunny attacks the scientist, threatening to kill him, Dave and Stuart pass out in shock once seeing this while Gru covers his eyes with his arms until the mutant attacks the camera and the video ends.]
[opens his eyes]
Huh, you usually don't see that in bunnies.
As you can see, in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum, could be the most devastating weapon on Earth. [struggles to get through a table opening] Fortunately, it has a very distinct chemical footprint. And, using our latest chem tracking technology, we have found traces of it in Paradise Mall.
Precisely. And we believe one of these shop owners is a master criminal. And that's where you come in. As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts.
The plan is to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall where hopefully...
[cuts her off]
Okay! I see where this is going, with all the Mission Impossible stuff, but no. No! [calmly] I'm a father now. And a legitimate business man. I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.
[laughs mockingly]
"Jams and jellies"?
Oh, attitude! That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. [pauses] And here's a tip: Instead of tazing people and kidnapping them, [angrily] maybe you should just give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt!
[chuckles; sarcastically]
Yeah, like that's any better.
[During the morning after one of Gru’s minions were abducted]
Are you sure we should be doing this?
Yes, it’s for his own good. [searching through Gru’s online pictures] Okay, we need to choose a picture. [clicks on one of Gru’s photos]
No. [Margo shows another picture] Scary.
[as Margo shows another photo]
Weird.
[The girls scream in horror when Margo shows a picture of Gru in his swimming trunks] [with her eyes covered]
What is that?!
[enters the family room]
Good morning, girls, I have an announcement to make!
Hey, what celebrity do you look like?
[The girls stare at Gru blankly]
Mmm... No.
[The girls start laughing while Gru gives a "I don't get it" expression]
Okay, what are you doing?
We're signing you up for online dating!
Oh, okay... WHAT?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [grabs the laptop from Margo]
And it's time for you to get out there.
No! Stop! no one is ever getting out there! Ever! [quickly passes the laptop to a Minion next to him, accidentally hitting him in the face; solemnly] Okay, now for the announcement: I have accepted a new job!
Yes, I have been recruited by a top secret agency to go undercover and save the world!
That's right, baby! Gru's back in the game with gadgets and weapons and cool cars! The whole deal!
Are you really gonna save the world?
[coolly]
Yes, [puts on a pair of sunglasses] yes, I am.
T Tim
[with male pattern baldness and an old dutch beard, wearing a shirt and tie]
Cacao!
Stuart [dressed as Pippi Longstocking]
Papadum? Eh. [chuckles]
Gru, call one of your munchkins!
[by communicator; to his minions]
We've been spotted! Come get us!
Huh? [to Stuart] Hey! Loo-koo-meow-plah!
Stuart Ah! Koom-kwat!
[Dave and Stuart break in to Paradise Mall using Lucy's car. They try to keep her car in control while driving, but accidentally push a cleaning cart blocking their way. From the balcony, Gru and Lucy see the car controlled by the Minions which causes wreckage while driving in circles around the fountain]
Hm. Subtle.
[As the car keeps driving in circles in the main hall, Gru and Lucy run off the balcony from the inactive escalator] [attempting to stop the car]
Over here! Over here! Over... [the car passes by him and Lucy; flatly] ...here. [As the out of control car driven by the Minions goes up the escalator, Gru takes a pistol out of his jacket, then shoots out a grappling hook, connecting himself to the balcony railing; grabs Lucy] Hold tight!
[The two zip to the balcony again by Gru‘s grappling hook pistol, but Lucy’s car passes by them again; Gru groans in frustration while hanging on the handrail. Once seeing Eduardo, Lucy and Gru get off the handrail, then run as fast as they can. However, they are noticed until Gru accidentally hits a cactus unharmed] [pulls out some knives; chuckles]
I have you now! [gets tackled by Lucy’s car from behind, scattering his knives all over; Gru remains hidden, while Lucy approaches her car, then opens the car door, revealing Dave and Stuart staring at her]
[holding a toothpick like a cigarette]
Rawr, rawr. [Stuart pushes the gas pedal twice. Not soon after, Lucy takes over the steering wheel and drives past the unconscious Eduardo, breaking out of the mall. Once they start plummeting to the ground, Gru screams hysterically until Lucy presses a button, transforming her car into a jet and they take off]
