CJ quotes from Dawn of the Dead (2004)

I don't want to shit on anyone's riff, but let me see if I grasp this concept, okay? You’re suggesting that we take some **** parking-shuttles and reinforce them with some aluminum siding, and then just head on over to the gun-store and watch our good friend Andy play some cowboy-movie-jump on the covered wagon-bullshit. Then, we're gonna drive across the ruined city through a welcome-committee of a few hundred-thousand dead cannibals, all so that we can sail off into the sunset on this ****in' asshole's boat? [The group nods] Alright I'm in.

****in' Figures!

Ana

The bleeding is not going to stop on its own. I need to suture his arm.

What are you, a **** doctor?

Ana

No, I'm a **** nurse.

Yeah? And how do you know they're not **** up like everybody else out there?

Ana

Well, for one thing, they're driving a truck. [Distant gunfire] Oh, and shooting guns.

Find someplace else.

Michael

Look, we just need a place--

Maybe you didn't hear me.

Michael

There is no place else.

Well, that's tough shit, 'cause this is our place, and you can't stay here.

Okay. Come out of there slowly, and hand your weapons to Bart and Terry.

Kenneth

Don't do it!

Andre

You must be out of your **** mind.

Then you can take your ass over to Quality Inn if it's still there, Shaq! Huh? Want to do that?

Whoa-whoa-whoa! Where do you think you're going?

Andre

She's not going anywhere alone.

Oh, "She's not going any --" This is a ****in' nursery school! Terry, go with 'em.

Michael

So, what's the plan?

The plan is, you drink a nice tall glass of shut-the-****-up!

Terry

You can't just turn them away, CJ. You'll kill them.

Tough shit. Self-defense.

Bart

Want to hear something that really sucks? You guys know that, that chick at Dairy Queen?

The fat one?

Bart

Yeah. She was coming over tonight. I would have tapped that shit for sure.

Terry

Bart -- dude, everybody's dead, okay? Your mom's dead. Your brother's dead. That fat chick at Dairy Queen… dead.

Bart

Yeah. That sucks too.

I ain't going anywhere without a gun.

Michael

You're not getting a gun.

Trust. The primary ingredient in any relationship.

Michael

Have at 'em, cowboy.

Asshole.

You want...every...single second. (about life as he dies of the infection.)

Bart

CJ, wait up, wait!" (as he is chased down by a zombie hord.)

Andre

You wanna kill Luda? You wanna kill my family? (to Norma before she sparks a gunfight.)

Son of a bitch shot me! (to Ana after Andre shoots her.)

Hey does this dog got a name? (to camera) I'm not gonna tell 'em how bad it is. I won't worry 'em. It's, it's gonna be okay. I think I'm just gonna rest here a minute.(after being bitten severely, becomes zombie shortly after lying down.)

Tucker

Shoot me! Shoot me!(to CJ while he is devoured by zombies.)

You've got to drive faster, man.(to Kenneth before being hacked to death by Glen.)

Glen

I've got 'em.(about a zombie before accidently killing Monica and crashing the bus.)

Steve

What the ****?

**** figures.

Michael

Yeah I think I'll just stay here awhile. Enjoy the sunrise.(to Kenneth before they leave him and he shoots himself in the head due to him being infected.)

Ana

Get the **** gun out of my face!

Oh. You got a quite mouth on you.

Bart

Somebody should show her how to use it.

Terry, go shut 'em off.

Terry

It's Bart's turn.

You're the trainee, man.

Terry

Shit rolls downhill!

Glen

I guess the first time I knew I was gay I was 13. This guy, Todd, he was building a deck in our backyard...

Okay, just, please, stop.

Glen

He had the most astonishing blue eyes.

Oh, my God! I'm in hell! [Starts doing pushups]