Michael Look, we just need a place--
Maybe you didn't hear me.
Michael There is no place else.
Well, that's tough shit, 'cause this is our place, and you can't stay here.
Played by Jake Weber 
Dawn of the Dead (2004) · 42 quotes
Dawn of the Dead (2004) · 42 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Dawn of the Dead (2004): in 9 of its 42 quotes
Most scenes with: Media (7), CJ (4), Kenneth (3)
I think I'll just stay here awhile... enjoy the sunrise.
Scenes with Michael
8 scenes Michael Michael Michael So, what's the plan?
The plan is, you drink a nice tall glass of shut-the-****-up!
Michael [Kenneth and Ana meet three other survivors traveling the opposite direction.]
You do not want to go that way.
What's that way?
Michael Officer? Sir? You do not want to go that way.
What's that way?
Michael It's pretty bad.
What about Fort Pastor?
Maybe if you had wings. The road's thick with those mother ****ers that way.
How do you know?
We just tried.
Michael ..Back when there were eight of us. [pause] We're going to the mall.
Hey, my man... I hear you talking' a lot, you know, you're always saying' something... Who the **** are you, that we should listen? Were you, like, in a special ops unit? You in the marines? What the **** do you do?
Michael I sell televisions at Best Buy.
Hey, officer! How do you like following a guy that sells TVs?
About as much as I like following a guy who steals them. I'm not following anyone. I'm going to Fort Pastor to get my brother.
Michael That truck's not gonna make it to Fort Pastor.
No, forget it. That place is ****, man. Bloodbath city.
Norma We just came from there.
Is everyone there dead?
Dead-ish.
Is everyone there dead?!
Yeah, in the sense that they all sort of, uh, fell down, and then...got up, and...started eating each other.
Michael Look, there's no point in arguing about this, all right? We need a solution. We-we need to get some food over there.
Okay, uh, I have an idea. We, uh, we draw straws, and the loser runs across the lot with a ham sandwich.
Could you be a bigger prick?
Probably, but that's irrelevant.
I ain't going anywhere without a gun.
Michael You're not getting a gun.
Trust. The primary ingredient in any relationship.
Michael [tosses him an axe]
Have at 'em, cowboy.
Asshole.
Frank You want...every...single second. (about life as he dies of the infection.)
CJ, wait up, wait!" (as he is chased down by a zombie hord.)
You wanna kill Luda? You wanna kill my family? (to Norma before she sparks a gunfight.)
Norma Son of a bitch shot me! (to Ana after Andre shoots her.)
Andy
(on radio)
Hey does this dog got a name? (to camera) I'm not gonna tell 'em how bad it is. I won't worry 'em. It's, it's gonna be okay. I think I'm just gonna rest here a minute.(after being bitten severely, becomes zombie shortly after lying down.)
Shoot me! Shoot me!(to CJ while he is devoured by zombies.)
Monica You've got to drive faster, man.(to Kenneth before being hacked to death by Glen.)
I've got 'em.(about a zombie before accidently killing Monica and crashing the bus.)
(before killing himself and the zombies grabbing him by blowing up the bus he is in.)
**** figures.
Michael Yeah I think I'll just stay here awhile. Enjoy the sunrise.(to Kenneth before they leave him and he shoots himself in the head due to him being infected.)
