[during Agnes' birthday party, Agnes looks up the disguised Gru, and sighs] [falsetto]
It is I, Gru... Zinkerbell, the most magical fairy princess of all! And I am here to wish Princess Agnes a very happy birthday! [throws a handful of fairy dust]
LG Little Girl
[raises her hand]
How come you’re so fat?
[falsetto]
Because… my house is made of candy, and sometimes, I eat instead of facing my problems!
LG Little Girl
How come you have... [Gru cuts her off; coughs]
[normally]
Okay, time for cake!
[All children, except Agnes, run to the table]
Thank you, Gruzinkerbell. You’re the best fairy princess ever.
[falsetto]
You are welcome, little girl.
[runs off, but quickly returns; whispering]
I know it’s really you, Gru. I’m just pretending for the other kids.
J Jillian
[Gru happily sees her running off, until he is approached by Jillian]
Hey there, Gru, Mr. Life of the Party!
[attempts a smile]
Hello, Jillian.
J Jillian
So, I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but my friend Natalie is recently single, and... [Natalie falls down]
No, no, no. Get off the limb right now. No limb.
J Jillian
Oh, come... she’s a riot. She sings karaoke, she has a lot of free time, looks aren’t that important to her...
No, Jill’s, that is not happening. Seriously, I’m fine.
J Jillian
[calling after him]
Okay, fine. Forget Natalie. How about my cousin Linda?
[passes by Margo and Edith]
No.
J Jillian
Oh, oh! I know someone whose husband just died... [gets sprayed by Gru's garden hose]
[dryly]
I'm sorry. I did not see you there. [sprays her again] Or there. [drops the hose and walks away holding the palette, chuckling softly]
[At night, Gru just came home from the AVL, carrying the sleeping Agnes on his shoulders, and enters the girls' bedroom] [whispers]
Hey, I told you guys to get to bed.
[making a drawing]
So when ya goin' on your date?
Remember? Miss Jillian said she was arranging a date for you.
[referring to Jillian]
Yeah, well, she is a nut job and I'm not going on any date.
Why not? [hangs from her bed ladder] Are you scared?
L Lisa
[Gru stands still of what Edith said to him; a flashback reveals an eight-year old Gru on a playground when in elementary school, holding a flower behind his back] [to her friends]
Hey, did you guys see the moon landing on TV?
G Girls
Yeah, I can’t believe it. It’s so cool...
L Lisa
Yeah, and you know what...
[approaches them]
Excuse me, Lisa?
L Lisa
[not paying attention]
I was talking to Billy the other day.
L Lisa
And I think he likes me.
[clears his throat; nervous]
Hey Lisa, I was wondering if you... [taps his finger on her shoulder]
LG Little Girl
[points at Gru’s finger on Lisa’s shoulder]
Ewww! Gru touched Lisa! Gru touched Lisa!
LK Little Kids
[horrified]
Eeeewww!
LG Little Girl
[to the whole playground]
Lisa’s got Gruties!
[Everyone runs back inside in response, screaming; the young Gru remains on the playground, disappointed] [comes out of his flashback]
Scared? Of what? Women?! [chuckles] No! That's bonkers! I just... I've no interest in going on a date! That's all! Case closed! I am not scared of women... or dates... Let's go to bed. Good night, Edith. [gives a goodnight kiss to Edith] Good night, Margo. [gives a goodnight kiss to Margo, but returns] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the horses. Who are you texting?
No one. Just my friend Avery.
Avery. [confused] Eh? Avery? Is that a girl’s name or a boy’s name?
[confused]
Does it matter?
No. No, it doesn’t matter unless it’s a boy!
I know what makes you a boy.
[concerned]
Uh...oooh...you...do?
[creates an imaginary line with her hands around the head of a temporarily confused Gru]
It’s really smooth. Sometimes I stare at it, and imagine a little chick popping out. [imitates a little chick] Peep-peep-peep.
Good night, Agnes. [gives her a kiss on the forehead] Never get older. [leaves the girls' bedroom and turns off the lights]
