Mary It's your choice; you can run off with Megan and turn into a raging bull-**** or, you can do the simulation and graduate and lead a normal life.
2nd most-quoted character in But I'm a Cheerleader (2000): in 11 of its 35 quotes
Most scenes with: Megan (4), Graham (3), Joel Goldberg (2)
Foreplay is for sissies!
More lines from Mary
4 quotes Mary Mary You hormonal hussy! Get up, get up right now!
Mary I have told you over and over again! No more sipping! Chug it, like a man! Go on, chug!
Mary [to Megan]
: Get out of bed! You hormonal hussy! I can't believe you did this!
Scenes with Mary
6 scenes
There's no inappropriate behavior allowed.
Inappropriate... like swearing?
No, inappropriate like ****.
Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good.
Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good.
You are who you are, the trick is not getting caught!
Then why are you here?
I got caught.
2, 4, 6, 8, God is good...
God is straight!
Hey, that's good.
Shit, Miss Mary, I ain't the only one who don't got no root.
Mary Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions.
Everyone thinks I'm this big **** because I wear baggy pants and play sports and I'm not pretty like other girls. But all I really want is a big, fat weiner up my...
Amen, sister.
Sinead If that little twink would've narced on me, heads would have rolled.
What would have done? Tied her to your bed and zapped her to death? Or are you running low on batteries?
You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar!
Where else would we go?
You're more than just a sissy. You're nice, and clean, and smart... and sexy and firm and luscious and...
Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved himself straight tellin' my ass how sexy I am!
I myself was once a gay. Now I'm an ex-gay, Megan. I work for a place called True Directions who help people, like yourself, to learn to understand the reasons behind homosexual tendencies, and how to heal them.
What tendencies? Why would you think I'm a...
Megan's Mom: You've been trying to make us eat this tofu.
In diet, watch for a switch to vegetarianism.
Kimberly You don't have any pictures of guys in your locker, just these. [shows a photo of a girl in bikini]
Mm-hmm.
Megan's Dad: And these. [her parents show a Melissa Etheridge poster and a Georgia O'Keeffe inspired painting]
Sexual, even vaginal motifs in artwork and decorating. Gay iconography.
Jared You don't even like to kiss me.
Her friends [all together]: It's true.
I can't believe this.
Denial is a normal part of the healing process that we'll explore at True Directions.
Healing?
Megan's Mom: Like rehab, honey. Homosexuals Anonymous.
Mary Looks like we got you just in time. What are you? About 17?
Megan's Dad: Yes!
Mary Almost lost her to college. It’s so much harder once they’ve been through all that liberal arts brainwashing, but we’ve saved a few.
After advanced cal and Chaucer I can follow this psychobabble.
Mary This psychobabble, young lady is the only healthy alternative to the gay lifestyle. Other than guzzling a bottle of tranquilizers or slashing your wrists.
Mary I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham.
My mother got married in pants.
Mary All right, let's see, Dolph?
Dolph Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.
Mary Hilary?
All girl boarding school.
Mary Sinead?
Sinead I was born in France.
Mary Clayton?
Clayton My mom let me play in her pumps.
I like balls.
Mary Why thank you for that, Jan.
Mary Joel?
Traumatic bris.
Mary Megan, it's your turn to report out your root.
I think it might be my parents.
Mary Okay, go with that.
You know we've kinda been like this greeting card family. And then there was that one year where... well Dad was unemployed and Mom had to support us.
Megan's Dad: Wait a minute, that was only for nine months. And then I was offered a much better job at the plant.
Maybe seeing Mom kind of being the Dad, maybe l maybe I got the wrong idea about the roles of men and women.
Mary Absolutely. I can't believe that you didn't mention this earlier. Your father was emasculated, your mother was domineering.
Well not exactly.
Mary You wanted to emulate your mother. You have no respect for men, because you don't respect your father.
1, 2, 3, 4 - I won't take no anymore! 5, 6, 7, 8 - I want you to be my mate! 1, 2, 3 ,4 - You're the one that I adore! 5, 6, 7, 8 - Don't run from me cause this is fate!
Mary Megan, you stop it, this instant! Because you will wallow in the smut of your homosexual depravity for the rest of your life!
