Nora
Oh, honey, they were just welcoming you into the family.
They just set me on fire.
Nora
Just your pants.
Sure, last time, it was my pants, but what if next time it's my face? This is how I get the jobs!
Tied for 7th most-quoted character in Cheaper by the Dozen (2003): in 4 of its 28 quotes
Most scenes with: Hank (4), Tom Baker (3), Kate Baker (3)
Scenes with Nora
4 scenes
Mom, Beans is dead.
Nobody cares about your stupid frog right now, FedEx, okay?
(Annoyed and irritated)
Stop calling me that! (charges at her, causing the whole family to start a heated argument)
Don't you dare call him that!
All right! Hey!
Stop! Stop!
Cameraman 1
What's the name of this segment again?
Cameraman 2
Uh, "One Big Happy Family"?
Cameraman 1
Okay, I'm calling Oprah's family right now.
All I'm saying is families are inevitable. It's like death or taxes.
Nora
Does that mean you don't want children?
Chil...?
Leave him alone!
Hello! Look at these-- They're monsters! Honey, you can't want this. That's why you're with me.
Nora! Come on! We need you down here!
You're stepping on me! You're messing my hair! Stop!
Nigel, get off your brother's head!
Nora
Mark.
Nobody cares about me!
Nora
(tries to comfort Mark)
Mark, what's going on? (Mark runs upstairs in despair) Mark! Mark!
Sarah and Lorraine
What are you talking about?!
Nora
[on the phone]
It totally sucks. I miss you too, but, I mean, I've gotta get a job. Hi, Lorraine. Okay, I'll try and be there, honey. Hi, Kimmy. Yeah, I-I know that I haven't been very friendly recently. [to Hank] They are pulling me in again!
Just tell them you can't do it.
Nora
[on the phone]
Could you guys hold on a second? [to Hank] That's easy for you to say! You're an only child! It might be fun to babysit together.
No! Whoa, no! No, you know what happened the last time we visited.
Nora
Oh, honey, they were just welcoming you into the family.
They set me on fire.
Nora
Just your pants.
Honey, I am an actor, okay? And sure, last time, it was just my pants, but what if next time it's my face? This is the moneymaker! I'm not that good of an actor! This is how I get the jobs! I know that! I'm man enough to admit it!
Nora
Please? Please, please, please, please?
Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that! You always do that to me. Fine, fine, you know what? We'll go. But I'll tell you what. One thing happens and I'm gone. And no fires. And we sleep in the same room.
Nora
[on the phone to Kimmy]
Kimmy, put Dad on.
She says she'll help us out if they can stay in the same room.
No, no way. No, she knows the rules. She wants to have her own room while she's here. Isn't that sweet? No.
[on the phone with Nora]
Okay, look, why don't you just come over on Sunday, and we'll talk logistics. All right, bye. [hangs up the phone]
Tell me that Mister Doorknob Man isn't babysitting too!
Yes, he very well might be, young lady!
And do not set his pants on fire again!
Yes.
Classic.
Does anyone besides me think our "happier and stronger" life, is actually code for "nastier and suckier"?
Mike
First, Dad forces us to move.
Then Mom decides to become a career person and like, travel the globe.
Jessica
And now we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor?
And he hates kids, too.
Jessica
Nora's blind to his evil. We have no choice but to intervene.
We've got 48 hours. Let's work up a plan.
What's this?
Nora
Hank slept over. Do you have a problem with that?
Yes, I have a problem with that! This house is G-rated.
Whoa, chief. Look, Nora's a big girl.
Now would be an excellent time for you to be very, very quiet, chief. Now, get dressed and get downstairs.
Whoa.
I just... I can't believe you let things get this bad around here. I can't believe it.
Well, what can I say? You didn't pick the perfect moment to have a career.
Oh, okay, yeah. I'm not even gonna touch that hypocrisy. You told me to go to New York. Do you remember that? Mr. I Can Handle It. "Everything'll be okay. Go, Kate! Go!" Help me, would you?
So you're telling me you didn't want to go to New York?
No. I want a lot of things. So do you. That's the problem.
This isn't working.
Yeah, that's my point.
I meant the zipper.
Let's just get through the next hour, okay?
Fine.
Fine. Okay, everybody. I know it's been a difficult day, but I need all of you, and I would appreciate it if you could just put on happy faces. Everything's great. We're a big, happy family. If you can remember the lines I told you to say to Oprah. If you can't remember, don't say anything. Big smiles. Let me see 'em.
Mom, Beans is dead!
Nobody cares about your stupid frog right now, FedEx, okay?
(Annoyed and irritated)
STOP CALLING ME THAT! (charges at her, causing the whole family to start a heated argument)
DON'T YOU DARE CALL HIM THAT!
All right! Hey!
Stop! Stop! Oprah is coming!
Cameraman 1
What's the name of this segment again?
Cameraman 2
Uh, "One Big Happy Family"?
Cameraman 1
Okay, I'm calling Oprah's people right now.
All I'm saying is that families are inevitable. It's like death or taxes.
Nora
Does that mean you don't want children?
Children?
Leave him alone!
Hello! Look at these, children! They're monsters! Honey, you can't want this. That's why you're with me.
Nora! Come on! We need you down here!
You're stepping on me! You're messing up my hair! Stop!
Nigel, get off your brother's head!
Nora
Mark.
Nobody cares about me!
Nora
(tries to comfort Mark)
Mark, what's going on? (Mark runs upstairs in despair) Mark! Mark!
Sarah and Lorraine
What? What are you talking about? I'm perfect! I've never done anything like this before!
Oh, no, none of that!
Hey! Hey!
Cameraman 1
No, you do not want to come here. No, it's the farthest thing from a happy family.
Why am I the only normal person in this family?
